Chapter 1
The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.
The studio was filled with the rich odour of roses, and when the light summer wind stirred amidst the trees of the garden, there came through the open door the heavy scent of the lilac, or the more delicate perfume of the pink-flowering thorn.
From the corner of the divan of Persian saddle-bags on
which he was lying, smoking, as was his custom, innumerable cigarettes, Lord
Henry Wotton could just catch the gleam of the honey-sweet and honey-coloured
blossoms of a laburnum, whose tremulous branches seemed hardly able to bear the
burden of a beauty so flame-like as theirs; and now and then the fantastic
shadows of birds in flight flitted across the long tussore-silk curtains that
were stretched in front of the huge window, producing a kind of momentary
Japanese effect, and making him think of those pallid, jade-faced painters of
Tokyo who, through the medium of an art that is necessarily immobile, seek to
convey the sense of swiftness and motion. The sullen murmur of the bees
shouldering their way through the long unmown grass, or circling with
monotonous insistence round the dusty gilt horns of the straggling woodbine,
seemed to make the stillness more oppressive. The dim roar of London was like
the bourdon note of a distant organ.
In the centre of the room, clamped to an upright
easel, stood the full-length portrait of a young man of extraordinary personal
beauty, and in front of it, some little distance away, was sitting the artist
himself, Basil Hallward, whose sudden disappearance some years ago caused, at
the time, such public excitement and gave rise to so many strange conjectures.
As the painter looked at the gracious and comely form
he had so skilfully mirrored in his art, a smile of pleasure passed across his
face, and seemed about to linger there. But he suddenly started up, and closing
his eyes, placed his fingers upon the lids, as though he sought to imprison
within his brain some curious dream from which he feared he might awake.
“It is your best work, Basil, the best thing you have
ever done,” said Lord Henry languidly. “You must certainly send it next year to
the Grosvenor. The Academy is too large and too vulgar. Whenever I have gone
there, there have been either so many people that I have not been able to see
the pictures, which was dreadful, or so many pictures that I have not been able
to see the people, which was worse. The Grosvenor is really the only place.”
“I don’t think I shall send it anywhere,” he answered,
tossing his head back in that odd way that used to make his friends laugh at
him at Oxford. “No, I won’t send it anywhere.”
Lord Henry elevated his eyebrows and looked at him in
amazement through the thin blue wreaths of smoke that curled up in such
fanciful whorls from his heavy, opium-tainted cigarette. “Not send it anywhere?
My dear fellow, why? Have you any reason? What odd chaps you painters are! You
do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you
seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing
in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and
make the old men quite jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion.”
“I know you will laugh at me,” he replied, “but I
really can’t exhibit it. I have put too much of myself into it.”
Lord Henry stretched himself out on the divan and
laughed.
“Yes, I knew you would; but it is quite true, all the
same.”
“Too much of yourself in it! Upon my word, Basil, I
didn’t know you were so vain; and I really can’t see any resemblance between
you, with your rugged strong face and your coal-black hair, and this young
Adonis, who looks as if he was made out of ivory and rose-leaves. Why, my dear
Basil, he is a Narcissus, and you—well, of course you have an intellectual
expression and all that. But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual
expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys
the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all
nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any
of the learned professions. How perfectly hideous they are! Except, of course,
in the Church. But then in the Church they don’t think. A bishop keeps on
saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say when he was a boy of
eighteen, and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful.
Your mysterious young friend, whose name you have never told me, but whose
picture really fascinates me, never thinks. I feel quite sure of that. He is
some brainless beautiful creature who should be always here in winter when we
have no flowers to look at, and always here in summer when we want something to
chill our intelligence. Don’t flatter yourself, Basil: you are not in the least
like him.”
“You don’t understand me, Harry,” answered the artist.
“Of course I am not like him. I know that perfectly well. Indeed, I should be
sorry to look like him. You shrug your shoulders? I am telling you the truth.
There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual distinction, the sort
of fatality that seems to dog through history the faltering steps of kings. It
is better not to be different from one’s fellows. The ugly and the stupid have
the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play.
If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of
defeat. They live as we all should live—undisturbed, indifferent, and without
disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever receive it from alien
hands. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they are—my art,
whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray’s good looks—we shall all suffer for what
the gods have given us, suffer terribly.”
“Dorian Gray? Is that his name?” asked Lord Henry,
walking across the studio towards Basil Hallward.
“Yes, that is his name. I didn’t intend to tell it to
you.”
“But why not?”
“Oh, I can’t explain. When I like people immensely, I
never tell their names to any one. It is like surrendering a part of them. I
have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern
life mysterious or marvellous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one
only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going.
If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but
somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one’s life. I suppose
you think me awfully foolish about it?”
“Not at all,” answered Lord Henry, “not at all, my
dear Basil. You seem to forget that I am married, and the one charm of marriage
is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. I never
know where my wife is, and my wife never knows what I am doing. When we meet—we
do meet occasionally, when we dine out together, or go down to the Duke’s—we
tell each other the most absurd stories with the most serious faces. My wife is
very good at it—much better, in fact, than I am. She never gets confused over
her dates, and I always do. But when she does find me out, she makes no row at
all. I sometimes wish she would; but she merely laughs at me.”
“I hate the way you talk about your married life,
Harry,” said Basil Hallward, strolling towards the door that led into the
garden. “I believe that you are really a very good husband, but that you are
thoroughly ashamed of your own virtues. You are an extraordinary fellow. You
never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing. Your cynicism is
simply a pose.”
“Being natural is simply a pose, and the most
irritating pose I know,” cried Lord Henry, laughing; and the two young men went
out into the garden together and ensconced themselves on a long bamboo seat
that stood in the shade of a tall laurel bush. The sunlight slipped over the
polished leaves. In the grass, white daisies were tremulous.
After a pause, Lord Henry pulled out his watch. “I am
afraid I must be going, Basil,” he murmured, “and before I go, I insist on your
answering a question I put to you some time ago.”
“What is that?” said the painter, keeping his eyes
fixed on the ground.
“You know quite well.”
“I do not, Harry.”
“Well, I will tell you what it is. I want you to
explain to me why you won’t exhibit Dorian Gray’s picture. I want the real
reason.”
“I told you the real reason.”
“No, you did not. You said it was because there was
too much of yourself in it. Now, that is childish.”
“Harry,” said Basil Hallward, looking him straight in
the face, “every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the
artist, not of the sitter. The sitter is merely the accident, the occasion. It
is not he who is revealed by the painter; it is rather the painter who, on the
coloured canvas, reveals himself. The reason I will not exhibit this picture is
that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul.”
Lord Henry laughed. “And what is that?” he asked.
“I will tell you,” said Hallward; but an expression of
perplexity came over his face.
“I am all expectation, Basil,” continued his
companion, glancing at him.
“Oh, there is really very little to tell, Harry,”
answered the painter; “and I am afraid you will hardly understand it. Perhaps
you will hardly believe it.”
Lord Henry smiled, and leaning down, plucked a
pink-petalled daisy from the grass and examined it. “I am quite sure I shall
understand it,” he replied, gazing intently at the little golden,
white-feathered disk, “and as for believing things, I can believe anything,
provided that it is quite incredible.”
The wind shook some blossoms from the trees, and the
heavy lilac-blooms, with their clustering stars, moved to and fro in the
languid air. A grasshopper began to chirrup by the wall, and like a blue thread
a long thin dragon-fly floated past on its brown gauze wings. Lord Henry felt
as if he could hear Basil Hallward’s heart beating, and wondered what was
coming.
“The story is simply this,” said the painter after
some time. “Two months ago I went to a crush at Lady Brandon’s. You know we
poor artists have to show ourselves in society from time to time, just to
remind the public that we are not savages. With an evening coat and a white
tie, as you told me once, anybody, even a stock-broker, can gain a reputation
for being civilised. Well, after I had been in the room about ten minutes,
talking to huge overdressed dowagers and tedious academicians, I suddenly
became conscious that some one was looking at me. I turned half-way round and
saw Dorian Gray for the first time. When our eyes met, I felt that I was
growing pale. A curious sensation of terror came over me. I knew that I had
come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that,
if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my
very art itself. I did not want any external influence in my life. You know
yourself, Harry, how independent I am by nature. I have always been my own
master; had at least always been so, till I met Dorian Gray. Then—but I don’t
know how to explain it to you. Something seemed to tell me that I was on the
verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling that fate had in
store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows. I grew afraid and turned to
quit the room. It was not conscience that made me do so: it was a sort of
cowardice. I take no credit to myself for trying to escape.”
“Conscience and cowardice are really the same things,
Basil. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all.”
“I don’t believe that, Harry, and I don’t believe you
do either. However, whatever was my motive—and it may have been pride, for I
used to be very proud—I certainly struggled to the door. There, of course, I
stumbled against Lady Brandon. ‘You are not going to run away so soon, Mr.
Hallward?’ she screamed out. You know her curiously shrill voice?”
“Yes; she is a peacock in everything but beauty,” said
Lord Henry, pulling the daisy to bits with his long nervous fingers.
“I could not get rid of her. She brought me up to
royalties, and people with stars and garters, and elderly ladies with gigantic
tiaras and parrot noses. She spoke of me as her dearest friend. I had only met
her once before, but she took it into her head to lionise me. I believe some picture
of mine had made a great success at the time, at least had been chattered about
in the penny newspapers, which is the nineteenth-century standard of
immortality. Suddenly I found myself face to face with the young man whose
personality had so strangely stirred me. We were quite close, almost touching.
Our eyes met again. It was reckless of me, but I asked Lady Brandon to
introduce me to him. Perhaps it was not so reckless, after all. It was simply
inevitable. We would have spoken to each other without any introduction. I am
sure of that. Dorian told me so afterwards. He, too, felt that we were destined
to know each other.”
“And how did Lady Brandon describe this wonderful
young man?” asked his companion. “I know she goes in for giving a rapid pr “Poor Lady Brandon! You are hard on her,
Harry!” said Hallward listlessly.
“My dear fellow, she tried to found a salon , and only succeeded in opening a
restaurant. How could I admire her? But tell me, what did she say about Mr.
Dorian Gray?”
“Oh, something like, ‘Charming boy—poor dear mother
and I absolutely inseparable. Quite forget what he does—afraid he—doesn’t do
anything—oh, yes, plays the piano—or is it the violin, dear Mr. Gray?’ Neither
of us could help laughing, and we became friends at once.”
“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a
friendship, and it is far the best ending for one,” said the young lord,
plucking another daisy.
Hallward shook his head. “You don’t understand what
friendship is, Harry,” he murmured—“or what enmity is, for that matter. You
like every one; that is to say, you are indifferent to every one.”
“How horribly unjust of you!” cried Lord Henry,
tilting his hat back and looking up at the little clouds that, like ravelled
skeins of glossy white silk, were drifting across the hollowed turquoise of the
summer sky. “Yes; horribly unjust of you. I make a great difference between
people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their
good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too
careful in the choice of his enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They
are all men of some intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate
me. Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather vain.”
“I should think it was, Harry. But according to your
category I must be merely an acquaintance.”
“My dear old Basil, you are much more than an
acquaintance.”
“And much less than a friend. A sort of brother, I
suppose?”
“Oh, brothers! I don’t care for brothers. My elder
brother won’t die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else.”
“Harry!” exclaimed Hallward, frowning.
“My dear fellow, I am not quite serious. But I can’t
help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us
can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. I quite sympathise
with the rage of the English democracy against what they call the vices of the
upper orders. The masses feel that drunkenness, stupidity, and immorality
should be their own special property, and that if any one of us makes an ass of
himself, he is poaching on their preserves. When poor Southwark got into the
divorce court, their indignation was quite magnificent. And yet I don’t suppose
that ten per cent of the proletariat live correctly.”
“I don’t agree with a single word that you have said,
and, what is more, Harry, I feel sure you don’t either.”
Lord Henry stroked his pointed brown beard and tapped
the toe of his patent-leather boot with a tasselled ebony cane. “How English
you are Basil! That is the second time you have made that observation. If one
puts forward an idea to a true Englishman—always a rash thing to do—he never
dreams of considering whether the idea is right or wrong. The only thing he
considers of any importance is whether one believes it oneself. Now, the value
of an idea has nothing whatsoever to do with the sincerity of the man who
expresses it. Indeed, the probabilities are that the more insincere the man is,
the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be
coloured by either his wants, his desires, or his prejudices. However, I don’t
propose to discuss politics, sociology, or metaphysics with you. I like persons
better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than
anything else in the world. Tell me more about Mr. Dorian Gray. How often do
you see him?”
“Every day. I couldn’t be happy if I didn’t see him
every day. He is absolutely necessary to me.”
“How extraordinary! I thought you would never care for
anything but your art.”
“He is all my art to me now,” said the painter
gravely. “I sometimes think, Harry, that there are only two eras of any
importance in the world’s history. The first is the appearance of a new medium
for art, and the second is the appearance of a new personality for art also.
What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians, the face of Antino
“Basil, this is extraordinary! I must see Dorian Gray.”
Hallward got up from the seat and walked up and down
the garden. After some time he came back. “Harry,” he said, “Dorian Gray is to
me simply a motive in art. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in
him. He is never more present in my work than when no image of him is there. He
is a suggestion, as I have said, of a new manner. I find him in the curves of
certain lines, in the loveliness and subtleties of certain colours. That is
all.”
“Then why won’t you exhibit his portrait?” asked Lord
Henry.
“Because, without intending it, I have put into it
some expression of all this curious artistic idolatry, of which, of course, I
have never cared to speak to him. He knows nothing about it. He shall never
know anything about it. But the world might guess it, and I will not bare my
soul to their shallow prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope.
There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry—too much of myself!”
“Poets are not so scrupulous as you are. They know how
useful passion is for publication. Nowadays a broken heart will run to many
editions.”
“I hate them for it,” cried Hallward. “An artist
should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into
them. We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of
autobiography. We have lost the abstract sense of beauty. Some day I will show
the world what it is; and for that reason the world shall never see my portrait
of Dorian Gray.”
“I think you are wrong, Basil, but I won’t argue with
you. It is only the intellectually lost who ever argue. Tell me, is Dorian Gray
very fond of you?”
The painter considered for a few moments. “He likes
me,” he answered after a pause; “I know he likes me. Of course I flatter him
dreadfully. I find a strange pleasure in saying things to him that I know I
shall be sorry for having said. As a rule, he is charming to me, and we sit in
the studio and talk of a thousand things. Now and then, however, he is horribly
thoughtless, and seems to take a real delight in giving me pain. Then I feel,
Harry, that I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it
were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an
ornament for a summer’s day.”
“Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger,” murmured
Lord Henry. “Perhaps you will tire sooner than he will. It is a sad thing to
think of, but there is no doubt that genius lasts longer than beauty. That
accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. In
the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures, and so
we fill our minds with rubbish and facts, in the silly hope of keeping our
place. The thoroughly well-informed man—that is the modern ideal. And the mind
of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-
“Harry, don’t talk like that. As long as I live, the personality of Dorian Gray
will dominate me. You can’t feel what I feel. You change too often.”
“Ah, my dear Basil, that is exactly why I can feel it.
Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless
who know love’s tragedies.” And Lord Henry struck a light on a dainty silver
case and began to smoke a cigarette with a self-conscious and satisfied air, as
if he had summed up the world in a phrase. There was a rustle of chirruping
sparrows in the green lacquer leaves of the ivy, and the blue cloud-shadows
chased themselves across the grass like swallows. How pleasant it was in the
garden! And how delightful other people’s emotions were!—much more delightful
than their ideas, it seemed to him. One’s own soul, and the passions of one’s
friends—those were the fascinating things in life. He pictured to himself with
silent amusement the tedious luncheon that he had missed by staying so long
with Basil Hallward. Had he gone to his aunt’s, he would have been sure to have
met Lord Hoodbody there, and the whole conversation would have been about the
feeding of the poor and the necessity for model lodging-houses. Each class
would have preached the importance of those virtues, for whose exercise there
was no necessity in their own lives. The rich would have spoken on the value of
thrift, and the idle grown eloquent over the dignity of labour. It was charming
to have escaped all that! As he thought of his aunt, an idea seemed to strike
him. He turned to Hallward and said, “My dear fellow, I have just remembered.”
“Remembered what, Harry?”
“Where I heard the name of Dorian Gray.”
“Where was it?” asked Hallward, with a slight frown.
“Don’t look so angry, Basil. It was at my aunt, Lady
Agatha’s. She told me she had discovered a wonderful young man who was going to
help her in the East End, and that his name was Dorian Gray. I am bound to
state that she never told me he was good-looking. Women have no appreciation of
good looks; at least, good women have not. She said that he was very earnest
and had a beautiful nature. I at once pictured to myself a creature with
spectacles and lank hair, horribly freckled, and tramping about on huge feet. I
wish I had known it was your friend.”
“I am very glad you didn’t, Harry.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to meet him.”
“You don’t want me to meet him?”
“No.”
“Mr. Dorian Gray is in the studio, sir,” said the
butler, coming into the garden.
“You must introduce me now,” cried Lord Henry,
laughing.
The painter turned to his servant, who stood blinking
in the sunlight. “Ask Mr. Gray to wait, Parker: I shall be in in a few
moments.” The man bowed and went up the walk.
Then he looked at Lord Henry. “Dorian Gray is my
dearest friend,” he said. “He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt
was quite right in what she said of him. Don’t spoil him. Don’t try to
influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and has many
marvellous people in it. Don’t take away from me the one person who gives to my
art whatever charm it possesses: my life as an artist depends on him. Mind,
Harry, I trust you.” He spoke very slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of
him almost against his will.
“What nonsense you talk!” said Lord Henry, smiling,
and taking Hallward by the arm, he almost led him into the house.
Chapter 2
As they
entered they saw Dorian Gray. He was seated at the piano, with his back to
them, turning over the pages of a volume of Schumann’s “Forest Scenes.” “You
must lend me these, Basil,” he cried. “I want to learn them. They are perfectly
charming.”
“That
entirely depends on how you sit to-day, Dorian.”
“Oh, I am
tired of sitting, and I don’t want a life-sized portrait of myself,” answered
the lad, swinging round on the music-stool in a wilful, petulant manner. When
he caught sight of Lord Henry, a faint blush coloured his cheeks for a moment,
and he started up. “I beg your pardon, Basil, but I didn’t know you had any one
with you.”
“This is
Lord Henry Wotton, Dorian, an old Oxford friend of mine. I have just been
telling him what a capital sitter you were, and now you have spoiled
everything.”
“You have not
spoiled my pleasure in meeting you, Mr. Gray,” said Lord Henry, stepping
forward and extending his hand. “My aunt has often spoken to me about you. You
are one of her favourites, and, I am afraid, one of her victims also.”
“I am in
Lady Agatha’s black books at present,” answered Dorian with a funny look of
penitence. “I promised to go to a club in Whitechapel with her last Tuesday,
and I really forgot all about it. We were to have played a duet together—three
duets, I believe. I don’t know what she will say to me. I am far too frightened
to call.”
“Oh, I will
make your peace with my aunt. She is quite devoted to you. And I don’t think it
really matters about your not being there. The audience probably thought it was
a duet. When Aunt Agatha sits down to the piano, she makes quite enough noise
for two people.”
“That is
very horrid to her, and not very nice to me,” answered Dorian, laughing.
Lord Henry
looked at him. Yes, he was certainly wonderfully handsome, with his finely
curved scarlet lips, his frank blue eyes, his crisp gold hair. There was
something in his face that made one trust him at once. All the candour of youth
was there, as well as all youth’s passionate purity. One felt that he had kept
himself unspotted from the world. No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him.
“You are
too charming to go in for philanthropy, Mr. Gray—far too charming.” And Lord
Henry flung himself down on the divan and opened his cigarette-case.
The painter
had been busy mixing his colours and getting his brushes ready. He was looking
worried, and when he heard Lord Henry’s last remark, he glanced at him,
hesitated for a moment, and then said, “Harry, I want to finish this picture
to-day. Would you think it awfully rude of me if I asked you to go away?”
Lord Henry
smiled and looked at Dorian Gray. “Am I to go, Mr. Gray?” he asked.
“Oh, please
don’t, Lord Henry. I see that Basil is in one of his sulky moods, and I can’t
bear him when he sulks. Besides, I want you to tell me why I should not go in
for philanthropy.”
“I don’t
know that I shall tell you that, Mr. Gray. It is so tedious a subject that one
would have to talk seriously about it. But I certainly shall not run away, now
that you have asked me to stop.
You don’t
really mind, Basil, do you? You have often told me that you liked your sitters
to have some one to chat to.”
Hallward
bit his lip. “If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. Dorian’s whims are
laws to everybody, except himself.”
Lord Henry
took up his hat and gloves. “You are very pressing, Basil, but I am afraid I
must go. I have promised to meet a man at the Orleans. Good-bye, Mr. Gray. Come
and see me some afternoon in Curzon Street. I am nearly always at home at five
o’clock. Write to me when you are coming. I should be sorry to miss you.”
“Basil,”
cried Dorian Gray, “if Lord Henry Wotton goes, I shall go, too. You never open
your lips while you are painting, and it is horribly dull standing on a
platform and trying to look pleasant. Ask him to stay. I insist upon it.”
“Stay,
Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me,” said Hallward, gazing intently at
his picture. “It is quite true, I never talk when I am working, and never
listen either, and it must be dreadfully tedious for my unfortunate sitters. I
beg you to stay.”
“But what
about my man at the Orleans?”
The painter
laughed. “I don’t think there will be any difficulty about that. Sit down
again, Harry. And now, Dorian, get up on the platform, and don’t move about too
much, or pay any attention to what Lord Henry says. He has a very bad influence
over all his friends, with the single exception of myself.”
Dorian Gray
stepped up on the dais with the air of a young Greek martyr, and made a little
moue of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he had rather taken a fancy. He was
so unlike Basil. They made a delightful contrast. And he had such a beautiful
voice. After a few moments he said to him, “Have you really a very bad
influence, Lord Henry? As bad as Basil says?”
“There is
no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral—immoral
from the scientific point of view.”
“Why?”
“Because to
influence a person is to give him one’s own soul. He does not think his natural
thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him.
His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of
some one else’s music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him.
The aim of life is self-development. To realise one’s nature perfectly—that is
what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They
have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one’s self.
Of course, they are charitable. They feed the hungry and clothe the beggar. But
their own souls starve, and are naked. Courage has gone out of our race.
Perhaps we never really had it. The terror of society, which is the basis of
morals, the terror of God, which is the secret of religion—these are the two
things that govern us. And yet—”
“Just turn
your head a little more to the right, Dorian, like a good boy,” said the painter,
deep in his work and conscious only that a look had come into the lad’s face
that he had never seen there before.
“And yet,”
continued Lord Henry, in his low, musical voice, and with that graceful wave of
the hand that was always so characteristic of him, and that he had even in his
Eton days, “I believe that if one man were to live out his life fully and
completely, were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought,
reality to every dream—I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse
of joy that we would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the
Hellenic ideal—to something finer, richer than the Hellenic ideal, it may be.
But the bravest man amongst us is afraid of himself. The mutilation of the
savage has its tragic survival in the self-denial that mars our lives. We are
punished for our refusals. Every impulse that we strive to strangle broods in
the mind and poisons us. The body sins once, and has done with its sin, for
action is a mode of purification. Nothing remains then but the recollection of
a pleasure, or the luxury of a regret. The only way to get rid of a temptation
is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the
things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have
made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the
world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the
great sins of the world take place also. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your
rose-red youth and your rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have
made you afraid, thoughts that have fined you with terror, day-dreams and
sleeping dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame—”
“Stop!”
faltered Dorian Gray, “stop! you bewilder me. I don’t know what to say. There
is some answer to you, but I cannot find it. Don’t speak. Let me think. Or,
rather, let me try not to think.”
For nearly
ten minutes he stood there, motionless, with parted lips and eyes strangely
bright. He was dimly conscious that entirely fresh influences were at work
within him. Yet they seemed to him to have come really from himself. The few
words that Basil’s friend had said to him—words spoken by chance, no doubt, and
with wilful paradox in them—had touched some secret chord that had never been
touched before, but that he felt was now vibrating and throbbing to curious
pulses.
Music had
stirred him like that. Music had troubled him many times. But music was not
articulate. It was not a new world, but rather another chaos, that it created
in us. Words! Mere words! How terrible they were! How clear, and vivid, and
cruel! One could not escape from them. And yet what a subtle magic there was in
them! They seemed to be able to give a plastic form to formless things, and to
have a music of their own as sweet as that of viol or of lute. Mere words! Was
there anything so real as words?
Yes; there
had been things in his boyhood that he had not understood. He understood them
now. Life suddenly became fiery-coloured to him. It seemed to him that he had
been walking in fire. Why had he not known it?
With his
subtle smile, Lord Henry watched him. He knew the precise psychological moment
when to say nothing. He felt intensely interested. He was amazed at the sudden
impression that his words had produced, and, remembering a book that he had
read when he was sixteen, a book which had revealed to him much that he had not
known before, he wondered whether Dorian Gray was passing through a similar
experience. He had merely shot an arrow into the air. Had it hit the mark? How
fascinating the lad was!
Hallward painted
away with that marvellous bold touch of his, that had the true refinement and
perfect delicacy that in art, at any rate comes only from strength. He was
unconscious of the silence.
“Basil, I
am tired of standing,” cried Dorian Gray suddenly. “I must go out and sit in
the garden. The air is stifling here.”
“My dear
fellow, I am so sorry. When I am painting, I can’t think of anything else. But
you never sat better. You were perfectly still. And I have caught the effect I
wanted—the half-parted lips and the bright look in the eyes. I don’t know what
Harry has been saying to you, but he has certainly made you have the most
wonderful expression. I suppose he has been paying you compliments. You mustn’t
believe a word that he says.”
“He has
certainly not been paying me compliments. Perhaps that is the reason that I
don’t believe anything he has told me.”
“You know
you believe it all,” said Lord Henry, looking at him with his dreamy languorous
eyes. “I will go out to the garden with you. It is horribly hot in the studio.
Basil, let us have something iced to drink, something with strawberries in it.”
“Certainly,
Harry. Just touch the bell, and when Parker comes I will tell him what you
want. I have got to work up this background, so I will join you later on. Don’t
keep Dorian too long. I have never been in better form for painting than I am
to-day. This is going to be my masterpiece. It is my masterpiece as it stands.”
Lord Henry
went out to the garden and found Dorian Gray burying his face in the great cool
lilac-blossoms, feverishly drinking in their perfume as if it had been wine. He
came close to him and put his hand upon his shoulder. “You are quite right to
do that,” he murmured. “Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as
nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”
The lad
started and drew back. He was bareheaded, and the leaves had tossed his
rebellious curls and tangled all their gilded threads. There was a look of fear
in his eyes, such as people have when they are suddenly awakened. His finely chiselled
nostrils quivered, and some hidden nerve shook the scarlet of his lips and left
them trembling.
“Yes,”
continued Lord Henry, “that is one of the great secrets of life—to cure the
soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of the soul. You are a
wonderful creation. You know more than you think you know, just as you know
less than you want to know.”
Dorian Gray
frowned and turned his head away. He could not help liking the tall, graceful
young man who was standing by him. His romantic, olive-coloured face and worn
expression interested him. There was something in his low languid voice that
was absolutely fascinating. His cool, white, flower-like hands, even, had a
curious charm. They moved, as he spoke, like music, and seemed to have a language
of their own. But he felt afraid of him, and ashamed of being afraid. Why had
it been left for a stranger to reveal him to himself? He had known Basil
Hallward for months, but the friendship between them had never altered him.
Suddenly there had come some one across his life who seemed to have disclosed
to him life’s mystery. And, yet, what was there to be afraid of? He was not a
schoolboy or a girl. It was absurd to be frightened.
“Let us go
and sit in the shade,” said Lord Henry. “Parker has brought out the drinks, and
if you stay any longer in this glare, you will be quite spoiled, and Basil will
never paint you again. You really must not allow yourself to become sunburnt.
It would be unbecoming.”
“What can
it matter?” cried Dorian Gray, laughing, as he sat down on the seat at the end
of the garden.
“It should
matter everything to you, Mr. Gray.”
“Why?”
“Because
you have the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing worth having.”
“I don’t
feel that, Lord Henry.”
“No, you
don’t feel it now. Some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when
thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion branded your lips
with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you will feel it terribly. Now,
wherever you go, you charm the world. Will it always be so? . . . You have a
wonderfully beautiful face, Mr. Gray. Don’t frown. You have. And beauty is a
form of genius—is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It
is of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the reflection
in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned.
It has its divine right of sovereignty. It makes princes of those who have it.
You smile? Ah! when you have lost it you won’t smile. . . . People say
sometimes that beauty is only superficial. That may be so, but at least it is
not so superficial as thought is. To me, beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is
only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the
world is the visible, not the invisible. . . . Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have
been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take away. You have only
a few years in which to live really, perfectly, and fully. When your youth
goes, your beauty will go with it, and then you will suddenly discover that
there are no triumphs left for you, or have to content yourself with those mean
triumphs that the memory of your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every
month as it wanes brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of
you, and wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and
hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly. . . . Ah! realise your
youth while you have it. Don’t squander the gold of your days, listening to the
tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving away your life to
the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar. These are the sickly aims, the false
ideals, of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing
be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.
. . . A new Hedonism—that is what our century wants. You might be its visible
symbol. With your personality there is nothing you could not do. The world
belongs to you for a season. . . . The moment I met you I saw that you were
quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you really might be. There
was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about
yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted. For there is
such a little time that your youth will last—such a little time. The common
hill-flowers wither, but they blossom again. The laburnum will be as yellow
next June as it is now. In a month there will be purple stars on the clematis,
and year after year the green night of its leaves will hold its purple stars.
But we never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty
becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous
puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much
afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to.
Youth! Youth! There is absolutely nothing in the world but youth!”
Dorian Gray
listened, open-eyed and wondering. The spray of lilac fell from his hand upon
the gravel. A furry bee came and buzzed round it for a moment. Then it began to
scramble all over the oval stellated globe of the tiny blossoms. He watched it
with that strange interest in trivial things that we try to develop when things
of high import make us afraid, or when we are stirred by some new emotion for
which we cannot find expression, or when some thought that terrifies us lays
sudden siege to the brain and calls on us to yield. After a time the bee flew
away. He saw it creeping into the stained trumpet of a Tyrian convolvulus. The
flower seemed to quiver, and then swayed gently to and fro.
Suddenly
the painter appeared at the door of the studio and made staccato signs for them
to come in. They turned to each other and smiled.
“I am
waiting,” he cried. “Do come in. The light is quite perfect, and you can bring
your drinks.”
They rose
up and sauntered down the walk together. Two green-and-white butterflies
fluttered past them, and in the pear-tree at the corner of the garden a thrush
began to sing.
“You are
glad you have met me, Mr. Gray,” said Lord Henry, looking at him.
“Yes, I am
glad now. I wonder shall I always be glad?”
“Always!
That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond
of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last for ever. It is
a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a lifelong
passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.”
As they
entered the studio, Dorian Gray put his hand upon Lord Henry’s arm. “In that
case, let our friendship be a caprice,” he murmured, flushing at his own
boldness, then stepped up on the platform and resumed his pose.
Lord Henry
flung himself into a large wicker arm-chair and watched him. The sweep and dash
of the brush on the canvas made the only sound that broke the stillness, except
when, now and then, Hallward stepped back to look at his work from a distance.
In the slanting beams that streamed through the open doorway the dust danced
and was golden. The heavy scent of the roses seemed to brood over everything.
After about
a quarter of an hour Hallward stopped painting, looked for a long time at
Dorian Gray, and then for a long time at the picture, biting the end of one of
his huge brushes and frowning. “It is quite finished,” he cried at last, and
stooping down he wrote his name in long vermilion letters on the left-hand
corner of the canvas.
Lord Henry
came over and examined the picture. It was certainly a wonderful work of art,
and a wonderful likeness as well. “My dear fellow, I congratulate you most
warmly,” he said. “It is the finest portrait of modern times. Mr. Gray, come
over and look at yourself.”
The lad
started, as if awakened from some dream.
“Is it
really finished?” he murmured, stepping down from the platform.
“Quite
finished,” said the painter. “And you have sat splendidly to-day. I am awfully
obliged to you.”
“That is
entirely due to me,” broke in Lord Henry. “Isn’t it, Mr. Gray?”
Dorian made
no answer, but passed listlessly in front of his picture and turned towards it.
When he saw it he drew back, and his cheeks flushed for a moment with pleasure.
A look of joy came into his eyes, as if he had recognised himself for the first
time. He stood there motionless and in wonder, dimly conscious that Hallward
was speaking to him, but not catching the meaning of his words. The sense of
his own beauty came on him like a revelation. He had never felt it before.
Basil Hallward’s compliments had seemed to him to be merely the charming
exaggeration of friendship. He had listened to them, laughed at them, forgotten
them. They had not influenced his nature. Then had come Lord Henry Wotton with
his strange panegyric on youth, his terrible warning of its brevity. That had
stirred him at the time, and now, as he stood gazing at the shadow of his own
loveliness, the full reality of the description flashed across him. Yes, there
would be a day when his face would be wrinkled and wizen, his eyes dim and
colourless, the grace of his figure broken and deformed. The scarlet would pass
away from his lips and the gold steal from his hair. The life that was to make
his soul would mar his body. He would become dreadful, hideous, and uncouth.
As he
thought of it, a sharp pang of pain struck through him like a knife and made
each delicate fibre of his nature quiver. His eyes deepened into amethyst, and
across them came a mist of tears. He felt as if a hand of ice had been laid
upon his heart.
“Don’t you
like it?” cried Hallward at last, stung a little by the lad’s silence, not
understanding what it meant.
“Of course
he likes it,” said Lord Henry. “Who wouldn’t like it? It is one of the greatest
things in modern art. I will give you anything you like to ask for it. I must
have it.”
“It is not
my property, Harry.”
“Whose
property is it?”
“Dorian’s,
of course,” answered the painter.
“He is a
very lucky fellow.”
“How sad it
is!” murmured Dorian Gray with his eyes still fixed upon his own portrait. “How
sad it is! I shall grow old, and horrible, and dreadful. But this picture will
remain always young. It will never be older than this particular day of June. .
. . If it were only the other way! If it were I who was to be always young, and
the picture that was to grow old! For that—for that—I would give everything!
Yes, there is nothing in the whole world I would not give! I would give my soul
for that!”
“You would
hardly care for such an arrangement, Basil,” cried Lord Henry, laughing. “It
would be rather hard lines on your work.”
“I should
object very strongly, Harry,” said Hallward.
Dorian Gray
turned and looked at him. “I believe you would, Basil. You like your art better
than your friends. I am no more to you than a green bronze figure. Hardly as
much, I dare say.”
The painter
stared in amazement. It was so unlike Dorian to speak like that. What had happened?
He seemed quite angry. His face was flushed and his cheeks burning.
“Yes,” he
continued, “I am less to you than your ivory Hermes or your silver Faun. You
will like them always. How long will you like me? Till I have my first wrinkle,
I suppose. I know, now, that when one loses one’s good looks, whatever they may
be, one loses everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry Wotton is
perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am
growing old, I shall kill myself.”
Hallward
turned pale and caught his hand. “Dorian! Dorian!” he cried, “don’t talk like
that. I have never had such a friend as you, and I shall never have such
another. You are not jealous of material things, are you?—you who are finer
than any of them!”
“I am
jealous of everything whose beauty does not die. I am jealous of the portrait
you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must lose? Every moment that
passes takes something from me and gives something to it. Oh, if it were only
the other way! If the picture could change, and I could be always what I am
now! Why did you paint it? It will mock me some day—mock me horribly!” The hot
tears welled into his eyes; he tore his hand away and, flinging himself on the
divan, he buried his face in the cushions, as though he was praying.
“This is
your doing, Harry,” said the painter bitterly.
Lord Henry
shrugged his shoulders. “It is the real Dorian Gray—that is all.”
“It is
not.”
“If it is
not, what have I to do with it?”
“You should
have gone away when I asked you,” he muttered.
“I stayed
when you asked me,” was Lord Henry’s answer.
“Harry, I
can’t quarrel with my two best friends at once, but between you both you have
made me hate the finest piece of work I have ever done, and I will destroy it.
What is it but canvas and colour? I will not let it come across our three lives
and mar them.”
Dorian Gray
lifted his golden head from the pillow, and with pallid face and tear-stained
eyes, looked at him as he walked over to the deal painting-table that was set beneath
the high curtained window. What was he doing there? His fingers were straying
about among the litter of tin tubes and dry brushes, seeking for something.
Yes, it was for the long palette-knife, with its thin blade of lithe steel. He
had found it at last. He was going to rip up the canvas.
With a
stifled sob the lad leaped from the couch, and, rushing over to Hallward, tore
the knife out of his hand, and flung it to the end of the studio. “Don’t,
Basil, don’t!” he cried. “It would be murder!”
“I am glad
you appreciate my work at last, Dorian,” said the painter coldly when he had
recovered from his surprise. “I never thought you would.”
“Appreciate
it? I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself. I feel that.”
“Well, as
soon as you are dry, you shall be varnished, and framed, and sent home. Then
you can do what you like with yourself.” And he walked across the room and rang
the bell for tea. “You will have tea, of course, Dorian? And so will you,
Harry? Or do you object to such simple pleasures?”
“I adore
simple pleasures,” said Lord Henry. “They are the last refuge of the complex.
But I don’t like scenes, except on the stage. What absurd fellows you are, both
of you! I wonder who it was defined man as a rational animal. It was the most
premature definition ever given. Man is many things, but he is not rational. I
am glad he is not, after all—though I wish you chaps would not squabble over
the picture. You had much better let me have it, Basil. This silly boy doesn’t
really want it, and I really do.”
“If you let
any one have it but me, Basil, I shall never forgive you!” cried Dorian Gray;
“and I don’t allow people to call me a silly boy.”
“You know
the picture is yours, Dorian. I gave it to you before it existed.”
“And you
know you have been a little silly, Mr. Gray, and that you don’t really object
to being reminded that you are extremely young.”
“I should
have objected very strongly this morning, Lord Henry.”
“Ah! this
morning! You have lived since then.”
There came
a knock at the door, and the butler entered with a laden tea-tray and set it
down upon a small Japanese table. There was a rattle of cups and saucers and
the hissing of a fluted Georgian urn. Two globe-shaped china dishes were
brought in by a page. Dorian Gray went over and poured out the tea. The two men
sauntered languidly to the table and examined what was under the covers.
“Let us go
to the theatre to-night,” said Lord Henry. “There is sure to be something on,
somewhere. I have promised to dine at White’s, but it is only with an old
friend, so I can send him a wire to say that I am ill, or that I am prevented
from coming in consequence of a subsequent engagement. I think that would be a
rather nice excuse: it would have all the surprise of candour.”
“It is such
a bore putting on one’s dress-clothes,” muttered Hallward. “And, when one has
them on, they are so horrid.”
“Yes,”
answered Lord Henry dreamily, “the costume of the nineteenth century is
detestable. It is so sombre, so depressing. Sin is the only real colour-element
left in modern life.”
“You really
must not say things like that before Dorian, Harry.”
“Before
which Dorian? The one who is pouring out tea for us, or the one in the
picture?”
“Before
either.”
“I should
like to come to the theatre with you, Lord Henry,” said the lad.
“Then you
shall come; and you will come, too, Basil, won’t you?”
“I can’t,
really. I would sooner not. I have a lot of work to do.”
“Well,
then, you and I will go alone, Mr. Gray.”
“I should
like that awfully.”
The painter
bit his lip and walked over, cup in hand, to the picture. “I shall stay with
the real Dorian,” he said, sadly.
“Is it the
real Dorian?” cried the original of the portrait, strolling across to him. “Am
I really like that?”
“Yes; you
are just like that.”
“How
wonderful, Basil!”
“At least
you are like it in appearance. But it will never alter,” sighed Hallward. “That
is something.”
“What a
fuss people make about fidelity!” exclaimed Lord Henry. “Why, even in love it
is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will.
Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and
cannot: that is all one can say.”
“Don’t go
to the theatre to-night, Dorian,” said Hallward. “Stop and dine with me.”
“I can’t,
Basil.”
“Why?”
“Because I
have promised Lord Henry Wotton to go with him.”
“He won’t
like you the better for keeping your promises. He always breaks his own. I beg
you not to go.”
Dorian Gray
laughed and shook his head.
“I entreat
you.”
The lad
hesitated, and looked over at Lord Henry, who was watching them from the
tea-table with an amused smile.
“I must go,
Basil,” he answered.
“Very
well,” said Hallward, and he went over and laid down his cup on the tray. “It
is rather late, and, as you have to dress, you had better lose no time.
Good-bye, Harry. Good-bye, Dorian. Come
and see me
soon. Come to-morrow.”
“Certainly.”
“You won’t
forget?”
“No, of
course not,” cried Dorian.
“And . . .
Harry!”
“Yes,
Basil?”
“Remember
what I asked you, when we were in the garden this morning.”
“I have
forgotten it.”
“I trust
you.”
“I wish I
could trust myself,” said Lord Henry, laughing. “Come, Mr. Gray, my hansom is
outside, and I can drop you at your own place. Good-bye, Basil. It has been a
most interesting afternoon.”
As the door
closed behind them, the painter flung himself down on a sofa, and a look of
pain came into his face.
Chapter 3
At
half-past twelve next day Lord Henry Wotton strolled from Curzon Street over to
the Albany to call on his uncle, Lord Fermor, a genial if somewhat
rough-mannered old bachelor, whom the outside world called selfish because it
derived no particular benefit from him, but who was considered generous by
Society as he fed the people who amused him. His father had been our ambassador
at Madrid when Isabella was young and Prim unthought of, but had retired from
the Diplomatic Service in a capricious moment of annoyance on not being offered
the Embassy at Paris, a post to which he considered that he was fully entitled
by reason of his birth, his indolence, the good English of his dispatches, and
his inordinate passion for pleasure. The son, who had been his father’s
secretary, had resigned along with his chief, somewhat foolishly as was thought
at the time, and on succeeding some months later to the title, had set himself
to the serious study of the great aristocratic art of doing absolutely nothing.
He had two large town houses, but preferred to live in chambers as it was less
trouble, and took most of his meals at his club. He paid some attention to the
management of his collieries in the Midland counties, excusing himself for this
taint of industry on the ground that the one advantage of having coal was that
it enabled a gentleman to afford the decency of burning wood on his own hearth.
In politics he was a Tory, except when the Tories were in office, during which
period he roundly abused them for being a pack of Radicals. He was a hero to
his valet, who bullied him, and a terror to most of his relations, whom he
bullied in turn. Only England could have produced him, and he always said that
the country was going to the dogs. His principles were out of date, but there
was a good deal to be said for his prejudices.
When Lord
Henry entered the room, he found his uncle sitting in a rough shooting-coat,
smoking a cheroot and grumbling over The Times . “Well, Harry,” said the old
gentleman, “what brings you out so early? I thought you dandies never got up
till two, and were not visible till five.”
“Pure
family affection, I assure you, Uncle George. I want to get something out of
you.”
“Money, I
suppose,” said Lord Fermor, making a wry face. “Well, sit down and tell me all
about it. Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.”
“Yes,”
murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; “and when they grow
older they know it. But I don’t want money. It is only people who pay their
bills who want that, Uncle George, and I never pay mine. Credit is the capital
of a younger son, and one lives charmingly upon it. Besides, I always deal with
Dartmoor’s tradesmen, and consequently they never bother me. What I want is
information: not useful information, of course; useless information.”
“Well, I
can tell you anything that is in an English Blue Book, Harry, although those
fellows nowadays write a lot of nonsense. When I was in the Diplomatic, things
were much better. But I hear they let them in now by examination. What can you
expect? Examinations, sir, are pure humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a
gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows
is bad for him.”
“Mr. Dorian
Gray does not belong to Blue-books, Uncle George,” said Lord Henry languidly.
“Mr. Dorian
Gray? Who is he?” asked Lord Fermor, knitting his bushy white eyebrows.
“That is
what I have come to learn, Uncle George. Or rather, I know who he is. He is the
last Lord Kelso’s grandson. His mother was a Devereux, Lady Margaret Devereaux.
I want you to tell me about his mother. What was she like? Whom did she marry?
You have known nearly everybody in your time, so you might have known her. I am
very much interested in Mr. Gray at present. I have only just met him.”
“Kelso’s
grandson!” echoed the old gentleman. “Kelso’s grandson! . . . Of course. . . .
I knew his mother intimately. I believe I was at her christening. She was an
extraordinarily beautiful girl, Margaret Devereux, and made all the men frantic
by running away with a penniless young fellow—a mere nobody, sir, a subaltern
in a foot regiment, or something of that kind. Certainly. I remember the whole
thing as if it happened yesterday. The poor chap was killed in a duel at Spa a
few months after the marriage. There was an ugly story about it. They said
Kelso got some rascally adventurer, some Belgian brute, to insult his
son-in-law in public—paid him, sir, to do it, paid him—and that the fellow
spitted his man as if he had been a pigeon. The thing was hushed up, but, egad,
Kelso ate his chop alone at the club for some time afterwards. He brought his
daughter back with him, I was told, and she never spoke to him again. Oh, yes;
it was a bad business. The girl died, too, died within a year. So she left a
son, did she? I had forgotten that. What sort of boy is he? If he is like his
mother, he must be a good-looking chap.”
“He is very
good-looking,” assented Lord Henry.
“I hope he
will fall into proper hands,” continued the old man. “He should have a pot of
money waiting for him if Kelso did the right thing by him. His mother had
money, too. All the Selby property came to her, through her grandfather. Her
grandfather hated Kelso, thought him a mean dog. He was, too. Came to Madrid
once when I was there. Egad, I was ashamed of him. The Queen used to ask me
about the English noble who was always quarrelling with the cabmen about their
fares. They made quite a story of it. I didn’t dare show my face at Court for a
month. I hope he treated his grandson better than he did the jarvies.”
“I don’t
know,” answered Lord Henry. “I fancy that the boy will be well off. He is not
of age yet. He has Selby, I know. He told me so. And . . . his mother was very
beautiful?”
“Margaret
Devereux was one of the loveliest creatures I ever saw, Harry. What on earth
induced her to behave as she did, I never could understand. She could have
married anybody she chose. Carlington was mad after her. She was romantic,
though. All the women of that family were. The men were a poor lot, but, egad!
the women were wonderful. Carlington went on his knees to her. Told me so
himself. She laughed at him, and there wasn’t a girl in London at the time who
wasn’t after him. And by the way, Harry, talking about silly marriages, what is
this humbug your father tells me about Dartmoor wanting to marry an American?
Ain’t English girls good enough for him?”
“It is
rather fashionable to marry Americans just now, Uncle George.”
“I’ll back
English women against the world, Harry,” said Lord Fermor, striking the table
with his fist.
“The
betting is on the Americans.”
“They don’t
last, I am told,” muttered his uncle.
“A long
engagement exhausts them, but they are capital at a steeplechase. They take
things flying. I don’t think Dartmoor has a chance.”
“Who are
her people?” grumbled the old gentleman. “Has she got any?”
Lord Henry
shook his head. “American girls are as clever at concealing their parents, as
English women are at concealing their past,” he said, rising to go.
“They are
pork-packers, I suppose?”
“I hope so,
Uncle George, for Dartmoor’s sake. I am told that pork-packing is the most
lucrative profession in America, after politics.”
“Is she
pretty?”
“She
behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of
their charm.”
“Why can’t
these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that
it is the paradise for women.”
“It is.
That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of
it,” said Lord Henry. “Good-bye, Uncle George. I shall be late for lunch, if I
stop any longer. Thanks for giving me the information I wanted. I always like
to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.”
“Where are
you lunching, Harry?”
“At Aunt
Agatha’s. I have asked myself and Mr. Gray. He is her latest prot “Humph! tell
your Aunt Agatha, Harry, not to bother me any more with her charity appeals. I
am sick of them. Why, the good woman thinks that I have nothing to do but to
write cheques for her silly fads.”
“All right,
Uncle George, I’ll tell her, but it won’t have any effect. Philanthropic people
lose all sense of humanity. It is their distinguishing characteristic.”
The old
gentleman growled approvingly and rang the bell for his servant. Lord Henry
passed up the low arcade into Burlington Street and turned his steps in the
direction of Berkeley Square.
So that was
the story of Dorian Gray’s parentage. Crudely as it had been told to him, it
had yet stirred him by its suggestion of a strange, almost modern romance. A
beautiful woman risking everything for a mad passion. A few wild weeks of
happiness cut short by a hideous, treacherous crime. Months of voiceless agony,
and then a child born in pain. The mother snatched away by death, the boy left
to solitude and the tyranny of an old and loveless man. Yes; it was an
interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect, as it were.
Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic. Worlds
had to be in travail, that the meanest flower might blow. . . . And how
charming he had been at dinner the night before, as with startled eyes and lips
parted in frightened pleasure he had sat opposite to him at the club, the red
candleshades staining to a richer rose the wakening wonder of his face. Talking
to him was like playing upon an exquisite violin. He answered to every touch
and thrill of the bow. . . . There was something terribly enthralling in the
exercise of influence. No other activity was like it. To project one’s soul
into some gracious form, and let it tarry there for a moment; to hear one’s own
intellectual views echoed back to one with all the added music of passion and
youth; to convey one’s temperament into another as though it were a subtle
fluid or a strange perfume: there was a real joy in that—perhaps the most
satisfying joy left to us in an age so limited and vulgar as our own, an age
grossly carnal in its pleasures, and grossly common in its aims. . . . He was a
marvellous type, too, this lad, whom by so curious a chance he had met in
Basil’s studio, or could be fashioned into a marvellous type, at any rate.
Grace was his, and the white purity of boyhood, and beauty such as old Greek
marbles kept for us. There was nothing that one could not do with him. He could
be made a Titan or a toy. What a pity it was that such beauty was destined to
fade! . . . And Basil? From a psychological point of view, how interesting he
was! The new manner in art, the fresh mode of looking at life, suggested so
strangely by the merely visible presence of one who was unconscious of it all;
the silent spirit that dwelt in dim woodland, and walked unseen in open field,
suddenly showing herself, Dryad-like and not afraid, because in his soul who
sought for her there had been wakened that wonderful vision to which alone are
wonderful things revealed; the mere shapes and patterns of things becoming, as
it were, refined, and gaining a kind of symbolical value, as though they were
themselves patterns of some other and more perfect form whose shadow they made
real: how strange it all was! He remembered something like it in history. Was
it not Plato, that artist in thought, who had first analysed it? Was it not
Buonarotti who had carved it in the coloured marbles of a sonnet-sequence? But
in our own century it was strange. . . . Yes; he would try to be to Dorian Gray
what, without knowing it, the lad was to the painter who had fashioned the
wonderful portrait. He would seek to dominate him—had already, indeed, half
done so. He would make that wonderful spirit his own. There was something
fascinating in this son of Love and Death.
Suddenly he
stopped and glanced up at the houses. He found that he had passed his aunt’s
some distance, and, smiling to himself, turned back. When he entered the
somewhat sombre hall, the butler told him that they had gone in to lunch. He
gave one of the footmen his hat and stick and passed into the dining-room.
“Late as
usual, Harry,” cried his aunt, shaking her head at him.
He invented
a facile excuse, and having taken the vacant seat next to her, looked round to
see who was there. Dorian bowed to him shyly from the end of the table, a flush
of pleasure stealing into his cheek. Opposite was the Duchess of Harley, a lady
of admirable good-nature and good temper, much liked by every one who knew her,
and of those ample architectural proportions that in women who are not
duchesses are described by contemporary historians as stoutness. Next to her
sat, on her right, Sir Thomas Burdon, a Radical member of Parliament, who
followed his leader in public life and in private life followed the best cooks,
dining with the Tories and thinking with the Liberals, in accordance with a
wise and well-known rule. The post on her left was occupied by Mr. Erskine of
Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had fallen,
however, into bad habits of silence, having, as he explained once to Lady
Agatha, said everything that he had to say before he was thirty. His own
neighbour was Mrs. Vandeleur, one of his aunt’s oldest friends, a perfect saint
amongst women, but so dreadfully dowdy that she reminded one of a badly bound
hymn-book. Fortunately for him she had on the other side Lord Faudel, a most
intelligent middle-aged mediocrity, as bald as a ministerial statement in the
House of Commons, with whom she was conversing in that intensely earnest manner
which is the one unpardonable error, as he remarked once himself, that all
really good people fall into, and from which none of them ever quite escape.
“We are
talking about poor Dartmoor, Lord Henry,” cried the duchess, nodding pleasantly
to him across the table. “Do you think he will really marry this fascinating
young person?”
“I believe
she has made up her mind to propose to him, Duchess.”
“How
dreadful!” exclaimed Lady Agatha. “Really, some one should interfere.”
“I am told,
on excellent authority, that her father keeps an American dry-goods store,”
said Sir Thomas Burdon, looking supercilious.
“My uncle
has already suggested pork-packing Sir Thomas.”
“Dry-goods!
What are American dry-goods?” asked the duchess, raising her large hands in
wonder and accentuating the verb.
“American
novels,” answered Lord Henry, helping himself to some quail.
The duchess
looked puzzled.
“Don’t mind
him, my dear,” whispered Lady Agatha. “He never means anything that he says.”
“When
America was discovered,” said the Radical member—and he began to give some
wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a subject, he exhausted his
listeners. The duchess sighed and exercised her privilege of interruption. “I
wish to goodness it never had been discovered at all!” she exclaimed. “Really,
our girls have no chance nowadays. It is most unfair.”
“Perhaps,
after all, America never has been discovered,” said Mr. Erskine; “I myself
would say that it had merely been detected.”
“Oh! but I
have seen specimens of the inhabitants,” answered the duchess vaguely. “I must
confess that most of them are extremely pretty. And they dress well, too. They
get all their dresses in Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same.”
“They say
that when good Americans die they go to Paris,” chuckled Sir Thomas, who had a
large wardrobe of Humour’s cast-off clothes.
“Really!
And where do bad Americans go to when they die?” inquired the duchess.
“They go to
America,” murmured Lord Henry.
Sir Thomas
frowned. “I am afraid that your nephew is prejudiced against that great
country,” he said to Lady Agatha. “I have travelled all over it in cars
provided by the directors, who, in such matters, are extremely civil. I assure
you that it is an education to visit it.”
“But must
we really see Chicago in order to be educated?” asked Mr. Erskine plaintively.
“I don’t feel up to the journey.”
Sir Thomas
waved his hand. “Mr. Erskine of Treadley has the world on his shelves. We
practical men like to see things, not to read about them. The Americans are an
extremely interesting people. They are absolutely reasonable. I think that is
their distinguishing characteristic. Yes, Mr. Erskine, an absolutely reasonable
people. I assure you there is no nonsense about the Americans.”
“How
dreadful!” cried Lord Henry. “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is
quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below
the intellect.”
“I do not
understand you,” said Sir Thomas, growing rather red.
“I do, Lord
Henry,” murmured Mr. Erskine, with a smile.
“Paradoxes
are all very well in their way. . .” rejoined the baronet.
“Was that a
paradox?” asked Mr. Erskine. “I did not think so. Perhaps it was. Well, the way
of paradoxes is the way of truth. To test reality we must see it on the tight
rope. When the verities become acrobats, we can judge them.”
“Dear me!”
said Lady Agatha, “how you men argue! I am sure I never can make out what you
are talking about. Oh! Harry, I am quite vexed with you. Why do you try to
persuade our nice Mr. Dorian Gray to give up the East End? I assure you he
would be quite invaluable. They would love his playing.”
“I want him
to play to me,” cried Lord Henry, smiling, and he looked down the table and
caught a bright answering glance.
“But they
are so unhappy in Whitechapel,” continued Lady Agatha.
“I can
sympathise with everything except suffering,” said Lord Henry, shrugging his
shoulders. “I cannot sympathise with that. It is too ugly, too horrible, too
distressing. There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with
pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The
less said about life’s sores, the better.”
“Still, the
East End is a very important problem,” remarked Sir Thomas with a grave shake
of the head.
“Quite so,”
answered the young lord. “It is the problem of slavery, and we try to solve it
by amusing the slaves.”
The
politician looked at him keenly. “What change do you propose, then?” he asked.
Lord Henry
laughed. “I don’t desire to change anything in England except the weather,” he
answered. “I am quite content with philosophic contemplation. But, as the
nineteenth century has gone bankrupt through an over-expenditure of sympathy, I
would suggest that we should appeal to science to put us straight. The
advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of
science is that it is not emotional.”
“But we
have such grave responsibilities,” ventured Mrs. Vandeleur timidly.
“Terribly
grave,” echoed Lady Agatha.
Lord Henry
looked over at Mr. Erskine. “Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the
world’s original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, history would have
been different.”
“You are
really very comforting,” warbled the duchess. “I have always felt rather guilty
when I came to see your dear aunt, for I take no interest at all in the East
End. For the future I shall be able to look her in the face without a blush.”
“A blush is
very becoming, Duchess,” remarked Lord Henry.
“Only when
one is young,” she answered. “When an old woman like myself blushes, it is a
very bad sign. Ah! Lord Henry, I wish you would tell me how to become young
again.”
He thought
for a moment. “Can you remember any great error that you committed in your
early days, Duchess?” he asked, looking at her across the table.
“A great
many, I fear,” she cried.
“Then
commit them over again,” he said gravely. “To get back one’s youth, one has
merely to repeat one’s follies.”
“A
delightful theory!” she exclaimed. “I must put it into practice.”
“A
dangerous theory!” came from Sir Thomas’s tight lips. Lady Agatha shook her
head, but could not help being amused. Mr. Erskine listened.
“Yes,” he
continued, “that is one of the great secrets of life. Nowadays most people die
of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the
only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.”
A laugh ran
round the table.
He played
with the idea and grew wilful; tossed it into the air and transformed it; let
it escape and recaptured it; made it iridescent with fancy and winged it with
paradox. The praise of folly, as he went on, soared into a philosophy, and
philosophy herself became young, and catching the mad music of pleasure,
wearing, one might fancy, her wine-stained robe and wreath of ivy, danced like
a Bacchante over the hills of life, and mocked the slow Silenus for being
sober. Facts fled before her like frightened forest things. Her white feet trod
the huge press at which wise Omar sits, till the seething grape-juice rose
round her bare limbs in waves of purple bubbles, or crawled in red foam over
the vat’s black, dripping, sloping sides. It was an extraordinary
improvisation. He felt that the eyes of Dorian Gray were fixed on him, and the
consciousness that amongst his audience there was one whose temperament he
wished to fascinate seemed to give his wit keenness and to lend colour to his
imagination. He was brilliant, fantastic, irresponsible. He charmed his
listeners out of themselves, and they followed his pipe, laughing. Dorian Gray
never took his gaze off him, but sat like one under a spell, smiles chasing
each other over his lips and wonder growing grave in his darkening eyes.
At last,
liveried in the costume of the age, reality entered the room in the shape of a
servant to tell the duchess that her carriage was waiting. She wrung her hands
in mock despair. “How annoying!” she cried. “I must go. I have to call for my
husband at the club, to take him to some absurd meeting at Willis’s Rooms,
where he is going to be in the chair. If I am late he is sure to be furious,
and I couldn’t have a scene in this bonnet. It is far too fragile. A harsh word
would ruin it. No, I must go, dear Agatha. Good-bye, Lord Henry, you are quite
delightful and dreadfully demoralising. I am sure I don’t know what to say
about your views. You must come and dine with us some night. Tuesday? Are you
disengaged Tuesday?”
“For you I
would throw over anybody, Duchess,” said Lord Henry with a bow.
“Ah! that
is very nice, and very wrong of you,” she cried; “so mind you come”; and she
swept out of the room, followed by Lady Agatha and the other ladies. When Lord
Henry had sat down again, Mr. Erskine moved round, and taking a chair close to
him, placed his hand upon his arm.
“You talk
books away,” he said; “why don’t you write one?”
“I am too
fond of reading books to care to write them, Mr. Erskine. I should like to
write a novel certainly, a novel that would be as lovely as a Persian carpet
and as unreal. But there is no literary public in England for anything except
newspapers, primers, and encyclopaedias. Of all people in the world the English
have the least sense of the beauty of literature.”
“I fear you
are right,” answered Mr. Erskine. “I myself used to have literary ambitions,
but I gave them up long ago. And now, my dear young friend, if you will allow
me to call you so, may I ask if you really meant all that you said to us at
lunch?”
“I quite
forget what I said,” smiled Lord Henry. “Was it all very bad?”
“Very bad
indeed. In fact I consider you extremely dangerous, and if anything happens to
our good duchess, we shall all look on you as being primarily responsible. But
I should like to talk to you about life. The generation into which I was born
was tedious. Some day, when you are tired of London, come down to Treadley and
expound to me your philosophy of pleasure over some admirable Burgundy I am
fortunate enough to possess.”
“I shall be
charmed. A visit to Treadley would be a great privilege. It has a perfect host,
and a perfect library.”
“You will
complete it,” answered the old gentleman with a courteous bow. “And now I must
bid good-bye to your excellent aunt. I am due at the Athenaeum. It is the hour
when we sleep there.”
“All of
you, Mr. Erskine?”
“Forty of
us, in forty arm-chairs. We are practising for an English Academy of Letters.”
Lord Henry
laughed and rose. “I am going to the park,” he cried.
As he was
passing out of the door, Dorian Gray touched him on the arm. “Let me come with
you,” he murmured.
“But I
thought you had promised Basil Hallward to go and see him,” answered Lord
Henry.
“I would
sooner come with you; yes, I feel I must come with you. Do let me. And you will
promise to talk to me all the time? No one talks so wonderfully as you do.”
“Ah! I have
talked quite enough for to-day,” said Lord Henry, smiling. “All I want now is
to look at life. You may come and look at it with me, if you care to.”
Chapter 4
One
afternoon, a month later, Dorian Gray was reclining in a luxurious arm-chair,
in the little library of Lord Henry’s house in Mayfair. It was, in its way, a
very charming room, with its high panelled wainscoting of olive-stained oak,
its cream-coloured frieze and ceiling of raised plasterwork, and its brick-dust
felt carpet strewn with silk, long-fringed Persian rugs. On a tiny satinwood
table stood a statuette by Clodion, and beside it lay a copy of Les Cent
Nouvelles , bound for Margaret of Valois by Clovis Eve and powdered with the
gilt daisies that Queen had selected for her device. Some large blue china jars
and parrot-tulips were ranged on the mantelshelf, and through the small leaded
panes of the window streamed the apricot-coloured light of a summer day in
London.
Lord Henry
had not yet come in. He was always late on principle, his principle being that
punctuality is the thief of time. So the lad was looking rather sulky, as with
listless fingers he turned over the pages of an elaborately illustrated edition
of Manon Lescaut that he had found in one of the book-cases. The formal
monotonous ticking of the Louis Quatorze clock annoyed him. Once or twice he
thought of going away.
At last he
heard a step outside, and the door opened. “How late you are, Harry!” he
murmured.
“I am
afraid it is not Harry, Mr. Gray,” answered a shrill voice.
He glanced
quickly round and rose to his feet. “I beg your pardon. I thought—”
“You
thought it was my husband. It is only his wife. You must let me introduce
myself. I know you quite well by your
photographs.
I think my husband has got seventeen of them.”
“Not
seventeen, Lady Henry?”
“Well,
eighteen, then. And I saw you with him the other night at the opera.” She
laughed nervously as she spoke, and watched him with her vague forget-me-not
eyes. She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been
designed in a rage and put on in a tempest. She was usually in love with
somebody, and, as her passion was never returned, she had kept all her
illusions. She tried to look picturesque, but only succeeded in being untidy.
Her name was Victoria, and she had a perfect mania for going to church.
“That was
at Lohengrin , Lady Henry, I think?”
“Yes; it
was at dear Lohengrin . I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s. It is so
loud that one can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one
says. That is a great advantage, don’t you think so, Mr. Gray?”
The same
nervous staccato laugh broke from her thin lips, and her fingers began to play
with a long tortoise-shell paper-knife.
Dorian
smiled and shook his head: “I am afraid I don’t think so, Lady Henry. I never
talk during music—at least, during good music. If one hears bad music, it is
one’s duty to drown it in conversation.”
“Ah! that
is one of Harry’s views, isn’t it, Mr. Gray? I always hear Harry’s views from
his friends. It is the only way I get to know of them. But you must not think I
don’t like good music. I adore it, but I am afraid of it. It makes me too
romantic. I have simply worshipped pianists—two at a time, sometimes, Harry
tells me. I don’t know what it is about them. Perhaps it is that they are
foreigners. They all are, ain’t they? Even those that are born in England
become foreigners after a time, don’t they? It is so clever of them, and such a
compliment to art. Makes it quite cosmopolitan, doesn’t it? You have never been
to any of my parties, have you, Mr. Gray? You must come. I can’t afford
orchids, but I share no expense in foreigners. They make one’s rooms look so
picturesque. But here is Harry! Harry, I came in to look for you, to ask you
something—I forget what it was—and I found Mr. Gray here. We have had such a
pleasant chat about music. We have quite the same ideas. No; I think our ideas
are quite different. But he has been most pleasant. I am so glad I’ve seen
him.”
“I am
charmed, my love, quite charmed,” said Lord Henry, elevating his dark,
crescent-shaped eyebrows and looking at them both with an amused smile. “So
sorry I am late, Dorian. I went to look after a piece of old brocade in Wardour
Street and had to bargain for hours for it. Nowadays people know the price of
everything and the value of nothing.”
“I am
afraid I must be going,” exclaimed Lady Henry, breaking an awkward silence with
her silly sudden laugh. “I have promised to drive with the duchess. Good-bye,
Mr. Gray. Good-bye, Harry. You are dining out, I suppose? So am I. Perhaps I
shall see you at Lady Thornbury’s.”
“I dare
say, my dear,” said Lord Henry, shutting the door behind her as, looking like a
bird of paradise that had been out all night in the rain, she flitted out of
the room, leaving a faint odour of frangipanni. Then he lit a cigarette and
flung himself down on the sofa.
“Never
marry a woman with straw-coloured hair, Dorian,” he said after a few puffs.
“Why,
Harry?”
“Because
they are so sentimental.”
“But I like
sentimental people.”
“Never
marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are
curious: both are disappointed.”
“I don’t
think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am too much in love. That is one of your
aphorisms. I am putting it into practice, as I do everything that you say.”
“Who are
you in love with?” asked Lord Henry after a pause.
“With an
actress,” said Dorian Gray, blushing.
Lord Henry
shrugged his shoulders. “That is a rather commonplace d “You would not say so
if you saw her, Harry.”
“Who is
she?”
“Her name
is Sibyl Vane.”
“Never
heard of her.”
“No one
has. People will some day, however. She is a genius.”
“My dear
boy, no woman is a genius. Women are a decorative sex. They never have anything
to say, but they say it charmingly. Women represent the triumph of matter over mind,
just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals.”
“Harry, how
can you?”
“My dear
Dorian, it is quite true. I am analysing women at present, so I ought to know.
The subject is not so abstruse as I thought it was. I find that, ultimately,
there are only two kinds of women, the plain and the coloured. The plain women
are very useful. If you want to gain a reputation for respectability, you have
merely to take them down to supper. The other women are very charming. They
commit one mistake, however. They paint in order to try and look young. Our
grandmothers painted in order to try and talk brilliantly. Rouge and esprit
used to go together. That is all over now. As long as a woman can look ten
years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. As for
conversation, there are only five women in London worth talking to, and two of
these can’t be admitted into decent society. However, tell me about your
genius. How long have you known her?”
“Ah! Harry,
your views terrify me.
“Never mind
that. How long have you known her?”
“About
three weeks.”
“And where
did you come across her?”
“I will
tell you, Harry, but you mustn’t be unsympathetic about it. After all, it never
would have happened if I had not met you. You filled me with a wild desire to know
everything about life. For days after I met you, something seemed to throb in
my veins. As I lounged in the park, or strolled down Piccadilly, I used to look
at every one who passed me and wonder, with a mad curiosity, what sort of lives
they led. Some of them fascinated me. Others filled me with terror. There was
an exquisite poison in the air. I had a passion for sensations. . . . Well, one
evening about seven o’clock, I determined to go out in search of some
adventure. I felt that this grey monstrous London of ours, with its myriads of
people, its sordid sinners, and its splendid sins, as you once phrased it, must
have something in store for me. I fancied a thousand things. The mere danger
gave me a sense of delight. I remembered what you had said to me on that
wonderful evening when we first dined together, about the search for beauty
being the real secret of life. I don’t know what I expected, but I went out and
wandered eastward, soon losing my way in a labyrinth of grimy streets and black
grassless squares. About half-past eight I passed by an absurd little theatre,
with great flaring gas-jets and gaudy play-bills. A hideous Jew, in the most
amazing waistcoat I ever beheld in my life, was standing at the entrance,
smoking a vile cigar. He had greasy ringlets, and an enormous diamond blazed in
the centre of a soiled shirt. ‘Have a box, my Lord?’ he said, when he saw me,
and he took off his hat with an air of gorgeous servility. There was something
about him, Harry, that amused me. He was such a monster. You will laugh at me,
I know, but I really went in and paid a whole guinea for the stage-box. To the
present day I can’t make out why I did so; and yet if I hadn’t—my dear Harry,
if I hadn’t—I should have missed the greatest romance of my life. I see you are
laughing. It is horrid of you!”
“I am not
laughing, Dorian; at least I am not laughing at you. But you should not say the
greatest romance of your life. You should say the first romance of your life.
You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love. A grande
passion is the privilege of people who have nothing to do. That is the one use
of the idle classes of a country. Don’t be afraid. There are exquisite things
in store for you. This is merely the beginning.”
“Do you
think my nature so shallow?” cried Dorian Gray angrily.
“No; I
think your nature so deep.”
“How do you
mean?”
“My dear
boy, the people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow
people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy
of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life
what consistency is to the life of the intellect—simply a confession of
failure. Faithfulness! I must analyse it some day. The passion for property is
in it. There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid
that others might pick them up. But I don’t want to interrupt you. Go on with
your story.”
“Well, I
found myself seated in a horrid little private box, with a vulgar drop-scene
staring me in the face. I looked out from behind the curtain and surveyed the
house. It was a tawdry affair, all Cupids and cornucopias, like a third-rate
wedding-cake. The gallery and pit were fairly full, but the two rows of dingy
stalls were quite empty, and there was hardly a person in what I suppose they
called the dress-circle. Women went about with oranges and ginger-beer, and
there was a terrible consumption of nuts going on.”
“It must
have been just like the palmy days of the British drama.”
“Just like,
I should fancy, and very depressing. I began to wonder what on earth I should
do when I caught sight of the play-bill. What do you think the play was,
Harry?”
“I should
think The Idiot Boy , or Dumb but Innocent . Our fathers used to like that sort
of piece, I believe. The longer I live, Dorian, the more keenly I feel that
whatever was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for us. In art, as
in politics, les grandp “This play was good enough for us, Harry. It was Romeo
and Juliet . I must admit that I was rather annoyed at the idea of seeing
Shakespeare done in such a wretched hole of a place. Still, I felt interested,
in a sort of way. At any rate, I determined to wait for the first act. There
was a dreadful orchestra, presided over by a young Hebrew who sat at a cracked
piano, that nearly drove me away, but at last the drop-scene was drawn up and
the play began. Romeo was a stout elderly gentleman, with corked eyebrows, a
husky tragedy voice, and a figure like a beer-barrel. Mercutio was almost as
bad. He was played by the low-comedian, who had introduced gags of his own and
was on most friendly terms with the pit. They were both as grotesque as the
scenery, and that looked as if it had come out of a country-booth. But Juliet!
Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a little, flowerlike
face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of dark-brown hair, eyes that were
violet wells of passion, lips that were like the petals of a rose. She was the
loveliest thing I had ever seen in my life. You said to me once that pathos
left you unmoved, but that beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with
tears. I tell you, Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears
that came across me. And her voice—I never heard such a voice. It was very low
at first, with deep mellow notes that seemed to fall singly upon one’s ear.
Then it became a little louder, and sounded like a flute or a distant hautbois.
In the garden-scene it had all the tremulous ecstasy that one hears just before
dawn when nightingales are singing. There were moments, later on, when it had
the wild passion of violins. You know how a voice can stir one. Your voice and
the voice of Sibyl Vane are two things that I shall never forget. When I close
my eyes, I hear them, and each of them says something different. I don’t know
which to follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is
everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One evening
she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have seen her die in the
gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from her lover’s lips. I have
watched her wandering through the forest of Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in
hose and doublet and dainty cap. She has been mad, and has come into the
presence of a guilty king, and given him rue to wear and bitter herbs to taste
of. She has been innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her
reed-like throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary
women never appeal to one’s imagination. They are limited to their century. No
glamour ever transfigures them. One knows their minds as easily as one knows
their bonnets. One can always find them. There is no mystery in any of them.
They ride in the park in the morning and chatter at tea-parties in the
afternoon. They have their stereotyped smile and their fashionable manner. They
are quite obvious. But an actress! How different an actress is! Harry! why
didn’t you tell me that the only thing worth loving is an actress?”
“Because I
have loved so many of them, Dorian.”
“Oh, yes,
horrid people with dyed hair and painted faces.”
“Don’t run
down dyed hair and painted faces. There is an extraordinary charm in them,
sometimes,” said Lord Henry.
“I wish now
I had not told you about Sibyl Vane.”
“You could
not have helped telling me, Dorian. All through your life you will tell me
everything you do.”
“Yes,
Harry, I believe that is true. I cannot help telling you things. You have a
curious influence over me. If I ever did a crime, I would come and confess it
to you. You would understand me.”
“People
like you—the wilful sunbeams of life—don’t commit crimes, Dorian. But I am much
obliged for the compliment, all the same. And now tell me—reach me the matches,
like a good boy—thanks—what are your actual relations with Sibyl Vane?”
Dorian Gray
leaped to his feet, with flushed cheeks and burning eyes. “Harry! Sibyl Vane is
sacred!”
“It is only
the sacred things that are worth touching, Dorian,” said Lord Henry, with a
strange touch of pathos in his voice. “But why should you be annoyed? I suppose
she will belong to you some day. When one is in love, one always begins by
deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the
world calls a romance. You know her, at any rate, I suppose?”
“Of course
I know her. On the first night I was at the theatre, the horrid old Jew came
round to the box after the performance was over and offered to take me behind
the scenes and introduce me to her. I was furious with him, and told him that
Juliet had been dead for hundreds of years and that her body was lying in a
marble tomb in Verona. I think, from his blank look of amazement, that he was
under the impression that I had taken too much champagne, or something.”
“I am not
surprised.”
“Then he
asked me if I wrote for any of the newspapers. I told him I never even read
them. He seemed terribly disappointed at that, and confided to me that all the
dramatic critics were in a conspiracy against him, and that they were every one
of them to be bought.”
“I should
not wonder if he was quite right there. But, on the other hand, judging from
their appearance, most of them cannot be at all expensive.”
“Well, he
seemed to think they were beyond his means,” laughed Dorian. “By this time,
however, the lights were being put out in the theatre, and I had to go. He
wanted me to try some cigars that he strongly recommended. I declined. The next
night, of course, I arrived at the place again. When he saw me, he made me a
low bow and assured me that I was a munificent patron of art. He was a most
offensive brute, though he had an extraordinary passion for Shakespeare. He
told me once, with an air of pride, that his five bankruptcies were entirely
due to ‘The Bard,’ as he insisted on calling him. He seemed to think it a
distinction.”
“It was a
distinction, my dear Dorian—a great distinction. Most people become bankrupt
through having invested too heavily in the prose of life. To have ruined one’s
self over poetry is an honour. But when did you first speak to Miss Sibyl
Vane?”
“The third
night. She had been playing Rosalind. I could not help going round. I had
thrown her some flowers, and she had looked at me—at least I fancied that she
had. The old Jew was persistent. He seemed determined to take me behind, so I
consented. It was curious my not wanting to know her, wasn’t it?”
“No; I
don’t think so.”
“My dear
Harry, why?”
“I will tell
you some other time. Now I want to know about the girl.”
“Sibyl? Oh,
she was so shy and so gentle. There is something of a child about her. Her eyes
opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told her what I thought of her
performance, and she seemed quite unconscious of her power. I think we were
both rather nervous. The old Jew stood grinning at the doorway of the dusty
greenroom, making elaborate speeches about us both, while we stood looking at
each other like children. He would insist on calling me ‘My Lord,’ so I had to
assure Sibyl that I was not anything of the kind. She said quite simply to me,
‘You look more like a prince. I must call you Prince Charming.’”
“Upon my
word, Dorian, Miss Sibyl knows how to pay compliments.”
“You don’t
understand her, Harry. She regarded me merely as a person in a play. She knows
nothing of life. She lives with her mother, a faded tired woman who played Lady
Capulet in a sort of magenta dressing-wrapper on the first night, and looks as
if she had seen better days.”
“I know
that look. It depresses me,” murmured Lord Henry, examining his rings.
“The Jew
wanted to tell me her history, but I said it did not interest me.”
“You were
quite right. There is always something infinitely mean about other people’s
tragedies.”
“Sibyl is
the only thing I care about. What is it to me where she came from? From her
little head to her little feet, she is absolutely and entirely divine. Every
night of my life I go to see her act, and every night she is more marvellous.”
“That is
the reason, I suppose, that you never dine with me now. I thought you must have
some curious romance on hand. You have; but it is not quite what I expected.”
“My dear
Harry, we either lunch or sup together every day, and I have been to the opera
with you several times,” said Dorian, opening his blue eyes in wonder.
“You always
come dreadfully late.”
“Well, I
can’t help going to see Sibyl play,” he cried, “even if it is only for a single
act. I get hungry for her presence; and when I think of the wonderful soul that
is hidden away in that little ivory body, I am filled with awe.”
“You can
dine with me to-night, Dorian, can’t you?”
He shook
his head. “To-night she is Imogen,” he answered, “and to-morrow night she will
be Juliet.”
“When is
she Sibyl Vane?”
“Never.”
“I
congratulate you.”
“How horrid
you are! She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an
individual. You laugh, but I tell you she has genius. I love her, and I must
make her love me. You, who know all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm
Sibyl Vane to love me! I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of
the world to hear our laughter and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to
stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God,
Harry, how I worship her!” He was walking up and down the room as he spoke.
Hectic spots of red burned on his cheeks. He was terribly excited.
Lord Henry
watched him with a subtle sense of pleasure. How different he was now from the
shy frightened boy he had met in Basil Hallward’s studio! His nature had
developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of scarlet flame. Out of its secret
hiding-place had crept his soul, and desire had come to meet it on the way.
“And what
do you propose to do?” said Lord Henry at last.
“I want you
and Basil to come with me some night and see her act. I have not the slightest
fear of the result. You are certain to acknowledge her genius. Then we must get
her out of the Jew’s hands. She is bound to him for three years—at least for
two years and eight months—from the present time. I shall have to pay him
something, of course. When all that is settled, I shall take a West End theatre
and bring her out properly. She will make the world
as mad as
she has made me.”
“That would
be impossible, my dear boy.”
“Yes, she
will. She has not merely art, consummate art-instinct, in her, but she has
personality also; and you have often told me that it is personalities, not
principles, that move the age.”
“Well, what
night shall we go?”
“Let me
see. To-day is Tuesday. Let us fix to-morrow. She plays Juliet to-morrow.”
“All right.
The Bristol at eight o’clock; and I will get Basil.”
“Not eight,
Harry, please. Half-past six. We must be there before the curtain rises. You
must see her in the first act, where she meets Romeo.”
“Half-past
six! What an hour! It will be like having a meat-tea, or reading an English
novel. It must be seven. No gentleman dines before seven. Shall you see Basil
between this and then? Or shall I write to him?”
“Dear
Basil! I have not laid eyes on him for a week. It is rather horrid of me, as he
has sent me my portrait in the most wonderful frame, specially designed by
himself, and, though I am a little jealous of the picture for being a whole
month younger than I am, I must admit that I delight in it. Perhaps you had
better write to him. I don’t want to see him alone. He says things that annoy
me. He gives me good advice.”
Lord Henry
smiled. “People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves. It
is what I call the depth of generosity.”
“Oh, Basil
is the best of fellows, but he seems to me to be just a bit of a Philistine.
Since I have known you, Harry, I have discovered that.”
“Basil, my
dear boy, puts everything that is charming in him into his work. The
consequence is that he has nothing left for life but his prejudices, his
principles, and his common sense. The only artists I have ever known who are
personally delightful are bad artists. Good artists exist simply in what they
make, and consequently are perfectly uninteresting in what they are. A great
poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But
inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more
picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate
sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry that he cannot
write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realise.”
“I wonder
is that really so, Harry?” said Dorian Gray, putting some perfume on his
handkerchief out of a large, gold-topped bottle that stood on the table. “It
must be, if you say it. And now I am off. Imogen is waiting for me. Don’t
forget about to-morrow. Good-bye.”
As he left
the room, Lord Henry’s heavy eyelids drooped, and he began to think. Certainly
few people had ever interested him so much as Dorian Gray, and yet the lad’s
mad adoration of some one else caused him not the slightest pang of annoyance
or jealousy. He was pleased by it. It made him a more interesting study. He had
been always enthralled by the methods of natural science, but the ordinary
subject-matter of that science had seemed to him trivial and of no import. And
so he had begun by vivisecting himself, as he had ended by vivisecting others.
Human life—that appeared to him the one thing worth investigating. Compared to
it there was nothing else of any value. It was true that as one watched life in
its curious crucible of pain and pleasure, one could not wear over one’s face a
mask of glass, nor keep the sulphurous fumes from troubling the brain and
making the imagination turbid with monstrous fancies and misshapen dreams.
There were poisons so subtle that to know their properties one had to sicken of
them. There were maladies so strange that one had to pass through them if one
sought to understand their nature. And, yet, what a great reward one received!
How wonderful the whole world became to one! To note the curious hard logic of
passion, and the emotional coloured life of the intellect—to observe where they
met, and where they separated, at what point they were in unison, and at what
point they were at discord—there was a delight in that! What matter what the
cost was? One could never pay too high a price for any sensation.
He was
conscious—and the thought brought a gleam of pleasure into his brown agate
eyes—that it was through certain words of his, musical words said with musical
utterance, that Dorian Gray’s soul had turned to this white girl and bowed in
worship before her. To a large extent the lad was his own creation. He had made
him premature. That was something. Ordinary people waited till life disclosed
to them its secrets, but to the few, to the elect, the mysteries of life were
revealed before the veil was drawn away. Sometimes this was the effect of art,
and chiefly of the art of literature, which dealt immediately with the passions
and the intellect. But now and then a complex personality took the place and
assumed the office of art, was indeed, in its way, a real work of art, life
having its elaborate masterpieces, just as poetry has, or sculpture, or
painting.
Yes, the
lad was premature. He was gathering his harvest while it was yet spring. The
pulse and passion of youth were in him, but he was becoming self-conscious. It
was delightful to watch him. With his beautiful face, and his beautiful soul,
he was a thing to wonder at. It was no matter how it all ended, or was destined
to end. He was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose
joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir one’s sense of beauty, and
whose wounds are like red roses.
Soul and
body, body and soul—how mysterious they were! There was animalism in the soul,
and the body had its moments of spirituality. The senses could refine, and the
intellect could degrade. Who could say where the fleshly impulse ceased, or the
psychical impulse began? How shallow were the arbitrary definitions of ordinary
psychologists! And yet how difficult to decide between the claims of the
various schools! Was the soul a shadow seated in the house of sin? Or was the
body really in the soul, as Giordano Bruno thought? The separation of spirit
from matter was a mystery, and the union of spirit with matter was a mystery
also.
He began to
wonder whether we could ever make psychology so absolute a science that each
little spring of life would be revealed to us. As it was, we always
misunderstood ourselves and rarely understood others. Experience was of no
ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to their mistakes. Moralists
had, as a rule, regarded it as a mode of warning, had claimed for it a certain
ethical efficacy in the formation of character, had praised it as something
that taught us what to follow and showed us what to avoid. But there was no
motive power in experience. It was as little of an active cause as conscience
itself. All that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same
as our past, and that the sin we had done once, and with loathing, we would do
many times, and with joy.
It was
clear to him that the experimental method was the only method by which one
could arrive at any scientific analysis of the passions; and certainly Dorian
Gray was a subject made to his hand, and seemed to promise rich and fruitful
results. His sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane was a psychological phenomenon of
no small interest. There was no doubt that curiosity had much to do with it,
curiosity and the desire for new experiences, yet it was not a simple, but
rather a very complex passion. What there was in it of the purely sensuous
instinct of boyhood had been transformed by the workings of the imagination,
changed into something that seemed to the lad himself to be remote from sense,
and was for that very reason all the more dangerous. It was the passions about
whose origin we deceived ourselves that tyrannised most strongly over us. Our
weakest motives were those of whose nature we were conscious. It often happened
that when we thought we were experimenting on others we were really
experimenting on ourselves.
While Lord
Henry sat dreaming on these things, a knock came to the door, and his valet
entered and reminded him it was time to dress for dinner. He got up and looked
out into the street. The sunset had smitten into scarlet gold the upper windows
of the houses opposite. The panes glowed like plates of heated metal. The sky
above was like a faded rose. He thought of his friend’s young fiery-coloured
life and wondered how it was all going to end.
When he
arrived home, about half-past twelve o’clock, he saw a telegram lying on the
hall table. He opened it and found it was from Dorian Gray. It was to tell him
that he was engaged to be married to Sibyl Vane.
Chapter 5
“Mother,
Mother, I am so happy!” whispered the girl, burying her face in the lap of the
faded, tired-looking woman who, with back turned to the shrill intrusive light,
was sitting in the one arm-chair that their dingy sitting-room contained. “I am
so happy!” she repeated, “and you must be happy, too!”
Mrs. Vane
winced and put her thin, bismuth-whitened hands on her daughter’s head.
“Happy!” she echoed, “I am only happy, Sibyl, when I see you act. You must not
think of anything but your acting. Mr. Isaacs has been very good to us, and we
owe him money.”
The girl
looked up and pouted. “Money, Mother?” she cried, “what does money matter? Love
is more than money.”
“Mr. Isaacs
has advanced us fifty pounds to pay off our debts and to get a proper outfit
for James. You must not forget that, Sibyl. Fifty pounds is a very large sum.
Mr. Isaacs has been most considerate.”
“He is not
a gentleman, Mother, and I hate the way he talks to me,” said the girl, rising
to her feet and going over to the window.
“I don’t
know how we could manage without him,” answered the elder woman querulously.
Sibyl Vane
tossed her head and laughed. “We don’t want him any more, Mother. Prince
Charming rules life for us now.” Then she paused. A rose shook in her blood and
shadowed her cheeks. Quick breath parted the petals of her lips. They trembled.
Some southern wind of passion swept over her and stirred the dainty folds of
her dress. “I love him,” she said simply.
“Foolish
child! foolish child!” was the parrot-phrase flung in answer. The waving of
crooked, false-jewelled fingers gave grotesqueness to the words.
The girl
laughed again. The joy of a caged bird was in her voice. Her eyes caught the
melody and echoed it in radiance, then closed for a moment, as though to hide
their secret. When they opened, the mist of a dream had passed across them.
Thin-lipped
wisdom spoke at her from the worn chair, hinted at prudence, quoted from that
book of cowardice whose author apes the name of common sense. She did not
listen. She was free in her prison of passion. Her prince, Prince Charming, was
with her. She had called on memory to remake him. She had sent her soul to
search for him, and it had brought him back. His kiss burned again upon her
mouth. Her eyelids were warm with his breath.
Then wisdom
altered its method and spoke of espial and discovery. This young man might be
rich. If so, marriage should be thought of. Against the shell of her ear broke
the waves of worldly cunning. The arrows of craft shot by her. She saw the thin
lips moving, and smiled.
Suddenly
she felt the need to speak. The wordy silence troubled her. “Mother, Mother,”
she cried, “why does he love me so much? I know why I love him. I love him
because he is like what Love himself should be. But what does he see in me? I
am not worthy of him. And yet—why, I cannot tell—though I feel so much beneath
him, I don’t feel humble. I feel proud, terribly proud. Mother, did you love my
father as I love Prince Charming?”
The elder
woman grew pale beneath the coarse powder that daubed her cheeks, and her dry
lips twitched with a spasm of pain. Sybil rushed to her, flung her arms round
her neck, and kissed her. “Forgive me, Mother. I know it pains you to talk
about our father. But it only pains you because you loved him so much. Don’t
look so sad. I am as happy to-day as you were twenty years ago. Ah! let me be
happy for ever!”
“My child,
you are far too young to think of falling in love. Besides, what do you know of
this young man? You don’t even know his name. The whole thing is most
inconvenient, and really, when James is going away to Australia, and I have so
much to think of, I must say that you should have shown more consideration.
However, as I said before, if he is rich . . .”
“Ah!
Mother, Mother, let me be happy!”
Mrs. Vane
glanced at her, and with one of those false theatrical gestures that so often
become a mode of second nature to a stage-player, clasped her in her arms. At
this moment, the door opened and a young lad with rough brown hair came into
the room. He was thick-set of figure, and his hands and feet were large and
somewhat clumsy in movement. He was not so finely bred as his sister. One would
hardly have guessed the close relationship that existed between them. Mrs. Vane
fixed her eyes on him and intensified her smile. She mentally elevated her son
to the dignity of an audience. She felt sure that the tableau was interesting.
“You might
keep some of your kisses for me, Sibyl, I think,” said the lad with a
good-natured grumble.
“Ah! but
you don’t like being kissed, Jim,” she cried. “You are a dreadful old bear.”
And she ran across the room and hugged him.
James Vane
looked into his sister’s face with tenderness. “I want you to come out with me
for a walk, Sibyl. I don’t suppose I shall ever see this horrid London again. I
am sure I don’t want to.”
“My son,
don’t say such dreadful things,” murmured Mrs. Vane, taking up a tawdry
theatrical dress, with a sigh, and beginning to patch it. She felt a little
disappointed that he had not joined the group. It would have increased the
theatrical picturesqueness of the situation.
“Why not,
Mother? I mean it.”
“You pain
me, my son. I trust you will return from Australia in a position of affluence.
I believe there is no society of any kind in the Colonies—nothing that I would
call society—so when you have made your fortune, you must come back and assert
yourself in London.”
“Society!”
muttered the lad. “I don’t want to know anything about that. I should like to
make some money to take you and Sibyl off the stage. I hate it.”
“Oh, Jim!”
said Sibyl, laughing, “how unkind of you! But are you really going for a walk
with me? That will be nice! I was afraid you were going to say good-bye to some
of your friends—to Tom Hardy, who gave you that hideous pipe, or Ned Langton,
who makes fun of you for smoking it. It is very sweet of you to let me have
your last afternoon. Where shall we go? Let us go to the park.”
“I am too
shabby,” he answered, frowning. “Only swell people go to the park.”
“Nonsense,
Jim,” she whispered, stroking the sleeve of his coat.
He hesitated
for a moment. “Very well,” he said at last, “but don’t be too long dressing.”
She danced out of the door. One could hear her singing as she ran upstairs. Her
little feet pattered overhead.
He walked
up and down the room two or three times. Then he turned to the still figure in
the chair. “Mother, are my things ready?” he asked.
“Quite
ready, James,” she answered, keeping her eyes on her work. For some months past
she had felt ill at ease when she was alone with this rough stern son of hers.
Her shallow secret nature was troubled when their eyes met. She used to wonder
if he suspected anything. The silence, for he made no other observation, became
intolerable to her. She began to complain. Women defend themselves by
attacking, just as they attack by sudden and strange surrenders. “I hope you
will be contented, James, with your sea-faring life,” she said. “You must
remember that it is your own choice. You might have entered a solicitor’s
office. Solicitors are a very respectable class, and in the country often dine
with the best families.”
“I hate
offices, and I hate clerks,” he replied. “But you are quite right. I have
chosen my own life. All I say is, watch over Sibyl. Don’t let her come to any
harm. Mother, you must watch over her.”
“James, you
really talk very strangely. Of course I watch over Sibyl.”
“I hear a
gentleman comes every night to the theatre and goes behind to talk to her. Is
that right? What about that?”
“You are
speaking about things you don’t understand, James. In the profession we are
accustomed to receive a great deal of most gratifying attention. I myself used
to receive many bouquets at one time. That was when acting was really
understood. As for Sibyl, I do not know at present whether her attachment is
serious or not. But there is no doubt that the young man in question is a
perfect gentleman. He is always most polite to me. Besides, he has
the
appearance of being rich, and the flowers he sends are lovely.”
“You don’t
know his name, though,” said the lad harshly.
“No,”
answered his mother with a placid expression in her face. “He has not yet
revealed his real name. I think it is quite romantic of him. He is probably a
member of the aristocracy.”
James Vane
bit his lip. “Watch over Sibyl, Mother,” he cried, “watch over her.”
“My son,
you distress me very much. Sibyl is always under my special care. Of course, if
this gentleman is wealthy, there is no reason why she should not contract an
alliance with him. I trust he is one of the aristocracy. He has all the
appearance of it, I must say. It might be a most brilliant marriage for Sibyl.
They would make a charming couple. His good looks are really quite remarkable;
everybody notices them.”
The lad
muttered something to himself and drummed on the window-pane with his coarse
fingers. He had just turned round to say something when the door opened and
Sibyl ran in.
“How
serious you both are!” she cried. “What is the matter?”
“Nothing,”
he answered. “I suppose one must be serious sometimes. Good-bye, Mother; I will
have my dinner at five o’clock. Everything is packed, except my shirts, so you
need not trouble.”
“Good-bye,
my son,” she answered with a bow of strained stateliness.
She was
extremely annoyed at the tone he had adopted with her, and there was something
in his look that had made her feel afraid.
“Kiss me,
Mother,” said the girl. Her flowerlike lips touched the withered cheek and
warmed its frost.
“My child!
my child!” cried Mrs. Vane, looking up to the ceiling in search of an imaginary
gallery.
“Come,
Sibyl,” said her brother impatiently. He hated his mother’s affectations.
They went
out into the flickering, wind-blown sunlight and strolled down the dreary
Euston Road. The passers-by glanced in wonder at the sullen heavy youth who, in
coarse, ill-fitting clothes, was in the company of such a graceful,
refined-looking girl. He was like a common gardener walking with a rose.
Jim frowned
from time to time when he caught the inquisitive glance of some stranger. He
had that dislike of being stared at, which comes on geniuses late in life and
never leaves the commonplace. Sibyl, however, was quite unconscious of the
effect she was producing. Her love was trembling in laughter on her lips. She
was thinking of Prince Charming, and, that she might think of him all the more,
she did not talk of him, but prattled on about the ship in which Jim was going
to sail, about the gold he was certain to find, about the wonderful heiress
whose life he was to save from the wicked, red-shirted bushrangers. For he was
not to remain a sailor, or a supercargo, or whatever he was going to be. Oh,
no! A sailor’s existence was dreadful. Fancy being cooped up in a horrid ship,
with the hoarse, hump-backed waves trying to get in, and a black wind blowing
the masts down and tearing the sails into long screaming ribands! He was to
leave the vessel at Melbourne, bid a polite good-bye to the captain, and go off
at once to the gold-fields. Before a week was over he was to come across a
large nugget of pure gold, the largest nugget that had ever been discovered,
and bring it down to the coast in a waggon guarded by six mounted policemen.
The bushrangers were to attack them three times, and be defeated with immense
slaughter. Or, no. He was not to go to the gold-fields at all. They were horrid
places, where men got intoxicated, and shot each other in bar-rooms, and used
bad language. He was to be a nice sheep-farmer, and one evening, as he was
riding home, he was to see the beautiful heiress being carried off by a robber
on a black horse, and give chase, and rescue her. Of course, she would fall in
love with him, and he with her, and they would get married, and come home, and
live in an immense house in London. Yes, there were delightful things in store
for him. But he must be very good, and not lose his temper, or spend his money
foolishly. She was only a year older than he was, but she knew so much more of
life. He must be sure, also, to write to her by every mail, and to say his
prayers each night before he went to sleep. God was very good, and would watch
over him. She would pray for him, too, and in a few years he would come back
quite rich and happy.
The lad
listened sulkily to her and made no answer. He was heart-sick at leaving home.
Yet it was
not this alone that made him gloomy and morose. Inexperienced though he was, he
had still a strong sense of the danger of Sibyl’s position. This young dandy
who was making love to her could mean her no good. He was a gentleman, and he
hated him for that, hated him through some curious race-instinct for which he
could not account, and which for that reason was all the more dominant within
him. He was conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother’s
nature, and in that saw infinite peril for Sibyl and Sibyl’s happiness.
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them;
sometimes they forgive them.
His mother!
He had something on his mind to ask of her, something that he had brooded on
for many months of silence. A chance phrase that he had heard at the theatre, a
whispered sneer that had reached his ears one night as he waited at the
stage-door, had set loose a train of horrible thoughts. He remembered it as if
it had been the lash of a hunting-crop across his face. His brows knit together
into a wedge-like furrow, and with a twitch of pain he bit his underlip.
“You are
not listening to a word I am saying, Jim,” cried Sibyl, “and I am making the
most delightful plans for your future. Do say something.”
“What do
you want me to say?”
“Oh! that
you will be a good boy and not forget us,” she answered, smiling at him.
He shrugged
his shoulders. “You are more likely to forget me than I am to forget you,
Sibyl.”
She
flushed. “What do you mean, Jim?” she asked.
“You have a
new friend, I hear. Who is he? Why have you not told me about him? He means you
no good.”
“Stop,
Jim!” she exclaimed. “You must not say anything against him. I love him.”
“Why, you
don’t even know his name,” answered the lad. “Who is he? I have a right to
know.”
“He is
called Prince Charming. Don’t you like the name. Oh! you silly boy! you should
never forget it. If you only saw him, you would think him the most wonderful
person in the world. Some day you will meet him—when you come back from
Australia. You will like him so much. Everybody likes him, and I . . . love
him. I wish you could come to the theatre to-night. He is going to be there,
and I am to play Juliet. Oh! how I shall play it! Fancy, Jim, to be in love and
play Juliet! To have him sitting there! To play for his delight! I am afraid I
may frighten the company, frighten or enthrall them. To be in love is to
surpass one’s self. Poor dreadful Mr. Isaacs will be shouting ‘genius’ to his
loafers at the bar. He has preached me as a dogma; to-night he will announce me
as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his, his only, Prince Charming, my
wonderful lover, my god of graces. But I am poor beside him. Poor? What does
that matter? When poverty creeps in at the door, love flies in through the
window. Our proverbs want rewriting. They were made in winter, and it is summer
now; spring-time for me, I think, a very dance of blossoms in blue skies.”
“He is a
gentleman,” said the lad sullenly.
“A prince!”
she cried musically. “What more do you want?”
“He wants
to enslave you.”
“I shudder
at the thought of being free.”
“I want you
to beware of him.”
“To see him
is to worship him; to know him is to trust him.”
“Sibyl, you
are mad about him.”
She laughed
and took his arm. “You dear old Jim, you talk as if you were a hundred. Some
day you will be in love yourself. Then you will know what it is. Don’t look so
sulky. Surely you should be glad to think that, though you are going away, you
leave me happier than I have ever been before. Life has been hard for us both,
terribly hard and difficult. But it will be different now. You are going to a
new world, and I have found one. Here are two chairs; let us sit down and see
the smart people go by.”
They took
their seats amidst a crowd of watchers. The tulip-beds across the road flamed
like throbbing rings of fire. A white dust, tremulous cloud of orris-root it
seemed, hung in the panting air. The brightly coloured parasols danced and
dipped like monstrous butterflies.
She made
her brother talk of himself, his hopes, his prospects. He spoke slowly and with
effort. They passed words to each other as players at a game pass counters.
Sibyl felt oppressed. She could not communicate her joy. A faint smile curving
that sullen mouth was all the echo she could win. After some time she became silent.
Suddenly she caught a glimpse of golden hair and laughing lips, and in an open
carriage with two ladies Dorian Gray drove past.
She started
to her feet. “There he is!” she cried.
“Who?” said
Jim Vane.
“Prince
Charming,” she answered, looking after the victoria.
He jumped
up and seized her roughly by the arm. “Show him to me. Which is he? Point him
out. I must see him!” he exclaimed; but at that moment the Duke of Berwick’s
four-in-hand came between, and when it had left the space clear, the carriage
had swept out of the park.
“He is
gone,” murmured Sibyl sadly. “I wish you had seen him.”
“I wish I
had, for as sure as there is a God in heaven, if he ever does you any wrong, I
shall kill him.”
She looked
at him in horror. He repeated his words. They cut the air like a dagger. The
people round began to gape. A lady standing close to her tittered.
“Come away,
Jim; come away,” she whispered. He followed her doggedly as she passed through
the crowd. He felt glad at what he had said.
When they
reached the Achilles Statue, she turned round. There was pity in her eyes that
became laughter on her lips. She shook her head at him. “You are foolish, Jim,
utterly foolish; a bad-tempered boy, that is all. How can you say such horrible
things? You don’t know what you are talking about. You are simply jealous and
unkind. Ah! I wish you would fall in love. Love makes people good, and what you
said was wicked.”
“I am
sixteen,” he answered, “and I know what I am about. Mother is no help to you.
She doesn’t understand how to look after you. I wish now that I was not going
to Australia at all. I have a great mind to chuck the whole thing up. I would,
if my articles hadn’t been signed.”
“Oh, don’t
be so serious, Jim. You are like one of the heroes of those silly melodramas
Mother used to be so fond of acting in. I am not going to quarrel with you. I
have seen him, and oh! to see him is perfect happiness. We won’t quarrel. I
know you would never harm any one I love, would you?”
“Not as
long as you love him, I suppose,” was the sullen answer.
“I shall
love him for ever!” she cried.
“And he?”
“For ever,
too!”
“He had
better.”
She shrank
from him. Then she laughed and put her hand on his arm. He was merely a boy.
At the
Marble Arch they hailed an omnibus, which left them close to their shabby home
in the Euston Road. It was after five o’clock, and Sibyl had to lie down for a
couple of hours before acting. Jim insisted that she should do so. He said that
he would sooner part with her when their mother was not present. She would be
sure to make a scene, and he detested scenes of every kind.
In Sybil’s
own room they parted. There was jealousy in the lad’s heart, and a fierce
murderous hatred of the stranger who, as it seemed to him, had come between
them. Yet, when her arms were flung round his neck, and her fingers strayed
through his hair, he softened and kissed her with real affection. There were
tears in his eyes as he went downstairs.
His mother
was waiting for him below. She grumbled at his unpunctuality, as he entered. He
made no answer, but sat down to his meagre meal. The flies buzzed round the
table and crawled over the stained cloth. Through the rumble of omnibuses, and
the clatter of street-cabs, he could hear the droning voice devouring each
minute that was left to him.
After some
time, he thrust away his plate and put his head in his hands. He felt that he
had a right to know. It should have been told to him before, if it was as he
suspected. Leaden with fear, his mother watched him. Words dropped mechanically
from her lips. A tattered lace handkerchief twitched in her fingers. When the
clock struck six, he got up and went to the door. Then he turned back and
looked at her. Their eyes met. In hers he saw a wild appeal for mercy. It
enraged him.
“Mother, I
have something to ask you,” he said. Her eyes wandered vaguely about the room.
She made no answer. “Tell me the truth. I have a right to know. Were you
married to my father?”
She heaved
a deep sigh. It was a sigh of relief. The terrible moment, the moment that
night and day, for weeks and months, she had dreaded, had come at last, and yet
she felt no terror. Indeed, in some measure it was a disappointment to her. The
vulgar directness of the question called for a direct answer. The situation had
not been gradually led up to. It was crude. It reminded her of a bad rehearsal.
“No,” she
answered, wondering at the harsh simplicity of life.
“My father
was a scoundrel then!” cried the lad, clenching his fists.
She shook
her head. “I knew he was not free. We loved each other very much. If he had
lived, he would have made provision for us. Don’t speak against him, my son. He
was your father, and a gentleman. Indeed, he was highly connected.”
An oath
broke from his lips. “I don’t care for myself,” he exclaimed, “but don’t let
Sibyl. . . . It is a gentleman, isn’t it, who is in love with her, or says he
is? Highly connected, too, I suppose.”
For a
moment a hideous sense of humiliation came over the woman. Her head drooped.
She wiped her eyes with shaking hands. “Sibyl has a mother,” she murmured; “I
had none.”
The lad was
touched. He went towards her, and stooping down, he kissed her. “I am sorry if
I have pained you by asking about my father,” he said, “but I could not help
it. I must go now. Good-bye. Don’t forget that you will have only one child now
to look after, and believe me that if this man wrongs my sister, I will find
out who he is, track him down, and kill him like a dog. I swear it.”
The
exaggerated folly of the threat, the passionate gesture that accompanied it,
the mad melodramatic words, made life seem more vivid to her. She was familiar
with the atmosphere. She breathed more freely, and for the first time for many
months she really admired her son. She would have liked to have continued the
scene on the same emotional scale, but he cut her short. Trunks had to be
carried down and mufflers looked for. The lodging-house drudge bustled in and
out. There was the bargaining with the cabman. The moment was lost in vulgar
details. It was with a renewed feeling of disappointment that she waved the
tattered lace handkerchief from the window, as her son drove away. She was
conscious that a great opportunity had been wasted. She consoled herself by
telling Sibyl how desolate she felt her life would be, now that she had only
one child to look after. She remembered the phrase. It had pleased her. Of the
threat she said nothing. It was vividly and dramatically expressed. She felt
that they would all laugh at it some day.
Chapter 6
I suppose
you have heard the news, Basil?” said Lord Henry that evening as Hallward was
shown into a little private room at the Bristol where dinner had been laid for
three.
“No,
Harry,” answered the artist, giving his hat and coat to the bowing waiter.
“What is it? Nothing about politics, I hope! They don’t interest me. There is
hardly a single person in the House of Commons worth painting, though many of
them would be the better for a little whitewashing.”
“Dorian
Gray is engaged to be married,” said Lord Henry, watching him as he spoke.
Hallward
started and then frowned. “Dorian engaged to be married!” he cried.
“Impossible!”
“It is perfectly
true.”
“To whom?”
“To some
little actress or other.”
“I can’t
believe it. Dorian is far too sensible.”
“Dorian is
far too wise not to do foolish things now and then, my dear Basil.”
“Marriage
is hardly a thing that one can do now and then, Harry.”
“Except in
America,” rejoined Lord Henry languidly. “But I didn’t say he was married. I
said he was engaged to be married. There is a great difference. I have a
distinct remembrance of being married, but I have no recollection at all of
being engaged. I am inclined to think that I never was engaged.”
“But think
of Dorian’s birth, and position, and wealth. It would be absurd for him to
marry so much beneath him.”
“If you
want to make him marry this girl, tell him that, Basil. He is sure to do it,
then. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the
noblest motives.”
“I hope the
girl is good, Harry. I don’t want to see Dorian tied to some vile creature, who
might degrade his nature and ruin his intellect.”
“Oh, she is
better than good—she is beautiful,” murmured Lord Henry, sipping a glass of
vermouth and orange-bitters. “Dorian says she is beautiful, and he is not often
wrong about things of that kind. Your portrait of him has quickened his
appreciation of the personal appearance of other people. It has had that
excellent effect, amongst others. We are to see her to-night, if that boy
doesn’t forget his appointment.”
“Are you
serious?”
“Quite
serious, Basil. I should be miserable if I thought I should ever be more
serious than I am at the present moment.”
“But do you
approve of it, Harry?” asked the painter, walking up and down the room and
biting his lip. “You can’t approve of it, possibly. It is some silly
infatuation.”
“I never
approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take
towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I
never take any notice of what common people say, and I never interfere with
what charming people do. If a personality fascinates me, whatever mode of
expression that personality selects is absolutely delightful to me. Dorian Gray
falls in love with a beautiful girl who acts Juliet, and proposes to marry her.
Why not? If he wedded Messalina, he would be none the less interesting. You know
I am not a champion of marriage. The real drawback to marriage is that it makes
one unselfish. And unselfish people are colourless. They lack individuality.
Still, there are certain temperaments that marriage makes more complex. They
retain their egotism, and add to it many other egos. They are forced to have
more than one life. They become more highly organised, and to be highly
organised is, I should fancy, the object of man’s existence. Besides, every
experience is of value, and whatever one may say against marriage, it is
certainly an experience. I hope that Dorian Gray will make this girl his wife,
passionately adore her for six months, and then suddenly become fascinated by
some one else. He would be a wonderful study.”
“You don’t
mean a single word of all that, Harry; you know you don’t. If Dorian Gray’s
life were spoiled, no one would be sorrier than yourself. You are much better
than you pretend to be.”
Lord Henry
laughed. “The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all
afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror. We think that we
are generous because we credit our neighbour with the possession of those
virtues that are likely to be a benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may
overdraw our account, and find good qualities in the highwayman in the hope
that he may spare our pockets. I mean everything that I have said. I have the
greatest contempt for optimism. As for a spoiled life, no life is spoiled but
one whose growth is arrested. If you want to mar a nature, you have merely to
reform it. As for marriage, of course that would be silly, but there are other
and more interesting bonds between men and women. I will certainly encourage
them. They have the charm of being fashionable. But here is Dorian himself. He
will tell you more than I can.”
“My dear
Harry, my dear Basil, you must both congratulate me!” said the lad, throwing
off his evening cape with its satin-lined wings and shaking each of his friends
by the hand in turn. “I have never been so happy. Of course, it is sudden—all
really delightful things are. And yet it seems to me to be the one thing I have
been looking for all my life.” He was flushed with excitement and pleasure, and
looked extraordinarily handsome.
“I hope you
will always be very happy, Dorian,” said Hallward, “but I don’t quite forgive
you for not having let me know of your engagement. You let Harry know.”
“And I
don’t forgive you for being late for dinner,” broke in Lord Henry, putting his
hand on the lad’s shoulder and smiling as he spoke. “Come, let us sit down and
try what the new chef here is like, and then you will tell us how it all came
about.”
“There is
really not much to tell,” cried Dorian as they took their seats at the small
round table. “What happened was simply this. After I left you yesterday
evening, Harry, I dressed, had some dinner at that little Italian restaurant in
Rupert Street you introduced me to, and went down at eight o’clock to the
theatre. Sibyl was playing Rosalind. Of course, the scenery was dreadful and
the Orlando absurd. But Sibyl! You should have seen her! When she came on in
her boy’s clothes, she was perfectly wonderful. She wore a moss-coloured velvet
jerkin with cinnamon sleeves, slim, brown, cross-gartered hose, a dainty little
green cap with a hawk’s feather caught in a jewel, and a hooded cloak lined
with dull red. She had never seemed to me more exquisite. She had all the
delicate grace of that Tanagra figurine that you have in your studio, Basil.
Her hair clustered round her face like dark leaves round a pale rose. As for
her acting—well, you shall see her to-night. She is simply a born artist. I sat
in the dingy box absolutely enthralled. I forgot that I was in London and in
the nineteenth century. I was away with my love in a forest that no man had ever
seen. After the performance was over, I went behind and spoke to her. As we
were sitting together, suddenly there came into her eyes a look that I had
never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers. We kissed each other. I
can’t describe to you what I felt at that moment. It seemed to me that all my
life had been narrowed to one perfect point of rose-coloured joy. She trembled
all over and shook like a white narcissus. Then she flung herself on her knees
and kissed my hands. I feel that I should not tell you all this, but I can’t
help it. Of course, our engagement is a dead secret. She has not even told her
own mother. I don’t know what my guardians will say. Lord Radley is sure to be
furious. I don’t care. I shall be of age in less than a year, and then I can do
what I like. I have been right, Basil, haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry
and to find my wife in Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to
speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind
around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth.”
“Yes,
Dorian, I suppose you were right,” said Hallward slowly.
“Have you
seen her to-day?” asked Lord Henry.
Dorian Gray
shook his head. “I left her in the forest of Arden; I shall find her in an
orchard in Verona.”
Lord Henry
sipped his champagne in a meditative manner. “At what particular point did you
mention the word marriage, Dorian? And what did she say in answer? Perhaps you
forgot all about it.”
“My dear
Harry, I did not treat it as a business transaction, and I did not make any
formal proposal. I told her that I loved her, and she said she was not worthy
to be my wife. Not worthy! Why, the whole world is nothing to me compared with
her.”
“Women are
wonderfully practical,” murmured Lord Henry, “much more practical than we are.
In situations of that kind we often forget to say anything about marriage, and
they always remind us.”
Hallward
laid his hand upon his arm. “Don’t, Harry. You have annoyed Dorian. He is not
like other men. He would never bring misery upon any one. His nature is too
fine for that.”
Lord Henry
looked across the table. “Dorian is never annoyed with me,” be answered. “I
asked the question for the best reason possible, for the only reason, indeed,
that excuses one for asking any question—simple curiosity. I have a theory that
it is always the women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women.
Except, of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not
modern.”
Dorian Gray
laughed, and tossed his head. “You are quite incorrigible, Harry; but I don’t
mind. It is impossible to be angry with you. When you see Sibyl Vane, you will
feel that the man who could wrong her would be a beast, a beast without a
heart. I cannot understand how any one can wish to shame the thing he loves. I
love Sibyl Vane. I want to place her on a pedestal of gold and to see the world
worship the woman who is mine. What is marriage? An irrevocable vow. You mock
at it for that. Ah! don’t mock. It is an irrevocable vow that I want to take.
Her trust makes me faithful, her belief makes me good. When I am with her, I
regret all that you have taught me. I become different from what you have known
me to be. I am changed, and the mere touch of Sibyl Vane’s hand makes me forget
you and all your wrong, fascinating, poisonous, delightful theories.”
“And those
are . . . ?” asked Lord Henry, helping himself to some salad.
“Oh, your
theories about life, your theories about love, your theories about pleasure.
All your theories, in fact, Harry.”
“Pleasure
is the only thing worth having a theory about,” he answered in his slow
melodious voice. “But I am afraid I cannot claim my theory as my own. It
belongs to Nature, not to me. Pleasure is Nature’s test, her sign of approval.
When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always
happy.”
“Ah! but
what do you mean by good?” cried Basil Hallward.
“Yes,”
echoed Dorian, leaning back in his chair and looking at Lord Henry over the
heavy clusters of purple-lipped irises that stood in the centre of the table,
“what do you mean by good, Harry?”
“To be good
is to be in harmony with one’s self,” he replied, touching the thin stem of his
glass with his pale, fine-pointed fingers. “Discord is to be forced to be in
harmony with others. One’s own life—that is the important thing. As for the
lives of one’s neighbours, if one wishes to be a prig or a Puritan, one can
flaunt one’s moral views about them, but they are not one’s concern. Besides,
individualism has really the higher aim. Modern morality consists in accepting
the standard of one’s age. I consider that for any man of culture to accept the
standard of his age is a form of the grossest immorality.”
“But,
surely, if one lives merely for one’s self, Harry, one pays a terrible price
for doing so?” suggested the painter.
“Yes, we
are overcharged for everything nowadays. I should fancy that the real tragedy
of the poor is that they can afford nothing but self-denial. Beautiful sins,
like beautiful things, are the privilege of the rich.”
“One has to
pay in other ways but money.”
“What sort
of ways, Basil?”
“Oh! I
should fancy in remorse, in suffering, in . . . well, in the consciousness of
degradation.”
Lord Henry
shrugged his shoulders. “My dear fellow, mediaeval art is charming, but mediaeval
emotions are out of date. One can use them in fiction, of course. But then the
only things that one can use in fiction are the things that one has ceased to
use in fact. Believe me, no civilised man ever regrets a pleasure, and no
uncivilised man ever knows what a pleasure is.”
“I know
what pleasure is,” cried Dorian Gray. “It is to adore some one.”
“That is
certainly better than being adored,” he answered, toying with some fruits.
“Being adored is a nuisance. Women treat us just as humanity treats its gods.
They worship us, and are always bothering us to do something for them.”
“I should
have said that whatever they ask for they had first given to us,” murmured the
lad gravely. “They create love in our natures. They have a right to demand it
back.”
“That is
quite true, Dorian,” cried Hallward.
“Nothing is
ever quite true,” said Lord Henry.
“This is,”
interrupted Dorian. “You must admit, Harry, that women give to men the very
gold of their lives.”
“Possibly,”
he sighed, “but they invariably want it back in such very small change. That is
the worry. Women, as some witty Frenchman once put it, inspire us with the
desire to do
masterpieces
and always prevent us from carrying them out.”
“Harry, you
are dreadful! I don’t know why I like you so much.”
“You will
always like me, Dorian,” he replied. “Will you have some coffee, you fellows?
Waiter, bring coffee, and fine-champagne , and some cigarettes. No, don’t mind
the cigarettes—I have some. Basil, I can’t allow you to smoke cigars. You must
have a cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is
exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? Yes, Dorian,
you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never
had the courage to commit.”
“What nonsense
you talk, Harry!” cried the lad, taking a light from a fire-breathing silver
dragon that the waiter had placed on the table. “Let us go down to the theatre.
When Sibyl comes on the stage you will have a new ideal of life. She will
represent something to you that you have never known.”
“I have
known everything,” said Lord Henry, with a tired look in his eyes, “but I am
always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid, however, that, for me at any rate,
there is no such thing. Still, your wonderful girl may thrill me. I love
acting. It is so much more real than life. Let us go. Dorian, you will come
with me. I am so sorry, Basil, but there is only room for two in the brougham.
You must follow us in a hansom.”
They got up
and put on their coats, sipping their coffee standing. The painter was silent
and preoccupied. There was a gloom over him. He could not bear this marriage,
and yet it seemed to him to be better than many other things that might have
happened. After a few minutes, they all passed downstairs. He drove off by
himself, as had been arranged, and watched the flashing lights of the little
brougham in front of him. A strange sense of loss came over him. He felt that
Dorian Gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the past. Life
had come between them. . . . His eyes darkened, and the crowded flaring streets
became blurred to his eyes. When the cab drew up at the theatre, it seemed to
him that he had grown years older.
Chapter 7
For some
reason or other, the house was crowded that night, and the fat Jew manager who
met them at the door was beaming from ear to ear with an oily tremulous smile.
He escorted them to their box with a sort of pompous humility, waving his fat
jewelled hands and talking at the top of his voice. Dorian Gray loathed him
more than ever. He felt as if he had come to look for Miranda and had been met
by Caliban. Lord Henry, upon the other hand, rather liked him. At least he
declared he did, and insisted on shaking him by the hand and assuring him that
he was proud to meet a man who had discovered a real genius and gone bankrupt
over a poet. Hallward amused himself with watching the faces in the pit. The
heat was terribly oppressive, and the huge sunlight flamed like a monstrous
dahlia with petals of yellow fire. The youths in the gallery had taken off
their coats and waistcoats and hung them over the side. They talked to each
other across the theatre and shared their oranges with the tawdry girls who sat
beside them. Some women were laughing in the pit. Their voices were horribly
shrill and discordant. The sound of the popping of corks came from the bar.
“What a
place to find one’s divinity in!” said Lord Henry.
“Yes!”
answered Dorian Gray. “It was here I found her, and she is divine beyond all
living things. When she acts, you will forget everything. These common rough
people, with their coarse faces and brutal gestures, become quite different
when she is on the stage. They sit silently and watch her. They weep and laugh
as she wills them to do. She makes them as responsive as a violin. She
spiritualises them, and one feels that they are of the same flesh and blood as
one’s self.”
“The same
flesh and blood as one’s self! Oh, I hope not!” exclaimed Lord Henry, who was
scanning the occupants of the gallery through his opera-glass.
“Don’t pay
any attention to him, Dorian,” said the painter. “I understand what you mean,
and I believe in this girl. Any one you love must be marvellous, and any girl
who has the effect you describe must be fine and noble. To spiritualise one’s
age—that is something worth doing. If this girl can give a soul to those who
have lived without one, if she can create the sense of beauty in people whose
lives have been sordid and ugly, if she can strip them of their selfishness and
lend them tears for sorrows that are not their own, she is worthy of all your
adoration, worthy of the adoration of the world. This marriage is quite right.
I did not think so at first, but I admit it now. The gods made Sibyl Vane for
you. Without her you would have been incomplete.”
“Thanks,
Basil,” answered Dorian Gray, pressing his hand. “I knew that you would
understand me. Harry is so cynical, he terrifies me. But here is the orchestra.
It is quite dreadful, but it only lasts for about five minutes. Then the
curtain rises, and you will see the girl to whom I am going to give all my
life, to whom I have given everything that is good in me.”
A quarter
of an hour afterwards, amidst an extraordinary turmoil of applause, Sibyl Vane
stepped on to the stage. Yes, she was certainly lovely to look at—one of the
loveliest creatures, Lord Henry thought, that he had ever seen. There was
something of the fawn in her shy grace and startled eyes. A faint blush, like
the shadow of a rose in a mirror of silver, came to her cheeks as she glanced
at the crowded enthusiastic house. She stepped back a few paces and her lips
seemed to tremble. Basil Hallward leaped to his feet and began to applaud.
Motionless, and as one in a dream, sat Dorian Gray, gazing at her. Lord Henry
peered through his glasses, murmuring, “Charming! charming!”
The scene
was the hall of Capulet’s house, and Romeo in his pilgrim’s dress had entered
with Mercutio and his other friends. The band, such as it was, struck up a few
bars of music, and the dance began. Through the crowd of ungainly, shabbily
dressed actors, Sibyl Vane moved like a creature from a finer world. Her body
swayed, while she danced, as a plant sways in the water. The curves of her
throat were the curves of a white lily. Her hands seemed to be made of cool
ivory.
Yet she was
curiously listless. She showed no sign of joy when her eyes rested on Romeo.
The few words she had to speak—
“Good
pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which
mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints
have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
And palm to
palm is holy palmers’ kiss—”
with the
brief dialogue that follows, were spoken in a thoroughly artificial manner. The
voice was exquisite, but from the point of view of tone it was absolutely
false. It was wrong in colour. It took away all the life from the verse. It
made the passion unreal.
Dorian Gray
grew pale as he watched her. He was puzzled and anxious. Neither of his friends
dared to say anything to him. She seemed to them to be absolutely incompetent.
They were horribly disappointed.
Yet they
felt that the true test of any Juliet is the balcony scene of the second act.
They waited for that. If she failed there, there was nothing in her.
She looked
charming as she came out in the moonlight. That could not be denied. But the
staginess of her acting was unbearable, and grew worse as she went on. Her
gestures became absurdly artificial. She over-emphasised everything that she
had to say. The beautiful passage—
“Thou
knowest the mask of night is on my face,
Else would
a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that
which thou hast heard me speak to-night—”
was
declaimed with the painful precision of a schoolgirl who has been taught to
recite by some second-rate professor of elocution. When she leaned over the
balcony and came to those wonderful lines—
“Although I
joy in thee,
I have no
joy of this contract to-night:
It is too
rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like
the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can
say, ‘It lightens.’ Sweet, good-night!
This bud of
love by summer’s ripening breath
May prove a
beauteous flower when next we meet—”
she spoke
the words as though they conveyed no meaning to her. It was not nervousness.
Indeed, so far from being nervous, she was absolutely self-contained. It was
simply bad art. She was a complete failure.
Even the
common uneducated audience of the pit and gallery lost their interest in the
play. They got restless, and began to talk loudly and to whistle. The Jew
manager, who was standing at the back of the dress-circle, stamped and swore
with rage. The only person unmoved was the girl herself.
When the
second act was over, there came a storm of hisses, and Lord Henry got up from
his chair and put on his coat. “She is quite beautiful, Dorian,” he said, “but
she can’t act. Let us go.”
“I am going
to see the play through,” answered the lad, in a hard bitter voice. “I am
awfully sorry that I have made you waste an evening, Harry. I apologise to you
both.”
“My dear
Dorian, I should think Miss Vane was ill,” interrupted Hallward. “We will come
some other night.”
“I wish she
were ill,” he rejoined. “But she seems to me to be simply callous and cold. She
has entirely altered. Last night she was a great artist. This evening she is
merely a commonplace mediocre actress.”
“Don’t talk
like that about any one you love, Dorian. Love is a more wonderful thing than
art.”
“They are
both simply forms of imitation,” remarked Lord Henry. “But do let us go.
Dorian, you must not stay here any longer. It is not good for one’s morals to
see bad acting. Besides, I don’t suppose you will want your wife to act, so
what does it matter if she plays Juliet like a wooden doll? She is very lovely,
and if she knows as little about life as she does about acting, she will be a
delightful experience. There are only two kinds of people who are really
fascinating—people who know absolutely everything, and people who know
absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don’t look so tragic! The secret
of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming. Come to the
club with Basil and myself. We will smoke cigarettes and drink to the beauty of
Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. What more can you want?”
“Go away,
Harry,” cried the lad. “I want to be alone. Basil, you must go. Ah! can’t you
see that my heart is breaking?” The hot tears came to his eyes. His lips
trembled, and rushing to the back of the box, he leaned up against the wall,
hiding his face in his hands.
“Let us go,
Basil,” said Lord Henry with a strange tenderness in his voice, and the two
young men passed out together.
A few
moments afterwards the footlights flared up and the curtain rose on the third
act. Dorian Gray went back to his seat. He looked pale, and proud, and
indifferent. The play dragged on, and seemed interminable. Half of the audience
went out, tramping in heavy boots and laughing. The whole thing was a fiasco.
The last act was played to almost empty benches. The curtain went down on a
titter and some groans.
As soon as it
was over, Dorian Gray rushed behind the scenes into the greenroom. The girl was
standing there alone, with a look of triumph on her face. Her eyes were lit
with an exquisite fire. There was a radiance about her. Her parted lips were
smiling over some secret of their own.
When he
entered, she looked at him, and an expression of infinite joy came over her.
“How badly I acted to-night, Dorian!” she cried.
“Horribly!”
he answered, gazing at her in amazement. “Horribly! It was dreadful. Are you
ill? You have no idea what it was. You have no idea what I suffered.”
The girl
smiled. “Dorian,” she answered, lingering over his name with long-drawn music
in her voice, as though it were sweeter than honey to the red petals of her
mouth. “Dorian, you should have understood. But you understand now, don’t you?”
“Understand
what?” he asked, angrily.
“Why I was
so bad to-night. Why I shall always be bad. Why I shall never act well again.”
He shrugged
his shoulders. “You are ill, I suppose. When you are ill you shouldn’t act. You
make yourself ridiculous. My friends were bored. I was bored.”
She seemed
not to listen to him. She was transfigured with joy. An ecstasy of happiness
dominated her.
“Dorian,
Dorian,” she cried, “before I knew you, acting was the one reality of my life.
It was only in the theatre that I lived. I thought that it was all true. I was
Rosalind one night and Portia the other. The joy of Beatrice was my joy, and
the sorrows of Cordelia were mine also. I believed in everything. The common
people who acted with me seemed to me to be godlike. The painted scenes were my
world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came—oh, my
beautiful love!—and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what reality
really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw through the
hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in which I had always
played. To-night, for the first time, I became conscious that the Romeo was
hideous, and old, and painted, that the moonlight in the orchard was false,
that the scenery was vulgar, and that the words I had to speak were unreal,
were not my words, were not what I wanted to say. You had brought me something
higher, something of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me
understand what love really is. My love! My love! Prince Charming! Prince of
life! I have grown sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever
be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on to-night, I
could not understand how it was that everything had gone from me. I thought
that I was going to be wonderful. I found that I could do nothing. Suddenly it
dawned on my soul what it all meant. The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard
them hissing, and I smiled. What could they know of love such as ours? Take me
away, Dorian—take me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the
stage. I might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that
burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it signifies?
Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to play at being in love.
You have made me see that.”
He flung
himself down on the sofa and turned away his face. “You have killed my love,”
he muttered.
She looked
at him in wonder and laughed. He made no answer. She came across to him, and
with her little fingers stroked his hair. She knelt down and pressed his hands
to her lips. He drew them away, and a shudder ran through him.
Then he
leaped up and went to the door. “Yes,” he cried, “you have killed my love. You
used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even stir my curiosity. You simply
produce no effect. I loved you because you were marvellous, because you had
genius and intellect, because you realised the dreams of great poets and gave
shape and substance to the shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are
shallow and stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been!
You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never think of
you. I will never mention your name. You don’t know what you were to me, once.
Why, once . . . Oh, I can’t bear to think of it! I wish I had never laid eyes
upon you! You have spoiled the romance of my life. How little you can know of
love, if you say it mars your art! Without your art, you are nothing. I would
have made you famous, splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped
you, and you would have borne my name. What are you now? A third-rate actress with
a pretty face.”
The girl
grew white, and trembled. She clenched her hands together, and her voice seemed
to catch in her throat. “You are not serious, Dorian?” she murmured. “You are
acting.”
“Acting! I
leave that to you. You do it so well,” he answered bitterly.
She rose
from her knees and, with a piteous expression of pain in her face, came across
the room to him. She put her hand upon his arm and looked into his eyes. He
thrust her back. “Don’t touch me!” he cried.
A low moan
broke from her, and she flung herself at his feet and lay there like a trampled
flower. “Dorian, Dorian, don’t leave me!” she whispered. “I am so sorry I
didn’t act well. I was thinking of you all the time. But I will try—indeed, I
will try. It came so suddenly across me, my love for you. I think I should
never have known it if you had not kissed me—if we had not kissed each other.
Kiss me again, my love. Don’t go away from me. I couldn’t bear it. Oh! don’t go
away from me. My brother . . . No; never mind. He didn’t mean it. He was in
jest. . . . But you, oh! can’t you forgive me for to-night? I will work so hard
and try to improve.
Don’t be
cruel to me, because I love you better than anything in the world. After all,
it is only once that I have not pleased you. But you are quite right, Dorian. I
should have shown myself more of an artist. It was foolish of me, and yet I
couldn’t help it. Oh, don’t leave me, don’t leave me.” A fit of passionate
sobbing choked her. She crouched on the floor like a wounded thing, and Dorian
Gray, with his beautiful eyes, looked down at her, and his chiselled lips
curled in exquisite disdain. There is always something ridiculous about the
emotions of people whom one has ceased to love. Sibyl Vane seemed to him to be
absurdly melodramatic. Her tears and sobs annoyed him.
“I am
going,” he said at last in his calm clear voice. “I don’t wish to be unkind,
but I can’t see you again. You have disappointed me.”
She wept
silently, and made no answer, but crept nearer. Her little hands stretched
blindly out, and appeared to be seeking for him. He turned on his heel and left
the room. In a few moments he was out of the theatre. Where he went to he
hardly knew. He remembered wandering through dimly lit streets, past gaunt,
black-shadowed archways and evil-looking houses. Women with hoarse voices and
harsh laughter had called after him. Drunkards had reeled by, cursing and
chattering to themselves like monstrous apes. He had seen grotesque children
huddled upon door-steps, and heard shrieks and oaths from gloomy courts.
As the dawn
was just breaking, he found himself close to Covent Garden. The darkness
lifted, and, flushed with faint fires, the sky hollowed itself into a perfect
pearl. Huge carts filled with nodding lilies rumbled slowly down the polished
empty street. The air was heavy with the perfume of the flowers, and their
beauty seemed to bring him an anodyne for his pain. He followed into the market
and watched the men unloading their waggons. A white-smocked carter offered him
some cherries. He thanked him, wondered why he refused to accept any money for
them, and began to eat them listlessly. They had been plucked at midnight, and
the coldness of the moon had entered into them. A long line of boys carrying
crates of striped tulips, and of yellow and red roses, defiled in front of him,
threading their way through the huge, jade-green piles of vegetables. Under the
portico, with its grey, sun-bleached pillars, loitered a troop of draggled
bareheaded girls, waiting for the auction to be over. Others crowded round the
swinging doors of the coffee-house in the piazza. The heavy cart-horses slipped
and stamped upon the rough stones, shaking their bells and trappings. Some of
the drivers were lying asleep on a pile of sacks. Iris-necked and pink-footed,
the pigeons ran about picking up seeds.
After a
little while, he hailed a hansom and drove home. For a few moments he loitered
upon the doorstep, looking round at the silent square, with its blank,
close-shuttered windows and its staring blinds. The sky was pure opal now, and
the roofs of the houses glistened like silver against it. From some chimney
opposite a thin wreath of smoke was rising. It curled, a violet riband, through
the nacre-coloured air.
In the huge
gilt Venetian lantern, spoil of some Doge’s barge, that hung from the ceiling
of the great, oak-panelled hall of entrance, lights were still burning from
three flickering jets: thin blue petals of flame they seemed, rimmed with white
fire. He turned them out and, having thrown his hat and cape on the table, passed
through the library towards the door of his bedroom, a large octagonal chamber
on the ground floor that, in his new-born feeling for luxury, he had just had
decorated for himself and hung with some curious Renaissance tapestries that
had been discovered stored in a disused attic at Selby Royal. As he was turning
the handle of the door, his eye fell upon the portrait Basil Hallward had
painted of him. He started back as if in surprise. Then he went on into his own
room, looking somewhat puzzled. After he had taken the button-hole out of his
coat, he seemed to hesitate. Finally, he came back, went over to the picture,
and examined it. In the dim arrested light that struggled through the
cream-coloured silk blinds, the face appeared to him to be a little changed.
The expression looked different. One would have said that there was a touch of
cruelty in the mouth. It was certainly strange.
He turned
round and, walking to the window, drew up the blind. The bright dawn flooded
the room and swept the fantastic shadows into dusky corners, where they lay
shuddering. But the strange expression that he had noticed in the face of the
portrait seemed to linger there, to be more intensified even. The quivering
ardent sunlight showed him the lines of cruelty round the mouth as clearly as
if he had been looking into a mirror after he had done some dreadful thing.
He winced
and, taking up from the table an oval glass framed in ivory Cupids, one of Lord
Henry’s many presents to him, glanced hurriedly into its polished depths. No
line like that warped his red lips. What did it mean?
He rubbed
his eyes, and came close to the picture, and examined it again. There were no
signs of any change when he looked into the actual painting, and yet there was
no doubt that the whole expression had altered. It was not a mere fancy of his
own. The thing was horribly apparent.
He threw
himself into a chair and began to think. Suddenly there flashed across his mind
what he had said in Basil Hallward’s studio the day the picture had been
finished. Yes, he remembered it perfectly. He had uttered a mad wish that he
himself might remain young, and the portrait grow old; that his own beauty
might be untarnished, and the face on the canvas bear the burden of his
passions and his sins; that the painted image might be seared with the lines of
suffering and thought, and that he might keep all the delicate bloom and
loveliness of his then just conscious boyhood. Surely his wish had not been
fulfilled? Such things were impossible. It seemed monstrous even to think of
them. And, yet, there was the picture before him, with the touch of cruelty in
the mouth.
Cruelty!
Had he been cruel? It was the girl’s fault, not his. He had dreamed of her as a
great artist, had given his love to her because he had thought her great. Then
she had disappointed him. She had been shallow and unworthy. And, yet, a
feeling of infinite regret came over him, as he thought of her lying at his
feet sobbing like a little child. He remembered with what callousness he had
watched her. Why had he been made like that? Why had such a soul been given to
him? But he had suffered also. During the three terrible hours that the play
had lasted, he had lived centuries of pain, aeon upon aeon of torture. His life
was well worth hers. She had marred him for a moment, if he had wounded her for
an age. Besides, women were better suited to bear sorrow than men. They lived
on their emotions. They only thought of their emotions. When they took lovers,
it was merely to have some one with whom they could have scenes. Lord Henry had
told him that, and Lord Henry knew what women were. Why should he trouble about
Sibyl Vane? She was nothing to him now.
But the
picture? What was he to say of that? It held the secret of his life, and told
his story. It had taught him to love his own beauty. Would it teach him to
loathe his own soul? Would he ever look at it again?
No; it was
merely an illusion wrought on the troubled senses. The horrible night that he
had passed had left phantoms behind it. Suddenly there had fallen upon his
brain that tiny scarlet speck that makes men mad. The picture had not changed.
It was folly to think so.
Yet it was
watching him, with its beautiful marred face and its cruel smile. Its bright
hair gleamed in the early sunlight. Its blue eyes met his own. A sense of
infinite pity, not for himself, but for the painted image of himself, came over
him. It had altered already, and would alter more. Its gold would wither into
grey. Its red and white roses would die. For every sin that he committed, a stain
would fleck and wreck its fairness. But he would not sin. The picture, changed
or unchanged, would be to him the visible emblem of conscience. He would resist
temptation. He would not see Lord Henry any more—would not, at any rate, listen
to those subtle poisonous theories that in Basil Hallward’s garden had first
stirred within him the passion for impossible things. He would go back to Sibyl
Vane, make her amends, marry her, try to love her again. Yes, it was his duty
to do so. She must have suffered more than he had. Poor child! He had been
selfish and cruel to her. The fascination that she had exercised over him would
return. They would be happy together. His life with her would be beautiful and
pure.
He got up
from his chair and drew a large screen right in front of the portrait,
shuddering as he glanced at it. “How horrible!” he murmured to himself, and he
walked across to the window and opened it. When he stepped out on to the grass,
he drew a deep breath. The fresh morning air seemed to drive away all his
sombre passions. He thought only of Sibyl. A faint echo of his love came back
to him. He repeated her name over and over again. The birds that were singing
in the dew-drenched garden seemed to be telling the flowers about her.
Chapter 8
It was long
past noon when he awoke. His valet had crept several times on tiptoe into the
room to see if he was stirring, and had wondered what made his young master
sleep so late. Finally his bell sounded, and Victor came in softly with a cup
of tea, and a pile of letters, on a small tray of old S “Monsieur has slept
well this morning,” he said, smiling.
“What
o’clock is it, Victor?” asked Dorian Gray drowsily.
“One hour
and a quarter, Monsieur.”
How late it
was! He sat up, and having sipped some tea, turned over his letters. One of
them was from Lord Henry, and had been brought by hand that morning. He
hesitated for a moment, and then put it aside. The others he opened listlessly.
They contained the usual collection of cards, invitations to dinner, tickets
for private views, programmes of charity concerts, and the like that are
showered on fashionable young men every morning during the season. There was a
rather heavy bill for a chased silver Louis-Quinze toilet-set that he had not
yet had the courage to send on to his guardians, who were extremely
old-fashioned people and did not realise that we live in an age when
unnecessary things are our only necessities; and there were several very
courteously worded communications from Jermyn Street money-lenders offering to
advance any sum of money at a moment’s notice and at the most reasonable rates
of interest.
After about
ten minutes he got up, and throwing on an elaborate dressing-gown of
silk-embroidered cashmere wool, passed into the onyx-paved bathroom. The cool
water refreshed him after his long sleep. He seemed to have forgotten all that
he had gone through. A dim sense of having taken part in some strange tragedy
came to him once or twice, but there was the unreality of a dream about it. As
soon as he was dressed, he went into the library and sat down to a light French
breakfast that had been laid out for him on a small round table close to the
open window. It was an exquisite day. The warm air seemed laden with spices. A
bee flew in and buzzed round the blue-dragon bowl that, filled with
sulphur-yellow roses, stood before him. He felt perfectly happy.
Suddenly
his eye fell on the screen that he had placed in front of the portrait, and he
started.
“Too cold
for Monsieur?” asked his valet, putting an omelette on the table. “I shut the
window?”
Dorian
shook his head. “I am not cold,” he murmured.
Was it all
true? Had the portrait really changed? Or had it been simply his own
imagination that had made him see a look of evil where there had been a look of
joy? Surely a painted canvas could not alter? The thing was absurd. It would
serve as a tale to tell Basil some day. It would make him smile.
And, yet,
how vivid was his recollection of the whole thing! First in the dim twilight,
and then in the bright dawn, he had seen the touch of cruelty round the warped
lips. He almost dreaded his valet leaving the room. He knew that when he was
alone he would have to examine the portrait. He was afraid of certainty. When
the coffee and cigarettes had been brought and the man turned to go, he felt a
wild desire to tell him to remain. As the door was closing behind him, he called
him back. The man stood waiting for his orders. Dorian looked at him for a
moment. “I am not at home to any one, Victor,” he said with a sigh. The man
bowed and retired.
Then he
rose from the table, lit a cigarette, and flung himself down on a luxuriously
cushioned couch that stood facing the screen. The screen was an old one, of
gilt Spanish leather, stamped and wrought with a rather florid Louis-Quatorze
pattern. He scanned it curiously, wondering if ever before it had concealed the
secret of a man’s life.
Should he
move it aside, after all? Why not let it stay there? What was the use of
knowing.? If the thing was true, it was terrible. If it was not true, why
trouble about it? But what if, by some fate or deadlier chance, eyes other than
his spied behind and saw the horrible change? What should he do if Basil
Hallward came and asked to look at his own picture? Basil would be sure to do
that. No; the thing had to be examined, and at once. Anything would be better
than this dreadful state of doubt.
He got up
and locked both doors. At least he would be alone when he looked upon the mask
of his shame. Then he drew the screen aside and saw himself face to face. It
was perfectly true. The portrait had altered.
As he often
remembered afterwards, and always with no small wonder, he found himself at
first gazing at the portrait with a feeling of almost scientific interest. That
such a change should have taken place was incredible to him. And yet it was a
fact. Was there some subtle affinity between the chemical atoms that shaped
themselves into form and colour on the canvas and the soul that was within him?
Could it be that what that soul thought, they realised?—that what it dreamed,
they made true? Or was there some other, more terrible reason? He shuddered,
and felt afraid, and, going back to the couch, lay there, gazing at the picture
in sickened horror.
One thing,
however, he felt that it had done for him. It had made him conscious how
unjust, how cruel, he had been to Sibyl Vane. It was not too late to make reparation
for that. She could still be his wife. His unreal and selfish love would yield
to some higher influence, would be transformed into some nobler passion, and
the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him would be a guide to him
through life, would be to him what holiness is to some, and conscience to
others, and the fear of God to us all. There were opiates for remorse, drugs
that could lull the moral sense to sleep. But here was a visible symbol of the
degradation of sin. Here was an ever-present sign of the ruin men brought upon
their souls.
Three
o’clock struck, and four, and the half-hour rang its double chime, but Dorian
Gray did not stir. He was trying to gather up the scarlet threads of life and
to weave them into a pattern; to find his way through the sanguine labyrinth of
passion through which he was wandering. He did not know what to do, or what to
think. Finally, he went over to the table and wrote a passionate letter to the
girl he had loved, imploring her forgiveness and accusing himself of madness.
He covered page after page with wild words of sorrow and wilder words of pain.
There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no
one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that
gives us absolution. When Dorian had finished the letter, he felt that he had
been forgiven.
Suddenly
there came a knock to the door, and he heard Lord Henry’s voice outside. “My
dear boy, I must see you. Let me in at once. I can’t bear your shutting
yourself up like this.”
He made no
answer at first, but remained quite still. The knocking still continued and
grew louder. Yes, it was better to let Lord Henry in, and to explain to him the
new life he was going to lead, to quarrel with him if it became necessary to quarrel,
to part if parting was inevitable. He jumped up, drew the screen hastily across
the picture, and unlocked the door.
“I am so
sorry for it all, Dorian,” said Lord Henry as he entered. “But you must not
think too much about it.”
“Do you
mean about Sibyl Vane?” asked the lad.
“Yes, of
course,” answered Lord Henry, sinking into a chair and slowly pulling off his
yellow gloves. “It is dreadful, from one point of view, but it was not your
fault. Tell me, did you go behind and see her, after the play was over?”
“Yes.”
“I felt
sure you had. Did you make a scene with her?”
“I was
brutal, Harry—perfectly brutal. But it is all right now. I am not sorry for
anything that has happened. It has taught me to know myself better.”
“Ah,
Dorian, I am so glad you take it in that way! I was afraid I would find you
plunged in remorse and tearing that nice curly hair of yours.”
“I have got
through all that,” said Dorian, shaking his head and smiling. “I am perfectly
happy now. I know what conscience is, to begin with. It is not what you told me
it was. It is the divinest thing in us. Don’t sneer at it, Harry, any more—at
least not before me. I want to be good. I can’t bear the idea of my soul being
hideous.”
“A very
charming artistic basis for ethics, Dorian!
congratulate
you on it. But how are you going to begin?”
“By
marrying Sibyl Vane.”
“Marrying
Sibyl Vane!” cried Lord Henry, standing up and looking at him in perplexed
amazement. “But, my dear Dorian—”
“Yes,
Harry, I know what you are going to say. Something dreadful about marriage.
Don’t say it. Don’t ever say things of that kind to me again. Two days ago I
asked Sibyl to marry me. I am not going to break my word to her. She is to be
my wife.”
“Your wife!
Dorian! . . . Didn’t you get my letter? I wrote to you this morning, and sent
the note down by my own man.”
“Your
letter? Oh, yes, I remember. I have not read it yet, Harry. I was afraid there
might be something in it that I wouldn’t like. You cut life to pieces with your
epigrams.”
“You know
nothing then?”
“What do
you mean?”
Lord Henry
walked across the room, and sitting down by Dorian Gray, took both his hands in
his own and held them tightly. “Dorian,” he said, “my letter—don’t be
frightened—was to tell you that Sibyl Vane is dead.”
A cry of
pain broke from the lad’s lips, and he leaped to his feet, tearing his hands
away from Lord Henry’s grasp. “Dead! Sibyl dead! It is not true! It is a
horrible lie! How dare you say it?”
“It is
quite true, Dorian,” said Lord Henry, gravely. “It is in all the morning papers.
I wrote down to you to ask you not to see any one till I came. There will have
to be an inquest, of course, and you must not be mixed up in it. Things like
that make a man fashionable in Paris. But in London people are so prejudiced.
Here, one should never make one’s d Dorian did not answer for a few moments. He
was dazed with horror. Finally he stammered, in a stifled voice, “Harry, did
you say an inquest? What did you mean by that? Did Sibyl—? Oh, Harry, I can’t
bear it! But be quick. Tell me everything at once.”
“I have no
doubt it was not an accident, Dorian, though it must be put in that way to the
public. It seems that as she was leaving the theatre with her mother, about
half-past twelve or so, she said she had forgotten something upstairs. They waited
some time for her, but she did not come down again. They ultimately found her
lying dead on the floor of her dressing-room. She had swallowed something by
mistake, some dreadful thing they use at theatres. I don’t know what it was,
but it had either prussic acid or white lead in it. I should fancy it was
prussic acid, as she seems to have died instantaneously.”
“Harry,
Harry, it is terrible!” cried the lad.
“Yes; it is
very tragic, of course, but you must not get yourself mixed up in it. I see by
The Standard that she was seventeen. I should have thought she was almost
younger than that. She looked such a child, and seemed to know so little about
acting. Dorian, you mustn’t let this thing get on your nerves. You must come
and dine with me, and afterwards we will look in at the opera. It is a Patti
night, and everybody will be there. You can come to my sister’s box. She has
got some smart women with her.”
“So I have
murdered Sibyl Vane,” said Dorian Gray, half to himself, “murdered her as
surely as if I had cut her little throat with a knife. Yet the roses are not
less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as happily in my garden. And
to-night I am to dine with you, and then go on to the opera, and sup somewhere,
I suppose, afterwards. How extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all
this in a book, Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it
has happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears. Here is
the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange, that
my first passionate love-letter should have been addressed to a dead girl. Can
they feel, I wonder, those white silent people we call the dead? Sibyl! Can she
feel, or know, or listen? Oh, Harry, how I loved her once! It seems years ago
to me now. She was everything to me. Then came that dreadful night—was it
really only last night?—when she played so badly, and my heart almost broke.
She explained it all to me. It was terribly pathetic. But I was not moved a
bit. I thought her shallow. Suddenly something happened that made me afraid. I
can’t tell you what it was, but it was terrible. I said I would go back to her.
I felt I had done wrong. And now she is dead. My God! My God! Harry, what shall
I do? You don’t know the danger I am in, and there is nothing to keep me
straight. She would have done that for me. She had no right to kill herself. It
was selfish of her.”
“My dear
Dorian,” answered Lord Henry, taking a cigarette from his case and producing a
gold-latten matchbox, “the only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring
him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. If you had
married this girl, you would have been wretched. Of course, you would have
treated her kindly. One can always be kind to people about whom one cares
nothing. But she would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent
to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes
dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband
has to pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, which would have been
abject—which, of course, I would not have allowed—but I assure you that in any
case the whole thing would have been an absolute failure.”
“I suppose
it would,” muttered the lad, walking up and down the room and looking horribly
pale. “But I thought it was my duty. It is not my fault that this terrible
tragedy has prevented my doing what was right. I remember your saying once that
there is a fatality about good resolutions—that they are always made too late.
Mine certainly were.”
“Good
resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their
origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil . They give us, now and
then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions that have a certain charm for
the weak. That is all that can be said for them. They are simply cheques that
men draw on a bank where they have no account.”
“Harry,”
cried Dorian Gray, coming over and sitting down beside him, “why is it that I
cannot feel this tragedy as much as I want to? I don’t think I am heartless. Do
you?”
“You have
done too many foolish things during the last fortnight to be entitled to give
yourself that name, Dorian,” answered Lord Henry with his sweet melancholy
smile.
The lad
frowned. “I don’t like that explanation, Harry,” he rejoined, “but I am glad
you don’t think I am heartless. I am nothing of the kind. I know I am not. And
yet I must admit that this thing that has happened does not affect me as it
should. It seems to me to be simply like a wonderful ending to a wonderful
play. It has all the terrible beauty of a Greek tragedy, a tragedy in which I
took a great part, but by which I have not been wounded.”
“It is an
interesting question,” said Lord Henry, who found an exquisite pleasure in playing
on the lad’s unconscious egotism, “an extremely interesting question. I fancy
that the true explanation is this: It often happens that the real tragedies of
life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude
violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their
entire lack of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us
an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that. Sometimes,
however, a tragedy that possesses artistic elements of beauty crosses our
lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to
our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are no longer the
actors, but the spectators of the play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves,
and the mere wonder of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is
it that has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I
wish that I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in love with
love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored me—there have not been
very many, but there have been some—have always insisted on living on, long
after I had ceased to care for them, or they to care for me. They have become
stout and tedious, and when I meet them, they go in at once for reminiscences.
That awful memory of woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter
intellectual stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the colour of life, but
one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.”
“I must sow
poppies in my garden,” sighed Dorian.
“There is
no necessity,” rejoined his companion. “Life has always poppies in her hands.
Of course, now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all
through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not
die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was
her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful
moment. It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well—would you believe it?—a
week ago, at Lady Hampshire’s, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady in
question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing again, and digging up
the past, and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.
She dragged it out again and assured me that I had spoiled her life. I am bound
to state that she ate an enormous dinner, so I did not feel any anxiety. But
what a lack of taste she showed! The one charm of the past is that it is the
past. But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a
sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over, they
propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every comedy would
have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are
charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art. You are more fortunate
than I am. I assure you, Dorian, that not one of the women I have known would
have done for me what Sibyl Vane did for you. Ordinary women always console
themselves. Some of them do it by going in for sentimental colours. Never trust
a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five
who is fond of pink ribbons. It always means that they have a history. Others
find a great consolation in suddenly discovering the good qualities of their
husbands. They flaunt their conjugal felicity in one’s face, as if it were the
most fascinating of sins. Religion consoles some. Its mysteries have all the
charm of a flirtation, a woman once told me, and I can quite understand it.
Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner.
Conscience makes egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the
consolations that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the
most important one.”
“What is
that, Harry?” said the lad listlessly. “Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking
some one else’s admirer when one loses one’s own. In good society that always
whitewashes a woman. But really, Dorian, how different Sibyl Vane must have
been from all the women one meets! There is something to me quite beautiful
about her death. I am glad I am living in a century when such wonders happen.
They make one believe in the reality of the things we all play with, such as
romance, passion, and love.”
“I was
terribly cruel to her. You forget that.”
“I am
afraid that women appreciate cruelty, downright cruelty, more than anything
else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but
they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same. They love being
dominated. I am sure you were splendid. I have never seen you really and
absolutely angry, but I can fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all,
you said something to me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time
to be merely fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it holds the
key to everything.”
“What was
that, Harry?”
“You said
to me that Sibyl Vane represented to you all the heroines of romance—that she
was Desdemona one night, and Ophelia the other; that if she died as Juliet, she
came to life as Imogen.”
“She will
never come to life again now,” muttered the lad, burying his face in his hands.
“No, she
will never come to life. She has played her last part. But you must think of that
lonely death in the tawdry dressing-room simply as a strange lurid fragment
from some Jacobean tragedy, as a wonderful scene from Webster, or Ford, or
Cyril Tourneur. The girl never really lived, and so she has never really died.
To you at least she was always a dream, a phantom that flitted through
Shakespeare’s plays and left them lovelier for its presence, a reed through
which Shakespeare’s music sounded richer and more full of joy. The moment she
touched actual life, she marred it, and it marred her, and so she passed away.
Mourn for Ophelia, if you like. Put ashes on your head because Cordelia was
strangled. Cry out against Heaven because the daughter of Brabantio died. But
don’t waste your tears over Sibyl Vane. She was less real than they are.”
There was a
silence. The evening darkened in the room. Noiselessly, and with silver feet,
the shadows crept in from the garden. The colours faded wearily out of things.
After some
time Dorian Gray looked up. “You have explained me to myself, Harry,” he murmured
with something of a sigh of relief. “I felt all that you have said, but somehow
I was afraid of it, and I could not express it to myself. How well you know me!
But we will not talk again of what has happened. It has been a marvellous
experience. That is all. I wonder if life has still in store for me anything as
marvellous.”
“Life has
everything in store for you, Dorian. There is nothing that you, with your
extraordinary good looks, will not be able to do.”
“But
suppose, Harry, I became haggard, and old, and wrinkled?
What then?”
“Ah, then,”
said Lord Henry, rising to go, “then, my dear Dorian, you would have to fight
for your victories. As it is, they are brought to you. No, you must keep your
good looks. We live in an age that reads too much to be wise, and that thinks
too much to be beautiful. We cannot spare you. And now you had better dress and
drive down to the club. We are rather late, as it is.”
“I think I
shall join you at the opera, Harry. I feel too tired to eat anything. What is
the number of your sister’s box?”
“Twenty-seven,
I believe. It is on the grand tier. You will see her name on the door. But I am
sorry you won’t come and dine.”
“I don’t
feel up to it,” said Dorian listlessly. “But I am awfully obliged to you for
all that you have said to me. You are certainly my best friend. No one has ever
understood me as you have.”
“We are
only at the beginning of our friendship, Dorian,” answered Lord Henry, shaking
him by the hand. “Good-bye. I shall see you before nine-thirty, I hope.
Remember, Patti is singing.”
As he closed
the door behind him, Dorian Gray touched the bell, and in a few minutes Victor
appeared with the lamps and drew the blinds down. He waited impatiently for him
to go. The man seemed to take an interminable time over everything.
As soon as
he had left, he rushed to the screen and drew it back. No; there was no further
change in the picture. It had received the news of Sibyl Vane’s death before he
had known of it himself. It was conscious of the events of life as they
occurred. The vicious cruelty that marred the fine lines of the mouth had, no
doubt, appeared at the very moment that the girl had drunk the poison, whatever
it was. Or was it indifferent to results? Did it merely take cognizance of what
passed within the soul? He wondered, and hoped that some day he would see the
change taking place before his very eyes, shuddering as he hoped it.
Poor Sibyl!
What a romance it had all been! She had often mimicked death on the stage. Then
Death himself had touched her and taken her with him. How had she played that
dreadful last scene? Had she cursed him, as she died? No; she had died for love
of him, and love would always be a sacrament to him now. She had atoned for
everything by the sacrifice she had made of her life. He would not think any
more of what she had made him go through, on that horrible night at the
theatre. When he thought of her, it would be as a wonderful tragic figure sent
on to the world’s stage to show the supreme reality of Love. A wonderful tragic
figure? Tears came to his eyes as he remembered her child-like look, and
winsome fanciful ways, and shy tremulous grace. He brushed them away hastily
and looked again at the picture.
He felt
that the time had really come for making his choice. Or had his choice already
been made? Yes, life had decided that for him—life, and his own infinite
curiosity about life. Eternal youth, infinite passion, pleasures subtle and
secret, wild joys and wilder sins—he was to have all these things. The portrait
was to bear the burden of his shame: that was all.
A feeling
of pain crept over him as he thought of the desecration that was in store for
the fair face on the canvas. Once, in boyish mockery of Narcissus, he had
kissed, or feigned to kiss, those painted lips that now smiled so cruelly at
him. Morning after morning he had sat before the portrait wondering at its
beauty, almost enamoured of it, as it seemed to him at times. Was it to alter
now with every mood to which he yielded? Was it to become a monstrous and
loathsome thing, to be hidden away in a locked room, to be shut out from the
sunlight that had so often touched to brighter gold the waving wonder of its
hair? The pity of it! the pity of it!
For a
moment, he thought of praying that the horrible sympathy that existed between
him and the picture might cease. It had changed in answer to a prayer; perhaps
in answer to a prayer it might remain unchanged. And yet, who, that knew
anything about life, would surrender the chance of remaining always young,
however fantastic that chance might be, or with what fateful consequences it
might be fraught? Besides, was it really under his control? Had it indeed been
prayer that had produced the substitution? Might there not be some curious
scientific reason for it all? If thought could exercise its influence upon a
living organism, might not thought exercise an influence upon dead and
inorganic things? Nay, without thought or conscious desire, might not things
external to ourselves vibrate in unison with our moods and passions, atom
calling to atom in secret love or strange affinity? But the reason was of no
importance. He would never again tempt by a prayer any terrible power. If the
picture was to alter, it was to alter. That was all. Why inquire too closely
into it?
For there
would be a real pleasure in watching it. He would be able to follow his mind
into its secret places. This portrait would be to him the most magical of
mirrors. As it had revealed to him his own body, so it would reveal to him his
own soul. And when winter came upon it, he would still be standing where spring
trembles on the verge of summer. When the blood crept from its face, and left
behind a pallid mask of chalk with leaden eyes, he would keep the glamour of
boyhood. Not one blossom of his loveliness would ever fade. Not one pulse of
his life would ever weaken. Like the gods of the Greeks, he would be strong,
and fleet, and joyous. What did it matter what happened to the coloured image
on the canvas? He would be safe. That was everything.
He drew the
screen back into its former place in front of the picture, smiling as he did
so, and passed into his bedroom, where his valet was already waiting for him.
An hour later he was at the opera, and Lord Henry was leaning over his chair.
Chapter 9
As he was
sitting at breakfast next morning, Basil Hallward was shown into the room. “I
am so glad I have found you, Dorian,” he said gravely. “I called last night,
and they told me you were at the opera. Of course, I knew that was impossible.
But I wish you had left word where you had really gone to. I passed a dreadful
evening, half afraid that one tragedy might be followed by another. I think you
might have telegraphed for me when you heard of it first. I read of it quite by
chance in a late edition of The Globe that I picked up at the club. I came here
at once and was miserable at not finding you. I can’t tell you how heart-broken
I am about the whole thing. I know what you must suffer. But where were you?
Did you go down and see the girl’s mother? For a moment I thought of following
you there. They gave the address in the paper. Somewhere in the Euston Road,
isn’t it? But I was afraid of intruding upon a sorrow that I could not lighten.
Poor woman! What a state she must be in! And her only child, too! What did she
say about it all?”
“My dear
Basil, how do I know?” murmured Dorian Gray, sipping some pale-yellow wine from
a delicate, gold-beaded bubble of Venetian glass and looking dreadfully bored.
“I was at the Opera. You should have come on there. I met Lady Gwendolen,
Harry’s sister, for the first time. We were in her box. She is perfectly
charming; and Patti sang divinely. Don’t talk about horrid subjects. If one
doesn’t talk about a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as
Harry says, that gives reality to things. I may mention that she was not the
woman’s only child. There is a son, a charming fellow, I believe. But he is not
on the stage. He is a sailor, or something. And now, tell me about yourself and
what you are painting.”
“You went
to the Opera?” said Hallward, speaking very slowly and with a strained touch of
pain in his voice. “You went to the Opera while Sibyl Vane was lying dead in
some sordid lodging? You can talk to me of other women being charming, and of
Patti singing divinely, before the girl you loved has even the quiet of a grave
to sleep in? Why, man, there are horrors in store for that little white body of
hers!”
“Stop, Basil!
I won’t hear it!” cried Dorian, leaping to his feet. “You must not tell me
about things. What is done is done. What is past is past.”
“You call
yesterday the past?”
“What has
the actual lapse of time got to do with it? It is only shallow people who require
years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow
as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my
emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
“Dorian,
this is horrible! Something has changed you completely. You look exactly the
same wonderful boy who, day after day, used to come down to my studio to sit
for his picture. But you were simple, natural, and affectionate then. You were
the most unspoiled creature in the whole world. Now, I don’t know what has come
over you. You talk as if you had no heart, no pity in you. It is all Harry’s
influence. I see that.”
The lad
flushed up and, going to the window, looked out for a few moments on the green,
flickering, sun-lashed garden. “I owe a great deal to Harry, Basil,” he said at
last, “more than I owe to
you. You
only taught me to be vain.”
“Well, I am
punished for that, Dorian—or shall be some day.”
“I don’t
know what you mean, Basil,” he exclaimed, turning round. “I don’t know what you
want. What do you want?”
“I want the
Dorian Gray I used to paint,” said the artist sadly.
“Basil,”
said the lad, going over to him and putting his hand on his shoulder, “you have
come too late. Yesterday, when I heard that Sibyl Vane had killed herself—”
“Killed
herself! Good heavens! is there no doubt about that?” cried Hallward, looking
up at him with an expression of horror.
“My dear
Basil! Surely you don’t think it was a vulgar accident? Of course she killed
herself.”
The elder
man buried his face in his hands. “How fearful,” he muttered, and a shudder ran
through him.
“No,” said
Dorian Gray, “there is nothing fearful about it. It is one of the great
romantic tragedies of the age. As a rule, people who act lead the most
commonplace lives. They are good husbands, or faithful wives, or something
tedious. You know what I mean—middle-class virtue and all that kind of thing.
How different Sibyl was! She lived her finest tragedy. She was always a
heroine. The last night she played—the night you saw her—she acted badly
because she had known the reality of love. When she knew its unreality, she
died, as Juliet might have died. She passed again into the sphere of art. There
is something of the martyr about her. Her death has all the pathetic
uselessness of martyrdom, all its wasted beauty. But, as I was saying, you must
not think I have not suffered. If you had come in yesterday at a particular
moment—about half-past five, perhaps, or a quarter to six—you would have found
me in tears. Even Harry, who was here, who brought me the news, in fact, had no
idea what I was going through. I suffered immensely. Then it passed away. I
cannot repeat an emotion. No one can, except sentimentalists. And you are
awfully unjust, Basil. You come down here to console me. That is charming of
you. You find me consoled, and you are furious. How like a sympathetic person!
You remind me of a story Harry told me about a certain philanthropist who spent
twenty years of his life in trying to get some grievance redressed, or some
unjust law altered—I forget exactly what it was. Finally he succeeded, and
nothing could exceed his disappointment. He had absolutely nothing to do,
almost died of ennui , and became a confirmed misanthrope. And besides, my dear
old Basil, if you really want to console me, teach me rather to forget what has
happened, or to see it from a proper artistic point of view. Was it not Gautier
who used to write about la consolation des arts ? I remember picking up a
little vellum-covered book in your studio one day and chancing on that
delightful phrase. Well, I am not like that young man you told me of when we
were down at Marlow together, the young man who used to say that yellow satin
could console one for all the miseries of life. I love beautiful things that
one can touch and handle. Old brocades, green bronzes, lacquer-work, carved
ivories, exquisite surroundings, luxury, pomp—there is much to be got from all
these. But the artistic temperament that they create, or at any rate reveal, is
still more to me. To become the spectator of one’s own life, as Harry says, is
to escape the suffering of life. I know you are surprised at my talking to you
like this. You have not realised how I have developed. I was a schoolboy when
you knew me. I am a man now. I have new passions, new thoughts, new ideas. I am
different, but you must not like me less. I am changed, but you must always be
my friend. Of course, I am very fond of Harry. But I know that you are better
than he is. You are not stronger—you are too much afraid of life—but you are
better. And how happy we used to be together! Don’t leave me, Basil, and don’t
quarrel with me. I am what I am. There is nothing more to be said.”
The painter
felt strangely moved. The lad was infinitely dear to him, and his personality
had been the great turning point in his art. He could not bear the idea of
reproaching him any more. After all, his indifference was probably merely a
mood that would pass away. There was so much in him that was good, so much in
him that was noble.
“Well,
Dorian,” he said at length, with a sad smile, “I won’t speak to you again about
this horrible thing, after to-day. I only trust your name won’t be mentioned in
connection with it. The inquest is to take place this afternoon. Have they
summoned you?”
Dorian
shook his head, and a look of annoyance passed over his face at the mention of
the word “inquest.” There was something so crude and vulgar about everything of
the kind. “They don’t know my name,” he answered.
“But surely
she did?”
“Only my
Christian name, and that I am quite sure she never mentioned to any one. She
told me once that they were all rather curious to learn who I was, and that she
invariably told them my name was Prince Charming. It was pretty of her. You
must do me a drawing of Sibyl, Basil. I should like to have something more of
her than the memory of a few kisses and some broken pathetic words.”
“I will try
and do something, Dorian, if it would please you. But you must come and sit to
me yourself again. I can’t get on without you.”
“I can
never sit to you again, Basil. It is impossible!” he exclaimed, starting back.
The painter
stared at him. “My dear boy, what nonsense!” he cried. “Do you mean to say you
don’t like what I did of you? Where is it? Why have you pulled the screen in
front of it? Let me look at it. It is the best thing I have ever done. Do take
the screen away, Dorian. It is simply disgraceful of your servant hiding my
work like that. I felt the room looked different as I came in.”
“My servant
has nothing to do with it, Basil. You don’t imagine I let him arrange my room
for me? He settles my flowers for me sometimes—that is all. No; I did it
myself. The light was too strong on the portrait.”
“Too
strong! Surely not, my dear fellow? It is an admirable place for it. Let me see
it.” And Hallward walked towards the corner of the room.
A cry of
terror broke from Dorian Gray’s lips, and he rushed between the painter and the
screen. “Basil,” he said, looking very pale, “you must not look at it. I don’t
wish you to.”
“Not look
at my own work! You are not serious. Why shouldn’t I look at it?” exclaimed
Hallward, laughing.
“If you try
to look at it, Basil, on my word of honour I will never speak to you again as
long as I live. I am quite serious. I don’t offer any explanation, and you are
not to ask for any. But, remember, if you touch this screen, everything is over
between us.”
Hallward
was thunderstruck. He looked at Dorian Gray in absolute amazement. He had never
seen him like this before. The lad was actually pallid with rage. His hands
were clenched, and the pupils of his eyes were like disks of blue fire. He was
trembling all over.
“Dorian!”
“Don’t
speak!”
“But what
is the matter? Of course I won’t look at it if you don’t want me to,” he said,
rather coldly, turning on his heel and going over towards the window. “But,
really, it seems rather absurd that I shouldn’t see my own work, especially as
I am going to exhibit it in Paris in the autumn. I shall probably have to give
it another coat of varnish before that, so I must see it some day, and why not
to-day?”
“To exhibit
it! You want to exhibit it?” exclaimed Dorian Gray, a strange sense of terror
creeping over him. Was the world going to be shown his secret? Were people to
gape at the mystery of his life? That was impossible. Something—he did not know
what—had to be done at once.
“Yes; I
don’t suppose you will object to that. Georges Petit is going to collect all my
best pictures for a special exhibition in the Rue de S Dorian Gray passed his
hand over his forehead. There were beads of perspiration there. He felt that he
was on the brink of a horrible danger. “You told me a month ago that you would
never exhibit it,” he cried. “Why have you changed your mind? You people who go
in for being consistent have just as many moods as others have. The only
difference is that your moods are rather meaningless. You can’t have forgotten
that you assured me most solemnly that nothing in the world would induce you to
send it to any exhibition. You told Harry exactly the same thing.” He stopped
suddenly, and a gleam of light came into his eyes. He remembered that Lord
Henry had said to him once, half seriously and half in jest, “If you want to
have a strange quarter of an hour, get Basil to tell you why he won’t exhibit
your picture. He told me why he wouldn’t, and it was a revelation to me.” Yes,
perhaps Basil, too, had his secret. He would ask him and try.
“Basil,” he
said, coming over quite close and looking him straight in the face, “we have
each of us a secret. Let me know yours, and I shall tell you mine. What was
your reason for refusing to exhibit my picture?”
The painter
shuddered in spite of himself. “Dorian, if I told you, you might like me less
than you do, and you would certainly laugh at me. I could not bear your doing
either of those two things. If you wish me never to look at your picture again,
I am content. I have always you to look at. If you wish the best work I have
ever done to be hidden from the world, I am satisfied. Your friendship is
dearer to me than any fame or reputation.”
“No, Basil,
you must tell me,” insisted Dorian Gray. “I think I have a right to know.” His
feeling of terror had passed away, and curiosity had taken its place. He was
determined to find out Basil Hallward’s mystery.
“Let us sit
down, Dorian,” said the painter, looking troubled. “Let us sit down. And just
answer me one question. Have you noticed in the picture something
curious?—something that probably at first did not strike you, but that revealed
itself to you suddenly?”
“Basil!”
cried the lad, clutching the arms of his chair with trembling hands and gazing
at him with wild startled eyes.
“I see you
did. Don’t speak. Wait till you hear what I have to say. Dorian, from the
moment I met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over
me. I was dominated, soul, brain, and power, by you. You became to me the
visible incarnation of that unseen ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an
exquisite dream. I worshipped you. I grew jealous of every one to whom you
spoke. I wanted to have you all to myself. I was only happy when I was with
you. When you were away from me, you were still present in my art. . . . Of
course, I never let you know anything about this. It would have been
impossible. You would not have understood it. I hardly understood it myself. I
only knew that I had seen perfection face to face, and that the world had become
wonderful to my eyes—too wonderful, perhaps, for in such mad worships there is
peril, the peril of losing them, no less than the peril of keeping them. . . .
Weeks and weeks went on, and I grew more and more absorbed in you. Then came a
new development. I had drawn you as Paris in dainty armour, and as Adonis with
huntsman’s cloak and polished boar-spear. Crowned with heavy lotus-blossoms you
had sat on the prow of Adrian’s barge, gazing across the green turbid Nile. You
had leaned over the still pool of some Greek woodland and seen in the water’s
silent silver the marvel of your own face. And it had all been what art should
be—unconscious, ideal, and remote. One day, a fatal day I sometimes think, I
determined to paint a wonderful portrait of you as you actually are, not in the
costume of dead ages, but in your own dress and in your own time. Whether it
was the realism of the method, or the mere wonder of your own personality, thus
directly presented to me without mist or veil, I cannot tell. But I know that
as I worked at it, every flake and film of colour seemed to me to reveal my
secret. I grew afraid that others would know of my idolatry. I felt, Dorian,
that I had told too much, that I had put too much of myself into it. Then it
was that I resolved never to allow the picture to be exhibited. You were a
little annoyed; but then you did not realise all that it meant to me. Harry, to
whom I talked about it, laughed at me. But I did not mind that. When the
picture was finished, and I sat alone with it, I felt that I was right. . . .
Well, after a few days the thing left my studio, and as soon as I had got rid
of the intolerable fascination of its presence, it seemed to me that I had been
foolish in imagining that I had seen anything in it, more than that you were
extremely good-looking and that I could paint. Even now I cannot help feeling
that it is a mistake to think that the passion one feels in creation is ever
really shown in the work one creates. Art is always more abstract than we
fancy. Form and colour tell us of form and colour—that is all. It often seems
to me that art conceals the artist far more completely than it ever reveals
him. And so when I got this offer from Paris, I determined to make your
portrait the principal thing in my exhibition. It never occurred to me that you
would refuse. I see now that you were right. The picture cannot be shown. You
must not be angry with me, Dorian, for what I have told you. As I said to
Harry, once, you are made to be worshipped.”
Dorian Gray
drew a long breath. The colour came back to his cheeks, and a smile played
about his lips. The peril was over. He was safe for the time. Yet he could not
help feeling infinite pity for the painter who had just made this strange
confession to him, and wondered if he himself would ever be so dominated by the
personality of a friend. Lord Henry had the charm of being very dangerous. But
that was all. He was too clever and too cynical to be really fond of. Would
there ever be some one who would fill him with a strange idolatry? Was that one
of the things that life had in store?
“It is
extraordinary to me, Dorian,” said Hallward, “that you should have seen this in
the portrait. Did you really see it?”
“I saw
something in it,” he answered, “something that seemed to me very curious.”
“Well, you
don’t mind my looking at the thing now?”
Dorian
shook his head. “You must not ask me that, Basil. I could not possibly let you
stand in front of that picture.”
“You will
some day, surely?”
“Never.”
“Well,
perhaps you are right. And now good-bye, Dorian. You have been the one person
in my life who has really influenced my art. Whatever I have done that is good,
I owe to you. Ah! you don’t know what it cost me to tell you all that I have
told you.”
“My dear
Basil,” said Dorian, “what have you told me? Simply that you felt that you
admired me too much. That is not even a compliment.”
“It was not
intended as a compliment. It was a confession. Now that I have made it,
something seems to have gone out of me. Perhaps one should never put one’s
worship into words.”
“It was a
very disappointing confession.”
“Why, what
did you expect, Dorian? You didn’t see anything else in the picture, did you?
There was nothing else to see?”
“No; there
was nothing else to see. Why do you ask? But you mustn’t talk about worship. It
is foolish. You and I are friends,
Basil, and
we must always remain so.”
“You have
got Harry,” said the painter sadly.
“Oh,
Harry!” cried the lad, with a ripple of laughter. “Harry spends his days in
saying what is incredible and his evenings in doing what is improbable. Just
the sort of life I would like to lead. But still I don’t think I would go to
Harry if I were in trouble. I would sooner go to you, Basil.”
“You will
sit to me again?”
“Impossible!”
“You spoil
my life as an artist by refusing, Dorian. No man comes across two ideal things.
Few come across one.”
“I can’t
explain it to you, Basil, but I must never sit to you again. There is something
fatal about a portrait. It has a life of its own. I will come and have tea with
you. That will be just as pleasant.”
“Pleasanter
for you, I am afraid,” murmured Hallward regretfully. “And now good-bye. I am
sorry you won’t let me look at the picture once again. But that can’t be
helped. I quite understand what you feel about it.”
As he left
the room, Dorian Gray smiled to himself. Poor Basil! How little he knew of the
true reason! And bow strange it was that, instead of having been forced to
reveal his own secret, he had succeeded, almost by chance, in wresting a secret
from his friend! How much that strange confession explained to him! The
painter’s absurd fits of jealousy, his wild devotion, his extravagant
panegyrics, his curious reticences—he understood them all now, and he felt
sorry. There seemed to him to be something tragic in a friendship so coloured
by romance.
He sighed
and touched the bell. The portrait must be hidden away at all costs. He could
not run such a risk of discovery again. It had been mad of him to have allowed
the thing to remain, even for an hour, in a room to which any of his friends
had access.
Chapter 10
When his
servant entered, be looked at him steadfastly and wondered if he had thought of
peering behind the screen. The man was quite impassive and waited for his
orders. Dorian lit a cigarette and walked over to the glass and glanced into
it. He could see the reflection of Victor’s face perfectly. It was like a
placid mask of servility. There was nothing to be afraid of, there. Yet he
thought it best to be on his guard.
Speaking
very slowly, he told him to tell the house-keeper that he wanted to see her,
and then to go to the frame-maker and ask him to send two of his men round at
once. It seemed to him that as the man left the room his eyes wandered in the
direction of the screen. Or was that merely his own fancy?
After a few
moments, in her black silk dress, with old-fashioned thread mittens on her
wrinkled hands, Mrs. Leaf bustled into the library. He asked her for the key of
the schoolroom.
“The old
schoolroom, Mr. Dorian?” she exclaimed. “Why, it is full of dust. I must get it
arranged and put straight before you go into it. It is not fit for you to see,
sir. It is not, indeed.”
“I don’t
want it put straight, Leaf. I only want the key.”
“Well, sir,
you’ll be covered with cobwebs if you go into it. Why, it hasn’t been opened
for nearly five years—not since his lordship died.”
He winced
at the mention of his grandfather. He had hateful memories of him. “That does
not matter,” he answered. “I simply want to see the place—that is all. Give me
the key.”
“And here
is the key, sir,” said the old lady, going over the contents of her bunch with
tremulously uncertain hands. “Here is the key. I’ll have it off the bunch in a
moment. But you don’t think of living up there, sir, and you so comfortable
here?”
“No, no,”
he cried petulantly. “Thank you, Leaf. That will do.”
She
lingered for a few moments, and was garrulous over some detail of the
household. He sighed and told her to manage things as she thought best. She
left the room, wreathed in smiles.
As the door
closed, Dorian put the key in his pocket and looked round the room. His eye
fell on a large, purple satin coverlet heavily embroidered with gold, a
splendid piece of late seventeenth-century Venetian work that his grandfather
had found in a convent near Bologna. Yes, that would serve to wrap the dreadful
thing in. It had perhaps served often as a pall for the dead. Now it was to
hide something that had a corruption of its own, worse than the corruption of
death itself—something that would breed horrors and yet would never die. What
the worm was to the corpse, his sins would be to the painted image on the
canvas. They would mar its beauty and eat away its grace. They would defile it
and make it shameful. And yet the thing would still live on. It would be always
alive.
He
shuddered, and for a moment he regretted that he had not told Basil the true
reason why he had wished to hide the picture away. Basil would have helped him
to resist Lord Henry’s influence, and the still more poisonous influences that
came from his own temperament. The love that he bore him—for it was really
love—had nothing in it that was not noble and intellectual. It was not that
mere physical admiration of beauty that is born of the senses and that dies
when the senses tire. It was such love as Michel Angelo had known, and
Montaigne, and Winckelmann, and Shakespeare himself. Yes, Basil could have
saved him. But it was too late now. The past could always be annihilated.
Regret, denial, or forgetfulness could do that. But the future was inevitable.
There were passions in him that would find their terrible outlet, dreams that
would make the shadow of their evil real.
He took up
from the couch the great purple-and-gold texture that covered it, and, holding
it in his hands, passed behind the screen. Was the face on the canvas viler
than before? It seemed to him that it was unchanged, and yet his loathing of it
was intensified. Gold hair, blue eyes, and rose-red lips—they all were there.
It was simply the expression that had altered. That was horrible in its
cruelty. Compared to what he saw in it of censure or rebuke, how shallow
Basil’s reproaches about Sibyl Vane had been!—how shallow, and of what little
account! His own soul was looking out at him from the canvas and calling him to
judgement. A look of pain came across him, and he flung the rich pall over the
picture. As he did so, a knock came to the door. He passed out as his servant
entered.
“The
persons are here, Monsieur.”
He felt
that the man must be got rid of at once. He must not be allowed to know where
the picture was being taken to. There was something sly about him, and he had
thoughtful, treacherous eyes. Sitting down at the writing-table he scribbled a
note to Lord Henry, asking him to send him round something to read and
reminding him that they were to meet at eight-fifteen that evening.
“Wait for
an answer,” he said, handing it to him, “and show the men in here.”
In two or
three minutes there was another knock, and Mr.
Hubbard
himself, the celebrated frame-maker of South Audley Street, came in with a
somewhat rough-looking young assistant. Mr. Hubbard was a florid, red-whiskered
little man, whose admiration for art was considerably tempered by the
inveterate impecuniosity of most of the artists who dealt with him. As a rule,
he never left his shop. He waited for people to come to him. But he always made
an exception in favour of Dorian Gray. There was something about Dorian that
charmed everybody. It was a pleasure even to see him.
“What can I
do for you, Mr. Gray?” he said, rubbing his fat freckled hands. “I thought I
would do myself the honour of coming round in person. I have just got a beauty
of a frame, sir. Picked it up at a sale. Old Florentine. Came from Fonthill, I
believe. Admirably suited for a religious subject, Mr. Gray.”
“I am so
sorry you have given yourself the trouble of coming round, Mr. Hubbard. I shall
certainly drop in and look at the frame—though I don’t go in much at present
for religious art—but to-day I only want a picture carried to the top of the
house for me. It is rather heavy, so I thought I would ask you to lend me a
couple of your men.”
“No trouble
at all, Mr. Gray. I am delighted to be of any service to you. Which is the work
of art, sir?”
“This,”
replied Dorian, moving the screen back. “Can you move it, covering and all,
just as it is? I don’t want it to get scratched going upstairs.”
“There will
be no difficulty, sir,” said the genial frame-maker, beginning, with the aid of
his assistant, to unhook the picture from the long brass chains by which it was
suspended. “And, now, where shall we carry it to, Mr. Gray?”
“I will
show you the way, Mr. Hubbard, if you will kindly follow me. Or perhaps you had
better go in front. I am afraid it is right at the top of the house. We will go
up by the front staircase, as it is wider.”
He held the
door open for them, and they passed out into the hall and began the ascent. The
elaborate character of the frame had made the picture extremely bulky, and now
and then, in spite of the obsequious protests of Mr. Hubbard, who had the true
tradesman’s spirited dislike of seeing a gentleman doing anything useful,
Dorian put his hand to it so as to help them.
“Something
of a load to carry, sir,” gasped the little man when they reached the top
landing. And he wiped his shiny forehead.
“I am
afraid it is rather heavy,” murmured Dorian as he unlocked the door that opened
into the room that was to keep for him the curious secret of his life and hide
his soul from the eyes of men.
He had not
entered the place for more than four years—not, indeed, since he had used it
first as a play-room when he was a child, and then as a study when he grew
somewhat older. It was a large, well-proportioned room, which had been
specially built by the last Lord Kelso for the use of the little grandson whom,
for his strange likeness to his mother, and also for other reasons, he had
always hated and desired to keep at a distance. It appeared to Dorian to have
but little changed. There was the huge Italian cassone , with its fantastically
painted panels and its tarnished gilt mouldings, in which he had so often
hidden himself as a boy. There the satinwood book-case filled with his
dog-eared schoolbooks. On the wall behind it was hanging the same ragged
Flemish tapestry where a faded king and queen were playing chess in a garden, while
a company of hawkers rode by, carrying hooded birds on their gauntleted wrists.
How well he remembered it all! Every moment of his lonely childhood came back
to him as he looked round. He recalled the stainless purity of his boyish life,
and it seemed horrible to him that it was here the fatal portrait was to be
hidden away. How little he had thought, in those dead days, of all that was in
store for him!
But there
was no other place in the house so secure from prying eyes as this. He had the
key, and no one else could enter it. Beneath its purple pall, the face painted
on the canvas could grow bestial, sodden, and unclean. What did it matter? No
one could see it. He himself would not see it. Why should he watch the hideous
corruption of his soul? He kept his youth—that was enough. And, besides, might
not his nature grow finer, after all? There was no reason that the future
should be so full of shame. Some love might come across his life, and purify
him, and shield him from those sins that seemed to be already stirring in
spirit and in flesh—those curious unpictured sins whose very mystery lent them
their subtlety and their charm. Perhaps, some day, the cruel look would have
passed away from the scarlet sensitive mouth, and he might show to the world Basil
Hallward’s masterpiece.
No; that
was impossible. Hour by hour, and week by week, the thing upon the canvas was
growing old. It might escape the hideousness of sin, but the hideousness of age
was in store for it. The cheeks would become hollow or flaccid. Yellow crow’s
feet would creep round the fading eyes and make them horrible. The hair would
lose its brightness, the mouth would gape or droop, would be foolish or gross,
as the mouths of old men are. There would be the wrinkled throat, the cold,
blue-veined hands, the twisted body, that he remembered in the grandfather who
had been so stern to him in his boyhood. The picture had to be concealed. There
was no help for it.
“Bring it
in, Mr. Hubbard, please,” he said, wearily, turning round. “I am sorry I kept
you so long. I was thinking of something else.”
“Always
glad to have a rest, Mr. Gray,” answered the frame-maker, who was still gasping
for breath. “Where shall we put it, sir?”
“Oh,
anywhere. Here: this will do. I don’t want to have it hung up. Just lean it
against the wall. Thanks.”
“Might one
look at the work of art, sir?”
Dorian
started. “It would not interest you, Mr. Hubbard,” he said, keeping his eye on
the man. He felt ready to leap upon him and fling him to the ground if he dared
to lift the gorgeous hanging that concealed the secret of his life. “I shan’t
trouble you any more now. I am much obliged for your kindness in coming round.”
“Not at
all, not at all, Mr. Gray. Ever ready to do anything for you, sir.” And Mr.
Hubbard tramped downstairs, followed by the assistant, who glanced back at
Dorian with a look of shy wonder in his rough uncomely face. He had never seen
any one so marvellous.
When the
sound of their footsteps had died away, Dorian locked the door and put the key
in his pocket. He felt safe now. No one would ever look upon the horrible
thing. No eye but his would ever see his shame.
On reaching
the library, he found that it was just after five o’clock and that the tea had
been already brought up. On a little table of dark perfumed wood thickly
incrusted with nacre, a present from Lady Radley, his guardian’s wife, a pretty
professional invalid who had spent the preceding winter in Cairo, was lying a
note from Lord Henry, and beside it was a book bound in yellow paper, the cover
slightly torn and the edges soiled. A copy of the third edition of The St.
James’s Gazette had been placed on the tea-tray. It was evident that Victor had
returned. He wondered if he had met the men in the hall as they were leaving
the house and had wormed out of them what they had been doing. He would be sure
to miss the picture—had no doubt missed it already, while he had been laying
the tea-things. The screen had not been set back, and a blank space was visible
on the wall. Perhaps some night he might find him creeping upstairs and trying
to force the door of the room. It was a horrible thing to have a spy in one’s
house. He had heard of rich men who had been blackmailed all their lives by
some servant who had read a letter, or overheard a conversation, or picked up a
card with an address, or found beneath a pillow a withered flower or a shred of
crumpled lace.
He sighed,
and having poured himself out some tea, opened Lord Henry’s note. It was simply
to say that he sent him round the evening paper, and a book that might interest
him, and that he would be at the club at eight-fifteen. He opened The St.
James’s languidly, and looked through it. A red pencil-mark on the fifth page
caught his eye. It drew attention to the following paragraph:
INQUEST ON
AN ACTRESS.—An inquest was held this morning at the Bell Tavern, Hoxton Road,
by Mr. Danby, the District Coroner, on the body of Sibyl Vane, a young actress
recently engaged at the Royal Theatre, Holborn. A verdict of death by
misadventure was returned. Considerable sympathy was expressed for the mother
of the deceased, who was greatly affected during the giving of her own
evidence, and that of Dr. Birrell, who had made the post-mortem examination of
the deceased.
He frowned,
and tearing the paper in two, went across the room and flung the pieces away.
How ugly it all was! And how horribly real ugliness made things! He felt a
little annoyed with Lord Henry for having sent him the report. And it was
certainly stupid of him to have marked it with red pencil. Victor might have
read it. The man knew more than enough English for that.
Perhaps he
had read it and had begun to suspect something. And, yet, what did it matter?
What had Dorian Gray to do with Sibyl Vane’s death? There was nothing to fear.
Dorian Gray had not killed her.
His eye
fell on the yellow book that Lord Henry had sent him. What was it, he wondered.
He went towards the little, pearl-coloured octagonal stand that had always
looked to him like the work of some strange Egyptian bees that wrought in
silver, and taking up the volume, flung himself into an arm-chair and began to
turn over the leaves. After a few minutes he became absorbed. It was the
strangest book that he had ever read. It seemed to him that in exquisite
raiment, and to the delicate sound of flutes, the sins of the world were
passing in dumb show before him. Things that he had dimly dreamed of were
suddenly made real to him. Things of which he had never dreamed were gradually
revealed.
It was a
novel without a plot and with only one character, being, indeed, simply a
psychological study of a certain young Parisian who spent his life trying to
realise in the nineteenth century all the passions and modes of thought that
belonged to every century except his own, and to sum up, as it were, in himself
the various moods through which the world-spirit had ever passed, loving for
their mere artificiality those renunciations that men have unwisely called
virtue, as much as those natural rebellions that wise men still call sin. The
style in which it was written was that curious jewelled style, vivid and
obscure at once, full of argot and of archaisms, of technical expressions and
of elaborate paraphrases, that characterises the work of some of the finest
artists of the French school of Symbolistes . There were in it metaphors as
monstrous as orchids and as subtle in colour. The life of the senses was
described in the terms of mystical philosophy. One hardly knew at times whether
one was reading the spiritual ecstasies of some mediaeval saint or the morbid
confessions of a modern sinner. It was a poisonous book. The heavy odour of
incense seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain. The mere
cadence of the sentences, the subtle monotony of their music, so full as it was
of complex refrains and movements elaborately repeated, produced in the mind of
the lad, as he passed from chapter to chapter, a form of reverie, a malady of
dreaming, that made him unconscious of the falling day and creeping shadows.
Cloudless,
and pierced by one solitary star, a copper-green sky gleamed through the
windows. He read on by its wan light till he could read no more. Then, after
his valet had reminded him several times of the lateness of the hour, he got
up, and going into the next room, placed the book on the little Florentine
table that always stood at his bedside and began to dress for dinner.
It was
almost nine o’clock before he reached the club, where he found Lord Henry
sitting alone, in the morning-room, looking very much bored.
“I am so
sorry, Harry,” he cried, “but really it is entirely your fault. That book you
sent me so fascinated me that I forgot how the time was going.”
“Yes, I
thought you would like it,” replied his host, rising from his chair.
“I didn’t
say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.”
“Ah, you
have discovered that?” murmured Lord Henry. And they passed into the
dining-room.
Chapter 11
For years,
Dorian Gray could not free himself from the influence of this book. Or perhaps
it would be more accurate to say that he never sought to free himself from it.
He procured from Paris no less than nine large-paper copies of the first
edition, and had them bound in different colours, so that they might suit his
various moods and the changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at
times, to have almost entirely lost control. The hero, the wonderful young
Parisian in whom the romantic and the scientific temperaments were so strangely
blended, became to him a kind of prefiguring type of himself. And, indeed, the
whole book seemed to him to contain the story of his own life, written before
he had lived it.
In one
point he was more fortunate than the novel’s fantastic hero. He never
knew—never, indeed, had any cause to know—that somewhat grotesque dread of
mirrors, and polished metal surfaces, and still water which came upon the young
Parisian so early in his life, and was occasioned by the sudden decay of a beau
that had once, apparently, been so remarkable. It was with an almost cruel
joy—and perhaps in nearly every joy, as certainly in every pleasure, cruelty
has its place—that he used to read the latter part of the book, with its really
tragic, if somewhat over-emphasised, account of the sorrow and despair of one
who had himself lost what in others, and the world, he had most dearly valued.
For the
wonderful beauty that had so fascinated Basil Hallward, and many others besides
him, seemed never to leave him. Even those who had heard the most evil things
against him—and from time to time strange rumours about his mode of life crept
through London and became the chatter of the clubs—could not believe anything
to his dishonour when they saw him. He had always the look of one who had kept
himself unspotted from the world. Men who talked grossly became silent when
Dorian Gray entered the room. There was something in the purity of his face
that rebuked them. His mere presence seemed to recall to them the memory of the
innocence that they had tarnished. They wondered how one so charming and
graceful as he was could have escaped the stain of an age that was at once
sordid and sensual.
Often, on
returning home from one of those mysterious and prolonged absences that gave
rise to such strange conjecture among those who were his friends, or thought
that they were so, he himself would creep upstairs to the locked room, open the
door with the key that never left him now, and stand, with a mirror, in front
of the portrait that Basil Hallward had painted of him, looking now at the evil
and ageing face on the canvas, and now at the fair young face that laughed back
at him from the polished glass. The very sharpness of the contrast used to
quicken his sense of pleasure. He grew more and more enamoured of his own
beauty, more and more interested in the corruption of his own soul. He would
examine with minute care, and sometimes with a monstrous and terrible delight,
the hideous lines that seared the wrinkling forehead or crawled around the
heavy sensual mouth, wondering sometimes which were the more horrible, the
signs of sin or the signs of age. He would place his white hands beside the
coarse bloated hands of the picture, and smile. He mocked the misshapen body
and the failing limbs.
There were
moments, indeed, at night, when, lying sleepless in his own delicately scented
chamber, or in the sordid room of the little ill-famed tavern near the docks
which, under an assumed name and in disguise, it was his habit to frequent, he
would think of the ruin he had brought upon his soul with a pity that was all
the more poignant because it was purely selfish. But moments such as these were
rare. That curiosity about life which Lord Henry had first stirred in him, as
they sat together in the garden of their friend, seemed to increase with
gratification. The more he knew, the more he desired to know. He had mad
hungers that grew more ravenous as he fed them.
Yet he was
not really reckless, at any rate in his relations to society. Once or twice
every month during the winter, and on each Wednesday evening while the season
lasted, he would throw open to the world his beautiful house and have the most
celebrated musicians of the day to charm his guests with the wonders of their
art. His little dinners, in the settling of which Lord Henry always assisted
him, were noted as much for the careful selection and placing of those invited,
as for the exquisite taste shown in the decoration of the table, with its
subtle symphonic arrangements of exotic flowers, and embroidered cloths, and
antique plate of gold and silver. Indeed, there were many, especially among the
very young men, who saw, or fancied that they saw, in Dorian Gray the true
realisation of a type of which they had often dreamed in Eton or Oxford days, a
type that was to combine something of the real culture of the scholar with all
the grace and distinction and perfect manner of a citizen of the world. To them
he seemed to be of the company of those whom Dante describes as having sought
to “make themselves perfect by the worship of beauty.” Like Gautier, he was one
for whom “the visible world existed.”
And,
certainly, to him life itself was the first, the greatest, of the arts, and for
it all the other arts seemed to be but a preparation. Fashion, by which what is
really fantastic becomes for a moment universal, and Dandyism, which, in its
own way, is an attempt to assert the absolute modernity of beauty, had, of
course, their fascination for him. His mode of dressing, and the particular
styles that from time to time he affected, had their marked influence on the
young exquisites of the Mayfair balls and Pall Mall club windows, who copied him
in everything that he did, and tried to reproduce the accidental charm of his
graceful, though to him only half-serious fopperies.
For, while
he was but too ready to accept the position that was almost immediately offered
to him on his coming of age, and found, indeed, a subtle pleasure in the
thought that he might really become to the London of his own day what to
imperial Neronian Rome the author of the Satyricon once had been, yet in his
inmost heart he desired to be something more than a mere arbiter elegantiarum ,
to be consulted on the wearing of a jewel, or the knotting of a necktie, or the
conduct of a cane. He sought to elaborate some new scheme of life that would
have its reasoned philosophy and its ordered principles, and find in the
spiritualising of the senses its highest realisation.
The worship
of the senses has often, and with much justice, been decried, men feeling a
natural instinct of terror about passions and sensations that seem stronger
than themselves, and that they are conscious of sharing with the less highly
organised forms of existence. But it appeared to Dorian Gray that the true
nature of the senses had never been understood, and that they had remained
savage and animal merely because the world had sought to starve them into submission
or to kill them by pain, instead of aiming at making them elements of a new
spirituality, of which a fine instinct for beauty was to be the dominant
characteristic. As he looked back upon man moving through history, he was
haunted by a feeling of loss. So much had been surrendered! and to such little
purpose! There had been mad wilful rejections, monstrous forms of self-torture
and self-denial, whose origin was fear and whose result was a degradation
infinitely more terrible than that fancied degradation from which, in their
ignorance, they had sought to escape; Nature, in her wonderful irony, driving
out the anchorite to feed with the wild animals of the desert and giving to the
hermit the beasts of the field as his companions.
Yes: there
was to be, as Lord Henry had prophesied, a new Hedonism that was to recreate
life and to save it from that harsh uncomely puritanism that is having, in our
own day, its curious revival. It was to have its service of the intellect,
certainly, yet it was never to accept any theory or system that would involve
the sacrifice of any mode of passionate experience. Its aim, indeed, was to be
experience itself, and not the fruits of experience, sweet or bitter as they
might be. Of the asceticism that deadens the senses, as of the vulgar
profligacy that dulls them, it was to know nothing. But it was to teach man to
concentrate himself upon the moments of a life that is itself but a moment.
There are
few of us who have not sometimes wakened before dawn, either after one of those
dreamless nights that make us almost enamoured of death, or one of those nights
of horror and misshapen joy, when through the chambers of the brain sweep
phantoms more terrible than reality itself, and instinct with that vivid life
that lurks in all grotesques, and that lends to Gothic art its enduring
vitality, this art being, one might fancy, especially the art of those whose
minds have been troubled with the malady of reverie. Gradually white fingers
creep through the curtains, and they appear to tremble. In black fantastic
shapes, dumb shadows crawl into the corners of the room and crouch there.
Outside, there is the stirring of birds among the leaves, or the sound of men
going forth to their work, or the sigh and sob of the wind coming down from the
hills and wandering round the silent house, as though it feared to wake the
sleepers and yet must needs call forth sleep from her purple cave. Veil after
veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of
things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its
antique pattern. The wan mirrors get back their mimic life. The flameless
tapers stand where we had left them, and beside them lies the half-cut book
that we had been studying, or the wired flower that we had worn at the ball, or
the letter that we had been afraid to read, or that we had read too often.
Nothing seems to us changed. Out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back
the real life that we had known. We have to resume it where we had left off, and
there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of
energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it
may be, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been
refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things
would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a
world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate,
in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance even of joy
having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain.
It was the
creation of such worlds as these that seemed to Dorian Gray to be the true
object, or amongst the true objects, of life; and in his search for sensations
that would be at once new and delightful, and possess that element of
strangeness that is so essential to romance, he would often adopt certain modes
of thought that he knew to be really alien to his nature, abandon himself to
their subtle influences, and then, having, as it were, caught their colour and
satisfied his intellectual curiosity, leave them with that curious indifference
that is not incompatible with a real ardour of temperament, and that, indeed,
according to certain modern psychologists, is often a condition of it.
It was
rumoured of him once that he was about to join the Roman Catholic communion,
and certainly the Roman ritual had always a great attraction for him. The daily
sacrifice, more awful really than all the sacrifices of the antique world,
stirred him as much by its superb rejection of the evidence of the senses as by
the primitive simplicity of its elements and the eternal pathos of the human
tragedy that it sought to symbolise. He loved to kneel down on the cold marble
pavement and watch the priest, in his stiff flowered vestment, slowly and with
white hands moving aside the veil of the tabernacle, or raising aloft the
jewelled, lantern-shaped monstrance with that pallid wafer that at times, one
would fain think, is indeed the “ panis c But he never fell into the error of
arresting his intellectual development by any formal acceptance of creed or
system, or of mistaking, for a house in which to live, an inn that is but
suitable for the sojourn of a night, or for a few hours of a night in which
there are no stars and the moon is in travail. Mysticism, with its marvellous
power of making common things strange to us, and the subtle antinomianism that
always seems to accompany it, moved him for a season; and for a season he
inclined to the materialistic doctrines of the Darwinismus movement in Germany,
and found a curious pleasure in tracing the thoughts and passions of men to
some pearly cell in the brain, or some white nerve in the body, delighting in
the conception of the absolute dependence of the spirit on certain physical
conditions, morbid or healthy, normal or diseased. Yet, as has been said of him
before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with
life itself. He felt keenly conscious of how barren all intellectual
speculation is when separated from action and experiment. He knew that the
senses, no less than the soul, have their spiritual mysteries to reveal.
And so he
would now study perfumes and the secrets of their manufacture, distilling
heavily scented oils and burning odorous gums from the East. He saw that there
was no mood of the mind that had not its counterpart in the sensuous life, and
set himself to discover their true relations, wondering what there was in
frankincense that made one mystical, and in ambergris that stirred one’s
passions, and in violets that woke the memory of dead romances, and in musk
that troubled the brain, and in champak that stained the imagination; and
seeking often to elaborate a real psychology of perfumes, and to estimate the
several influences of sweet-smelling roots and scented, pollen-laden flowers;
of aromatic balms and of dark and fragrant woods; of spikenard, that sickens;
of hovenia, that makes men mad; and of aloes, that are said to be able to expel
melancholy from the soul.
At another
time he devoted himself entirely to music, and in a long latticed room, with a
vermilion-and-gold ceiling and walls of olive-green lacquer, he used to give
curious concerts in which mad gypsies tore wild music from little zithers, or
grave, yellow-shawled Tunisians plucked at the strained strings of monstrous
lutes, while grinning negroes beat monotonously upon copper drums and,
crouching upon scarlet mats, slim turbaned Indians blew through long pipes of
reed or brass and charmed—or feigned to charm—great hooded snakes and horrible
horned adders. The harsh intervals and shrill discords of barbaric music
stirred him at times when Schubert’s grace, and Chopin’s beautiful sorrows, and
the mighty harmonies of Beethoven himself, fell unheeded on his ear. He
collected together from all parts of the world the strangest instruments that
could be found, either in the tombs of dead nations or among the few savage
tribes that have survived contact with Western civilisations, and loved to touch
and try them. He had the mysterious furuparis of the Rio Negro Indians, that
women are not allowed to look at and that even youths may not see till they
have been subjected to fasting and scourging, and the earthen jars of the
Peruvians that have the shrill cries of birds, and flutes of human bones such
as Alfonso de Ovalle heard in Chili, and the sonorous green jaspers that are
found near Cuzco and give forth a note of singular sweetness. He had painted
gourds filled with pebbles that rattled when they were shaken; the long clarin
of the Mexicans, into which the performer does not blow, but through which he
inhales the air; the harsh ture of the Amazon tribes, that is sounded by the
sentinels who sit all day long in high trees, and can be heard, it is said, at
a distance of three leagues; the teponazili , that has two vibrating tongues of
wood and is beaten with sticks that are smeared with an elastic gum obtained
from the milky juice of plants; the yotl —bells of the Aztecs, that are hung in
clusters like grapes; and a huge cylindrical drum, covered with the skins of
great serpents, like the one that Bernal Diaz saw when he went with Cortes into
the Mexican temple, and of whose doleful sound he has left us so vivid a
description. The fantastic character of these instruments fascinated him, and
he felt a curious delight in the thought that art, like Nature, has her
monsters, things of bestial shape and with hideous voices. Yet, after some
time, he wearied of them, and would sit in his box at the opera, either alone
or with Lord Henry, listening in rapt pleasure to Tannhauser and seeing in the
prelude to that great work of art a presentation of the tragedy of his own
soul.
On one
occasion he took up the study of jewels, and appeared at a costume ball as Anne
de Joyeuse, Admiral of France, in a dress covered with five hundred and sixty
pearls. This taste enthralled him for years, and, indeed, may be said never to
have left him. He would often spend a whole day settling and resettling in
their cases the various stones that be had collected, such as the olive-green
chrysoberyl that turns red by lamplight, the cymophane with its wire-like line
of silver, the pistachio-coloured peridot, rose-pink and wine-yellow topazes,
carbuncles of fiery scarlet with tremulous, four-rayed stars, flame-red
cinnamon-stones, orange and violet spinels, and amethysts with their alternate
layers of ruby and sapphire. He loved the red gold of the sunstone, and the
moonstone’s pearly whiteness, and the broken rainbow of the milky opal. He
procured from Amsterdam three emeralds of extraordinary size and richness of
colour, and had a turquoise de la vieille roche that was the envy of all the
connoisseurs.
He
discovered wonderful stories, also, about jewels. In Alphonso’s Clericalis
Disciplina a serpent was mentioned with eyes of real jacinth, and in the
romantic history of Alexander, the Conqueror of Emathia was said to have found
in the vale of Jordan snakes “with collars of real emeralds growing on their
backs.” There was a gem in the brain of the dragon, Philostratus told us, and
“by the exhibition of golden letters and a scarlet robe” the monster could be
thrown into a magical sleep and slain. According to the great alchemist, Pierre
de Boniface, the diamond rendered a man invisible, and the agate of India made
him eloquent. The cornelian appeased anger, and the hyacinth provoked sleep,
and the amethyst drove away the fumes of wine. The garnet cast out demons, and
the hydropicus deprived the moon of her colour. The selenite waxed and waned with
the moon, and the meloceus, that discovers thieves, could be affected only by
the blood of kids. Leonardus Camillus had seen a white stone taken from the
brain of a newly killed toad, that was a certain antidote against poison. The
bezoar, that was found in the heart of the Arabian deer, was a charm that could
cure the plague. In the nests of Arabian birds was the aspilates, that,
according to Democritus, kept the wearer from any danger by fire.
The King of
Ceilan rode through his city with a large ruby in his hand, as the ceremony of
his coronation. The gates of the palace of John the Priest were “made of
sardius, with the horn of the horned snake inwrought, so that no man might
bring poison within.” Over the gable were “two golden apples, in which were two
carbuncles,” so that the gold might shine by day and the carbuncles by night.
In Lodge’s strange romance A Margarite of America , it was stated that in the
chamber of the queen one could behold “all the chaste ladies of the world,
inchased out of silver, looking through fair mirrors of chrysolites,
carbuncles, sapphires, and greene emeraults.” Marco Polo had seen the
inhabitants of Zipangu place rose-coloured pearls in the mouths of the dead. A
sea-monster had been enamoured of the pearl that the diver brought to King
Perozes, and had slain the thief, and mourned for seven moons over its loss.
When the Huns lured the king into the great pit, he flung it away—Procopius
tells the story—nor was it ever found again, though the Emperor Anastasius
offered five hundred-weight of gold pieces for it. The King of Malabar had
shown to a certain Venetian a rosary of three hundred and four pearls, one for
every god that he worshipped.
When the
Duke de Valentinois, son of Alexander VI, visited Louis XII of France, his
horse was loaded with gold leaves, according to Brant How exquisite life had
once been! How gorgeous in its pomp and decoration! Even to read of the luxury
of the dead was wonderful.
Then he
turned his attention to embroideries and to the tapestries that performed the
office of frescoes in the chill rooms of the northern nations of Europe. As he
investigated the subject—and he always had an extraordinary faculty of becoming
absolutely absorbed for the moment in whatever he took up—he was almost
saddened by the reflection of the ruin that time brought on beautiful and
wonderful things. He, at any rate, had escaped that. Summer followed summer,
and the yellow jonquils bloomed and died many times, and nights of horror
repeated the story of their shame, but he was unchanged. No winter marred his
face or stained his flowerlike bloom. How different it was with material
things! Where had they passed to? Where was the great crocus-coloured robe, on
which the gods fought against the giants, that had been worked by brown girls
for the pleasure of Athena? Where the huge velarium that Nero had stretched
across the Colosseum at Rome, that Titan sail of purple on which was
represented the starry sky, and Apollo driving a chariot drawn by white,
gilt-reined steeds? He longed to see the curious table-napkins wrought for the
Priest of the Sun, on which were displayed all the dainties and viands that
could be wanted for a feast; the mortuary cloth of King Chilperic, with its
three hundred golden bees; the fantastic robes that excited the indignation of
the Bishop of Pontus and were figured with “lions, panthers, bears, dogs,
forests, rocks, hunters—all, in fact, that a painter can copy from nature”; and
the coat that Charles of Orleans once wore, on the sleeves of which were embroidered
the verses of a song beginning “ Madame, je suis tout joyeux ,” the musical
accompaniment of the words being wrought in gold thread, and each note, of
square shape in those days, formed with four pearls. He read of the room that
was prepared at the palace at Rheims for the use of Queen Joan of Burgundy and
was decorated with “thirteen hundred and twenty-one parrots, made in broidery,
and blazoned with the king’s arms, and five hundred and sixty-one butterflies,
whose wings were similarly ornamented with the arms of the queen, the whole
worked in gold.” Catherine de M And so, for a whole year, he sought to
accumulate the most exquisite specimens that he could find of textile and
embroidered work, getting the dainty Delhi muslins, finely wrought with
gold-thread palmates and stitched over with iridescent beetles’ wings; the
Dacca gauzes, that from their transparency are known in the East as “woven
air,” and “running water,” and “evening dew”; strange figured cloths from Java;
elaborate yellow Chinese hangings; books bound in tawny satins or fair blue
silks and wrought with fleurs de lys , birds and images; veils of lacis worked
in Hungary point; Sicilian brocades and stiff Spanish velvets; Georgian work,
with its gilt coins, and Japanese Foukousas , with their green-toned golds and
their marvellously plumaged birds.
He had a
special passion, also, for ecclesiastical vestments, as indeed he had for
everything connected with the service of the Church. In the long cedar chests
that lined the west gallery of his house, he had stored away many rare and
beautiful specimens of what is really the raiment of the Bride of Christ, who
must wear purple and jewels and fine linen that she may hide the pallid
macerated body that is worn by the suffering that she seeks for and wounded by
self-inflicted pain. He possessed a gorgeous cope of crimson silk and
gold-thread damask, figured with a repeating pattern of golden pomegranates set
in six-petalled formal blossoms, beyond which on either side was the pine-apple
device wrought in seed-pearls. The orphreys were divided into panels
representing scenes from the life of the Virgin, and the coronation of the
Virgin was figured in coloured silks upon the hood. This was Italian work of
the fifteenth century. Another cope was of green velvet, embroidered with
heart-shaped groups of acanthus-leaves, from which spread long-stemmed white
blossoms, the details of which were picked out with silver thread and coloured
crystals. The morse bore a seraph’s head in gold-thread raised work. The
orphreys were woven in a diaper of red and gold silk, and were starred with
medallions of many saints and martyrs, among whom was St. Sebastian. He had
chasubles, also, of amber-coloured silk, and blue silk and gold brocade, and
yellow silk damask and cloth of gold, figured with representations of the
Passion and Crucifixion of Christ, and embroidered with lions and peacocks and
other emblems; dalmatics of white satin and pink silk damask, decorated with
tulips and dolphins and fleurs de lys ; altar frontals of crimson velvet and
blue linen; and many corporals, chalice-veils, and sudaria. In the mystic
offices to which such things were put, there was something that quickened his
imagination.
For these
treasures, and everything that he collected in his lovely house, were to be to
him means of forgetfulness, modes by which he could escape, for a season, from
the fear that seemed to him at times to be almost too great to be borne. Upon
the walls of the lonely locked room where he had spent so much of his boyhood,
he had hung with his own hands the terrible portrait whose changing features
showed him the real degradation of his life, and in front of it had draped the
purple-and-gold pall as a curtain. For weeks he would not go there, would
forget the hideous painted thing, and get back his light heart, his wonderful
joyousness, his passionate absorption in mere existence. Then, suddenly, some
night he would creep out of the house, go down to dreadful places near Blue
Gate Fields, and stay there, day after day, until he was driven away. On his
return he would sit in front of the her times, with that pride of individualism
that is half the fascination of sin, and smiling with secret pleasure at the
misshapen shadow that had to bear the burden that should have been his own.
After a few
years he could not endure to be long out of England, and gave up the villa that
he had shared at Trouville with Lord Henry, as well as the little white
walled-in house at Algiers where they had more than once spent the winter. He
hated to be separated from the picture that was such a part of his life, and
was also afraid that during his absence some one might gain access to the room,
in spite of the elaborate bars that he had caused to be placed upon the door.
He was
quite conscious that this would tell them nothing. It was true that the
portrait still preserved, under all the foulness and ugliness of the face, its
marked likeness to himself; but what could they learn from that? He would laugh
at any one who tried to taunt him. He had not painted it. What was it to him
how vile and full of shame it looked? Even if he told them, would they believe
it?
Yet he was
afraid. Sometimes when he was down at his great house in Nottinghamshire,
entertaining the fashionable young men of his own rank who were his chief
companions, and astounding the county by the wanton luxury and gorgeous
splendour of his mode of life, he would suddenly leave his guests and rush back
to town to see that the door had not been tampered with and that the picture
was still there. What if it should be stolen? The mere thought made him cold
with horror. Surely the world would know his secret then. Perhaps the world
already suspected it.
For, while
he fascinated many, there were not a few who distrusted him. He was very nearly
blackballed at a West End club of which his birth and social position fully
entitled him to become a member, and it was said that on one occasion, when he
was brought by a friend into the smoking-room of the Churchill, the Duke of
Berwick and another gentleman got up in a marked manner and went out. Curious
stories became current about him after he had passed his twenty-fifth year. It
was rumoured that he had been seen brawling with foreign sailors in a low den
in the distant parts of Whitechapel, and that he consorted with thieves and
coiners and knew the mysteries of their trade. His extraordinary absences
became notorious, and, when he used to reappear again in society, men would
whisper to each other in corners, or pass him with a sneer, or look at him with
cold searching eyes, as though they were determined to discover his secret.
Of such
insolences and attempted slights he, of course, took no notice, and in the
opinion of most people his frank debonair manner, his charming boyish smile,
and the infinite grace of that wonderful youth that seemed never to leave him,
were in themselves a sufficient answer to the calumnies, for so they termed
them, that were circulated about him. It was remarked, however, that some of
those who had been most intimate with him appeared, after a time, to shun him.
Women who had wildly adored him, and for his sake had braved all social censure
and set convention at defiance, were seen to grow pallid with shame or horror
if Dorian Gray entered the room.
Yet these
whispered scandals only increased in the eyes of many his strange and dangerous
charm. His great wealth was a certain element of security. Society—civilised
society, at least—is never very ready to believe anything to the detriment of
those who are both rich and fascinating. It feels instinctively that manners
are of more importance than morals, and, in its opinion, the highest
respectability is of much less value than the possession of a good chef . And,
after all, it is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has given
one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in his private life. Even the
cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold entr Such, at any rate, was Dorian
Gray’s opinion. He used to wonder at the shallow psychology of those who
conceive the ego in man as a thing simple, permanent, reliable, and of one
essence. To him, man was a being with myriad lives and myriad sensations, a
complex multiform creature that bore within itself strange legacies of thought
and passion, and whose very flesh was tainted with the monstrous maladies of
the dead. He loved to stroll through the gaunt cold picture-gallery of his
country house and look at the various portraits of those whose blood flowed in
his veins. Here was Philip Herbert, described by Francis Osborne, in his
Memoires on the Reigns of Queen Elizabeth and King James , as one who was
“caressed by the Court for his handsome face, which kept him not long company.”
Was it young Herbert’s life that he sometimes led? Had some strange poisonous
germ crept from body to body till it had reached his own? Was it some dim sense
of that ruined grace that had made him so suddenly, and almost without cause,
give utterance, in Basil Hallward’s studio, to the mad prayer that had so
changed his life? Here, in gold-embroidered red doublet, jewelled surcoat, and
gilt-edged ruff and wristbands, stood Sir Anthony Sherard, with his
silver-and-black armour piled at his feet. What had this man’s legacy been? Had
the lover of Giovanna of Naples bequeathed him some inheritance of sin and
shame? Were his own actions merely the dreams that the dead man had not dared
to realise? Here, from the fading canvas, smiled Lady Elizabeth Devereux, in
her gauze hood, pearl stomacher, and pink slashed sleeves. A flower was in her
right hand, and her left clasped an enamelled collar of white and damask roses.
On a table by her side lay a mandolin and an apple. There were large green
rosettes upon her little pointed shoes. He knew her life, and the strange
stories that were told about her lovers. Had he something of her temperament in
him? These oval, heavy-lidded eyes seemed to look curiously at him. What of
George Willoughby, with his powdered hair and fantastic patches? How evil he
looked! The face was saturnine and swarthy, and the sensual lips seemed to be
twisted with disdain. Delicate lace ruffles fell over the lean yellow hands
that were so overladen with rings. He had been a macaroni of the eighteenth
century, and the friend, in his youth, of Lord Ferrars. What of the second Lord
Beckenham, the companion of the Prince Regent in his wildest days, and one of
the witnesses at the secret marriage with Mrs. Fitzherbert? How proud and
handsome he was, with his chestnut curls and insolent pose! What passions had
he bequeathed? The world had looked upon him as infamous. He had led the orgies
at Carlton House. The star of the Garter glittered upon his breast. Beside him
hung the portrait of his wife, a pallid, thin-lipped woman in black. Her blood,
also, stirred within him. How curious it all seemed! And his mother with her
Lady Hamilton face and her moist, wine-dashed lips—he knew what he had got from
her. He had got from her his beauty, and his passion for the beauty of others.
She laughed at him in her loose Bacchante dress. There were vine leaves in her
hair. The purple spilled from the cup she was holding. The carnations of the
painting had withered, but the eyes were still wonderful in their depth and
brilliancy of colour. They seemed to follow him wherever he went.
Yet one had
ancestors in literature as well as in one’s own race, nearer perhaps in type
and temperament, many of them, and certainly with an influence of which one was
more absolutely conscious. There were times when it appeared to Dorian Gray
that the whole of history was merely the record of his own life, not as he had
lived it in act and circumstance, but as his imagination had created it for
him, as it had been in his brain and in his passions. He felt that he had known
them all, those strange terrible figures that had passed across the stage of
the world and made sin so marvellous and evil so full of subtlety. It seemed to
him that in some mysterious way their lives had been his own.
The hero of
the wonderful novel that had so influenced his life had himself known this
curious fancy. In the seventh chapter he tells how, crowned with laurel, lest
lightning might strike him, he had sat, as Tiberius, in a garden at Capri,
reading the shameful books of Elephantis, while dwarfs and peacocks strutted
round him and the flute-player mocked the swinger of the censer; and, as
Caligula, had caroused with the green-shirted jockeys in their stables and
supped in an ivory manger with a jewel-frontleted horse; and, as Domitian, had
wandered through a corridor lined with marble mirrors, looking round with
haggard eyes for the reflection of the dagger that was to end his days, and
sick with that ennui , that terrible t Over and over again Dorian used to read
this fantastic chapter, and the two chapters immediately following, in which,
as in some curious tapestries or cunningly wrought enamels, were pictured the
awful and beautiful forms of those whom vice and blood and weariness had made
monstrous or mad: Filippo, Duke of Milan, who slew his wife and painted her
lips with a scarlet poison that her lover might suck death from the dead thing
he fondled; Pietro Barbi, the Venetian, known as Paul the Second, who sought in
his vanity to assume the title of Formosus, and whose tiara, valued at two
hundred thousand florins, was bought at the price of a terrible sin; Gian Maria
Visconti, who used hounds to chase living men and whose murdered body was
covered with roses by a harlot who had loved him; the Borgia on his white
horse, with Fratricide riding beside him and his mantle stained with the blood
of Perotto; Pietro Riario, the young Cardinal Archbishop of Florence, child and
minion of Sixtus IV, whose beauty was equalled only by his debauchery, and who
received Leonora of Aragon in a pavilion of white and crimson silk, filled with
nymphs and centaurs, and gilded a boy that he might serve at the feast as
Ganymede or Hylas; Ezzelin, whose melancholy could be cured only by the
spectacle of death, and who had a passion for red blood, as other men have for
red wine—the son of the Fiend, as was reported, and one who had cheated his
father at dice when gambling with him for his own soul; Giambattista Cibo, who
in mockery took the name of Innocent and into whose torpid veins the blood of
three lads was infused by a Jewish doctor; Sigismondo Malatesta, the lover of
Isotta and the lord of Rimini, whose effigy was burned at Rome as the enemy of
God and man, who strangled Polyssena with a napkin, and gave poison to Ginevra
d’Este in a cup of emerald, and in honour of a shameful passion built a pagan
church for Christian worship; Charles VI, who had so wildly adored his
brother’s wife that a leper had warned him of the insanity that was coming on
him, and who, when his brain had sickened and grown strange, could only be
soothed by Saracen cards painted with the images of love and death and madness;
and, in his trimmed jerkin and jewelled cap and acanthus-like curls, Grifonetto
Baglioni, who slew Astorre with his bride, and Simonetto with his page, and
whose comeliness was such that, as he lay dying in the yellow piazza of
Perugia, those who had hated him could not choose but weep, and Atalanta, who
had cursed him, blessed him.
There was a
horrible fascination in them all. He saw them at night, and they troubled his
imagination in the day. The Renaissance knew of strange manners of
poisoning—poisoning by a helmet and a lighted torch, by an embroidered glove
and a jewelled fan, by a gilded pomander and by an amber chain. Dorian Gray had
been poisoned by a book. There were moments when he looked on evil simply as a
mode through which he could realise his conception of the beautiful.
Chapter 12
It was on
the ninth of November, the eve of his own thirty-eighth birthday, as he often
remembered afterwards. He was walking home about eleven o’clock from Lord
Henry’s, where he had been dining, and was wrapped in heavy furs, as the night
was cold and foggy. At the corner of Grosvenor Square and South Audley Street,
a man passed him in the mist, walking very fast and with the collar of his grey
ulster turned up. He had a bag in his hand. Dorian recognised him. It was Basil
Hallward. A strange sense of fear, for which he could not account, came over
him. He made no sign of recognition and went on quickly in the direction of his
own house.
But
Hallward had seen him. Dorian heard him first stopping on the pavement and then
hurrying after him. In a few moments, his hand was on his arm.
“Dorian!
What an extraordinary piece of luck! I have been waiting for you in your
library ever since nine o’clock. Finally I took pity on your tired servant and
told him to go to bed, as he let me out. I am off to Paris by the midnight
train, and I particularly wanted to see you before I left. I thought it was
you, or rather your fur coat, as you passed me. But I wasn’t quite sure. Didn’t
you recognise me?”
“In this
fog, my dear Basil? Why, I can’t even recognise Grosvenor Square. I believe my
house is somewhere about here, but I don’t feel at all certain about it. I am
sorry you are going away, as I have not seen you for ages. But I suppose you
will be back soon?”
“No: I am
going to be out of England for six months. I intend to take a studio in Paris
and shut myself up till I have finished a great picture I have in my head.
However, it wasn’t about myself I wanted to talk. Here we are at your door. Let
me come in for a moment. I have something to say to you.”
“I shall be
charmed. But won’t you miss your train?” said Dorian Gray languidly as he
passed up the steps and opened the door with his latch-key.
The
lamp-light struggled out through the fog, and Hallward looked at his watch. “I
have heaps of time,” he answered. “The train doesn’t go till twelve-fifteen,
and it is only just eleven. In fact, I was on my way to the club to look for
you, when I met you. You see, I shan’t have any delay about luggage, as I have
sent on my heavy things. All I have with me is in this bag, and I can easily
get to Victoria in twenty minutes.”
Dorian
looked at him and smiled. “What a way for a fashionable painter to travel! A
Gladstone bag and an ulster! Come in, or the fog will get into the house. And
mind you don’t talk about anything serious. Nothing is serious nowadays. At
least nothing should be.”
Hallward
shook his head, as he entered, and followed Dorian into the library. There was
a bright wood fire blazing in the large open hearth. The lamps were lit, and an
open Dutch silver spirit-case stood, with some siphons of soda-water and large
cut-glass tumblers, on a little marqueterie table.
“You see
your servant made me quite at home, Dorian. He gave me everything I wanted,
including your best gold-tipped cigarettes. He is a most hospitable creature. I
like him much better than the Frenchman you used to have. What has become of
the Frenchman, by the bye?”
Dorian
shrugged his shoulders. “I believe he married Lady Radley’s maid, and has
established her in Paris as an English dressmaker. Anglomanie is very
fashionable over there now, I hear. It seems silly of the French, doesn’t it?
But—do you know?—he was not at all a bad servant. I never liked him, but I had
nothing to complain about. One often imagines things that are quite absurd. He
was really very devoted to me and seemed quite sorry when he went away. Have
another brandy-and-soda? Or would you like hock-and-seltzer? I always take
hock-and-seltzer myself. There is sure to be some in the next room.”
“Thanks, I
won’t have anything more,” said the painter, taking his cap and coat off and
throwing them on the bag that he had placed in the corner. “And now, my dear
fellow, I want to speak to you seriously. Don’t frown like that. You make it so
much more difficult for me.”
“What is it
all about?” cried Dorian in his petulant way, flinging himself down on the
sofa. “I hope it is not about myself. I am tired of myself to-night. I should
like to be somebody else.”
“It is
about yourself,” answered Hallward in his grave deep voice, “and I must say it
to you. I shall only keep you half an hour.”
Dorian
sighed and lit a cigarette. “Half an hour!” he murmured.
“It is not
much to ask of you, Dorian, and it is entirely for your own sake that I am
speaking. I think it right that you should know that the most dreadful things
are being said against you in London.”
“I don’t
wish to know anything about them. I love scandals about other people, but
scandals about myself don’t interest me. They have not got the charm of
novelty.”
“They must
interest you, Dorian. Every gentleman is interested in his good name. You don’t
want people to talk of you as something vile and degraded. Of course, you have
your position, and your wealth, and all that kind of thing. But position and
wealth are not everything. Mind you, I don’t believe these rumours at all. At
least, I can’t believe them when I see you. Sin is a thing that writes itself
across a man’s face. It cannot be concealed. People talk sometimes of secret
vices. There are no such things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows itself
in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the moulding of his hands
even. Somebody—I won’t mention his name, but you know him—came to me last year
to have his portrait done. I had never seen him before, and had never heard
anything about him at the time, though I have heard a good deal since. He
offered an extravagant price. I refused him. There was something in the shape
of his fingers that I hated. I know now that I was quite right in what I
fancied about him. His life is dreadful. But you, Dorian, with your pure,
bright, innocent face, and your marvellous untroubled youth—I can’t believe
anything against you. And yet I see you very seldom, and you never come down to
the studio now, and when I am away from you, and I hear all these hideous
things that people are whispering about you, I don’t know what to say. Why is
it, Dorian, that a man like the Duke of Berwick leaves the room of a club when
you enter it? Why is it that so many gentlemen in London will neither go to
your house or invite you to theirs? You used to be a friend of Lord Staveley. I
met him at dinner last week. Your name happened to come up in conversation, in
connection with the miniatures you have lent to the exhibition at the Dudley.
Staveley curled his lip and said that you might have the most artistic tastes,
but that you were a man whom no pure-minded girl should be allowed to know, and
whom no chaste woman should sit in the same room with. I reminded him that I
was a friend of yours, and asked him what he meant. He told me. He told me
right out before everybody. It was horrible! Why is your friendship so fatal to
young men? There was that wretched boy in the Guards who committed suicide. You
were his great friend. There was Sir Henry Ashton, who had to leave England
with a tarnished name. You and he were inseparable. What about Adrian Singleton
and his dreadful end? What about Lord Kent’s only son and his career? I met his
father yesterday in St. James’s Street. He seemed broken with shame and sorrow.
What about the young Duke of Perth? What sort of life has he got now? What
gentleman would associate with him?”
“Stop,
Basil. You are talking about things of which you know nothing,” said Dorian
Gray, biting his lip, and with a note of infinite contempt in his voice. “You
ask me why Berwick leaves a room when I enter it. It is because I know
everything about his life, not because he knows anything about mine. With such
blood as he has in his veins, how could his record be clean? You ask me about
Henry Ashton and young Perth. Did I teach the one his vices, and the other his
debauchery? If Kent’s silly son takes his wife from the streets, what is that
to me? If Adrian Singleton writes his friend’s name across a bill, am I his
keeper? I know how people chatter in England. The middle classes air their
moral prejudices over their gross dinner-tables, and whisper about what they
call the profligacies of their betters in order to try and pretend that they
are in smart society and on intimate terms with the people they slander. In
this country, it is enough for a man to have distinction and brains for every
common tongue to wag against him. And what sort of lives do these people, who
pose as being moral, lead themselves? My dear fellow, you forget that we are in
the native land of the hypocrite.”
“Dorian,”
cried Hallward, “that is not the question. England is bad enough I know, and
English society is all wrong. That is the reason why I want you to be fine. You
have not been fine. One has a right to judge of a man by the effect he has over
his friends. Yours seem to lose all sense of honour, of goodness, of purity.
You have filled them with a madness for pleasure. They have gone down into the
depths. You led them there. Yes: you led them there, and yet you can smile, as
you are smiling now. And there is worse behind. I know you and Harry are
inseparable. Surely for that reason, if for none other, you should not have
made his sister’s name a by-word.”
“Take care,
Basil. You go too far.”
“I must
speak, and you must listen. You shall listen. When you met Lady Gwendolen, not
a breath of scandal had ever touched her. Is there a single decent woman in
London now who would drive with her in the park? Why, even her children are not
allowed to live with her. Then there are other stories—stories that you have
been seen creeping at dawn out of dreadful houses and slinking in disguise into
the foulest dens in London. Are they true? Can they be true? When I first heard
them, I laughed. I hear them now, and they make me shudder. What about your
country-house and the life that is led there? Dorian, you don’t know what is
said about you. I won’t tell you that I don’t want to preach to you. I remember
Harry saying once that every man who turned himself into an amateur curate for
the moment always began by saying that, and then proceeded to break his word. I
do want to preach to you. I want you to lead such a life as will make the world
respect you. I want you to have a clean name and a fair record. I want you to
get rid of the dreadful people you associate with. Don’t shrug your shoulders
like that. Don’t be so indifferent. You have a wonderful influence. Let it be
for good, not for evil. They say that you corrupt every one with whom you
become intimate, and that it is quite sufficient for you to enter a house for
shame of some kind to follow after. I don’t know whether it is so or not. How
should I know? But it is said of you. I am told things that it seems impossible
to doubt. Lord Gloucester was one of my greatest friends at Oxford. He showed
me a letter that his wife had written to him when she was dying alone in her
villa at Mentone. Your name was implicated in the most terrible confession I
ever read. I told him that it was absurd—that I knew you thoroughly and that
you were incapable of anything of the kind. Know you? I wonder do I know you?
Before I could answer that, I should have to see your soul.”
“To see my
soul!” muttered Dorian Gray, starting up from the sofa and turning almost white
from fear.
“Yes,”
answered Hallward gravely, and with deep-toned sorrow in his voice, “to see
your soul. But only God can do that.”
A bitter
laugh of mockery broke from the lips of the younger man. “You shall see it
yourself, to-night!” he cried, seizing a lamp from the table. “Come: it is your
own handiwork. Why shouldn’t you look at it? You can tell the world all about
it afterwards, if you choose. Nobody would believe you. If they did believe
you, they would like me all the better for it. I know the age better than you
do, though you will prate about it so tediously. Come, I tell you. You have
chattered enough about corruption. Now you shall look on it face to face.”
There was
the madness of pride in every word he uttered. He stamped his foot upon the
ground in his boyish insolent manner. He felt a terrible joy at the thought
that some one else was to share his secret, and that the man who had painted
the portrait that was the origin of all his shame was to be burdened for the
rest of his life with the hideous memory of what he had done.
“Yes,” he
continued, coming closer to him and looking steadfastly into his stern eyes, “I
shall show you my soul. You shall see the thing that you fancy only God can
see.”
Hallward
started back. “This is blasphemy, Dorian!” he cried. “You must not say things
like that. They are horrible, and they don’t mean anything.”
“You think
so?” He laughed again.
“I know so.
As for what I said to you to-night, I said it for your good. You know I have
been always a stanch friend to you.”
“Don’t
touch me. Finish what you have to say.”
A twisted
flash of pain shot across the painter’s face. He paused for a moment, and a
wild feeling of pity came over him. After all, what right had he to pry into
the life of Dorian Gray? If he had done a tithe of what was rumoured about him,
how much he must have suffered! Then he straightened himself up, and walked
over to the fire-place, and stood there, looking at the burning logs with their
frost-like ashes and their throbbing cores of flame.
“I am
waiting, Basil,” said the young man in a hard clear voice.
He turned
round. “What I have to say is this,” he cried. “You must give me some answer to
these horrible charges that are made against you. If you tell me that they are
absolutely untrue from beginning to end, I shall believe you. Deny them,
Dorian, deny them! Can’t you see what I am going through? My God! don’t tell me
that you are bad, and corrupt, and shameful.”
Dorian Gray
smiled. There was a curl of contempt in his lips. “Come upstairs, Basil,” he
said quietly. “I keep a diary of my life from day to day, and it never leaves
the room in which it is written. I shall show it to you if you come with me.”
“I shall
come with you, Dorian, if you wish it. I see I have missed my train. That makes
no matter. I can go to-morrow. But don’t ask me to read anything to-night. All
I want is a plain answer to my question.”
“That shall
be given to you upstairs. I could not give it here. You will not have to read
long.”
Chapter 13
He passed
out of the room and began the ascent, Basil Hallward following close behind.
They walked softly, as men do instinctively at night. The lamp cast fantastic
shadows on the wall and staircase. A rising wind made some of the windows
rattle.
When they
reached the top landing, Dorian set the lamp down on the floor, and taking out
the key, turned it in the lock. “You insist on knowing, Basil?” he asked in a
low voice.
“Yes.”
“I am
delighted,” he answered, smiling. Then he added, somewhat harshly, “You are the
one man in the world who is entitled to know everything about me. You have had
more to do with my life than you think”; and, taking up the lamp, he opened the
door and went in. A cold current of air passed them, and the light shot up for
a moment in a flame of murky orange. He shuddered. “Shut the door behind you,”
he whispered, as he placed the lamp on the table.
Hallward
glanced round him with a puzzled expression. The room looked as if it had not
been lived in for years. A faded Flemish tapestry, a curtained picture, an old
Italian cassone , and an almost empty book-case—that was all that it seemed to
contain, besides a chair and a table. As Dorian Gray was lighting a half-burned
candle that was standing on the mantelshelf, he saw that the whole place was
covered with dust and that the carpet was in holes. A mouse ran scuffling
behind the wainscoting. There was a damp odour of mildew.
“So you
think that it is only God who sees the soul, Basil? Draw that curtain back, and
you will see mine.”
The voice
that spoke was cold and cruel. “You are mad, Dorian, or playing a part,”
muttered Hallward, frowning.
“You won’t?
Then I must do it myself,” said the young man, and he tore the curtain from its
rod and flung it on the ground.
An
exclamation of horror broke from the painter’s lips as he saw in the dim light
the hideous face on the canvas grinning at him. There was something in its
expression that filled him with disgust and loathing. Good heavens! it was
Dorian Gray’s own face that he was looking at! The horror, whatever it was, had
not yet entirely spoiled that marvellous beauty. There was still some gold in
the thinning hair and some scarlet on the sensual mouth. The sodden eyes had
kept something of the loveliness of their blue, the noble curves had not yet
completely passed away from chiselled nostrils and from plastic throat. Yes, it
was Dorian himself. But who had done it? He seemed to recognise his own
brushwork, and the frame was his own design. The idea was monstrous, yet he
felt afraid. He seized the lighted candle, and held it to the picture. In the
left-hand corner was his own name, traced in long letters of bright vermilion.
It was some
foul parody, some infamous ignoble satire. He had never done that. Still, it
was his own picture. He knew it, and he felt as if his blood had changed in a
moment from fire to sluggish ice. His own picture! What did it mean? Why had it
altered? He turned and looked at Dorian Gray with the eyes of a sick man. His
mouth twitched, and his parched tongue seemed unable to articulate. He passed
his hand across his forehead. It was dank with clammy sweat.
The young
man was leaning against the mantelshelf, watching him with that strange
expression that one sees on the faces of those who are absorbed in a play when
some great artist is acting. There was neither real sorrow in it nor real joy.
There was simply the passion of the spectator, with perhaps a flicker of
triumph in his eyes. He had taken the flower out of his coat, and was smelling
it, or pretending to do so.
“What does
this mean?” cried Hallward, at last. His own voice sounded shrill and curious
in his ears.
“Years ago,
when I was a boy,” said Dorian Gray, crushing the flower in his hand, “you met
me, flattered me, and taught me to be vain of my good looks. One day you
introduced me to a friend of yours, who explained to me the wonder of youth,
and you finished a portrait of me that revealed to me the wonder of beauty. In
a mad moment that, even now, I don’t know whether I regret or not, I made a
wish, perhaps you would call it a prayer. . . .”
“I remember
it! Oh, how well I remember it! No! the thing is impossible. The room is damp.
Mildew has got into the canvas. The paints I used had some wretched mineral
poison in them. I tell you the thing is impossible.”
“Ah, what
is impossible?” murmured the young man, going over to the window and leaning
his forehead against the cold, mist-stained glass.
“You told
me you had destroyed it.”
“I was
wrong. It has destroyed me.”
“I don’t
believe it is my picture.”
“Can’t you
see your ideal in it?” said Dorian bitterly.
“My ideal,
as you call it . . .”
“As you
called it.”
“There was
nothing evil in it, nothing shameful. You were to me such an ideal as I shall
never meet again. This is the face of a satyr.”
“It is the
face of my soul.”
“Christ!
what a thing I must have worshipped! It has the eyes of a devil.”
“Each of us
has heaven and hell in him, Basil,” cried Dorian with a wild gesture of
despair.
Hallward
turned again to the portrait and gazed at it. “My God! If it is true,” he
exclaimed, “and this is what you have done with your life, why, you must be
worse even than those who talk against you fancy you to be!” He held the light
up again to the canvas and examined it. The surface seemed to be quite undisturbed
and as he had left it. It was from within, apparently, that the foulness and
horror had come. Through some strange quickening of inner life the leprosies of
sin were slowly eating the thing away. The rotting of a corpse in a watery
grave was not so fearful.
His hand
shook, and the candle fell from its socket on the floor and lay there
sputtering. He placed his foot on it and put it out. Then he flung himself into
the rickety chair that was standing by the table and buried his face in his
hands.
“Good God,
Dorian, what a lesson! What an awful lesson!” There was no answer, but he could
hear the young man sobbing at the window. “Pray, Dorian, pray,” he murmured.
“What is it that one was taught to say in one’s boyhood? ‘Lead us not into
temptation. Forgive us our sins. Wash away our iniquities.’ Let us say that
together. The prayer of your pride has been answered. The prayer of your
repentance will be answered also. worshipped you too much. I am punished for
it. You worshipped yourself too much. We are both punished.”
Dorian Gray
turned slowly around and looked at him with tear-dimmed eyes. “It is too late,
Basil,” he faltered.
“It is
never too late, Dorian. Let us kneel down and try if we cannot remember a
prayer. Isn’t there a verse somewhere, ‘Though your sins be as scarlet, yet I
will make them as white as snow’?”
“Those
words mean nothing to me now.”
“Hush!
Don’t say that. You have done enough evil in your life. My God! Don’t you see
that accursed thing leering at us?”
Dorian Gray
glanced at the picture, and suddenly an uncontrollable feeling of hatred for
Basil Hallward came over him, as though it had been suggested to him by the
image on the canvas, whispered into his ear by those grinning lips. The mad
passions of a hunted animal stirred within him, and he loathed the man who was
seated at the table, more than in his whole life he had ever loathed anything.
He glanced wildly around. Something glimmered on the top of the painted chest
that faced him. His eye fell on it. He knew what it was. It was a knife that he
had brought up, some days before, to cut a piece of cord, and had forgotten to
take away with him. He moved slowly towards it, passing Hallward as he did so.
As soon as he got behind him, he seized it and turned round. Hallward stirred
in his chair as if he was going to rise. He rushed at him and dug the knife
into the great vein that is behind the ear, crushing the man’s head down on the
table and stabbing again and again.
There was a
stifled groan and the horrible sound of some one choking with blood. Three
times the outstretched arms shot up convulsively, waving grotesque,
stiff-fingered hands in the air. He stabbed him twice more, but the man did not
move. Something began to trickle on the floor. He waited for a moment, still
pressing the head down. Then he threw the knife on the table, and listened.
He could
hear nothing, but the drip, drip on the threadbare carpet. He opened the door
and went out on the landing. The house was absolutely quiet. No one was about.
For a few seconds he stood bending over the balustrade and peering down into
the black seething well of darkness. Then he took out the key and returned to
the room, locking himself in as he did so.
The thing
was still seated in the chair, straining over the table with bowed head, and
humped back, and long fantastic arms. Had it not been for the red jagged tear
in the neck and the clotted black pool that was slowly widening on the table,
one would have said that the man was simply asleep.
How quickly
it had all been done! He felt strangely calm, and walking over to the window,
opened it and stepped out on the balcony. The wind had blown the fog away, and
the sky was like a monstrous peacock’s tail, starred with myriads of golden
eyes. He looked down and saw the policeman going his rounds and flashing the
long beam of his lantern on the doors of the silent houses. The crimson spot of
a prowling hansom gleamed at the corner and then vanished. A woman in a
fluttering shawl was creeping slowly by the railings, staggering as she went.
Now and then she stopped and peered back. Once, she began to sing in a hoarse
voice. The policeman strolled over and said something to her. She stumbled
away, laughing. A bitter blast swept across the square. The gas-lamps flickered
and became blue, and the leafless trees shook their black iron branches to and
fro. He shivered and went back, closing the window behind him.
Having
reached the door, he turned the key and opened it. He did not even glance at
the murdered man. He felt that the secret of the whole thing was not to realise
the situation. The friend who had painted the fatal portrait to which all his
misery had been due had gone out of his life. That was enough.
Then he
remembered the lamp. It was a rather curious one of Moorish workmanship, made
of dull silver inlaid with arabesques of burnished steel, and studded with
coarse turquoises. Perhaps it might be missed by his servant, and questions
would be asked. He hesitated for a moment, then he turned back and took it from
the table. He could not help seeing the dead thing. How still it was! How
horribly white the long hands looked! It was like a dreadful wax image.
Having
locked the door behind him, he crept quietly downstairs. The woodwork creaked
and seemed to cry out as if in pain. He stopped several times and waited. No:
everything was still. It was merely the sound of his own footsteps.
When he
reached the library, he saw the bag and coat in the corner. They must be hidden
away somewhere. He unlocked a secret press that was in the wainscoting, a press
in which he kept his own curious disguises, and put them into it. He could
easily burn them afterwards. Then he pulled out his watch. It was twenty
minutes to two.
He sat down
and began to think. Every year—every month, almost—men were strangled in
England for what he had done. There had been a madness of murder in the air.
Some red star had come too close to the earth. . . . And yet, what evidence was
there against him? Basil Hallward had left the house at eleven. No one had seen
him come in again. Most of the servants were at Selby Royal. His valet had gone
to bed. . . . Paris! Yes. It was to Paris that Basil had gone, and by the
midnight train, as he had intended. With his curious reserved habits, it would
be months before any suspicions would be roused. Months! Everything could be
destroyed long before then.
A sudden
thought struck him. He put on his fur coat and hat and went out into the hall.
There he paused, hearing the slow heavy tread of the policeman on the pavement
outside and seeing the flash of the bull’s-eye reflected in the window. He
waited and held his breath.
After a few
moments he drew back the latch and slipped out, shutting the door very gently
behind him. Then he began ringing the bell. In about five minutes his valet
appeared, half-dressed and looking very drowsy.
“I am sorry
to have had to wake you up, Francis,” he said, stepping in; “but I had
forgotten my latch-key. What time is it?”
“Ten
minutes past two, sir,” answered the man, looking at the clock and blinking.
“Ten
minutes past two? How horribly late! You must wake me at nine to-morrow. I have
some work to do.”
“All right,
sir.”
“Did any
one call this evening?”
“Mr.
Hallward, sir. He stayed here till eleven, and then he went away to catch his
train.”
“Oh! I am
sorry I didn’t see him. Did he leave any message?”
“No, sir,
except that he would write to you from Paris, if he did not find you at the
club.”
“That will
do, Francis. Don’t forget to call me at nine to-morrow.”
“No, sir.”
The man shambled
down the passage in his slippers.
Dorian Gray
threw his hat and coat upon the table and passed into the library. For a
quarter of an hour he walked up and down the room, biting his lip and thinking.
Then he took down the Blue Book from one of the shelves and began to turn over
the leaves. “Alan Campbell, 152, Hertford Street, Mayfair.” Yes; that was the
man he wanted.
Chapter 14
At nine
o’clock the next morning his servant came in with a cup of chocolate on a tray
and opened the shutters. Dorian was sleeping quite peacefully, lying on his
right side, with one hand underneath his cheek. He looked like a boy who had
been tired out with play, or study.
The man had
to touch him twice on the shoulder before he woke, and as he opened his eyes a
faint smile passed across his lips, as though he had been lost in some
delightful dream. Yet he had not dreamed at all. His night had been untroubled
by any images of pleasure or of pain. But youth smiles without any reason. It
is one of its chiefest charms.
He turned
round, and leaning upon his elbow, began to sip his chocolate. The mellow
November sun came streaming into the room. The sky was bright, and there was a
genial warmth in the air. It was almost like a morning in May.
Gradually
the events of the preceding night crept with silent, blood-stained feet into
his brain and reconstructed themselves there with terrible distinctness. He
winced at the memory of all that he had suffered, and for a moment the same
curious feeling of loathing for Basil Hallward that had made him kill him as he
sat in the chair came back to him, and he grew cold with passion. The dead man
was still sitting there, too, and in the sunlight now. How horrible that was!
Such hideous things were for the darkness, not for the day.
He felt
that if he brooded on what he had gone through he would sicken or grow mad.
There were sins whose fascination was more in the memory than in the doing of
them, strange triumphs that gratified the pride more than the passions, and
gave to the intellect a quickened sense of joy, greater than any joy they
brought, or could ever bring, to the senses. But this was not one of them. It
was a thing to be driven out of the mind, to be drugged with poppies, to be
strangled lest it might strangle one itself.
When the
half-hour struck, he passed his hand across his forehead, and then got up
hastily and dressed himself with even more than his usual care, giving a good
deal of attention to the choice of his necktie and scarf-pin and changing his
rings more than once. He spent a long time also over breakfast, tasting the
various dishes, talking to his valet about some new liveries that he was
thinking of getting made for the servants at Selby, and going through his
correspondence. At some of the letters, he smiled. Three of them bored him. One
he read several times over and then tore up with a slight look of annoyance in
his face. “That awful thing, a woman’s memory!” as Lord Henry had once said.
After he
had drunk his cup of black coffee, he wiped his lips slowly with a napkin,
motioned to his servant to wait, and going over to the table, sat down and
wrote two letters. One he put in his pocket, the other he handed to the valet.
“Take this
round to 152, Hertford Street, Francis, and if Mr. Campbell is out of town, get
his address.”
As soon as
he was alone, he lit a cigarette and began sketching upon a piece of paper,
drawing first flowers and bits of architecture, and then human faces. Suddenly
he remarked that every face that he drew seemed to have a fantastic likeness to
Basil Hallward. He frowned, and getting up, went over to the book-case and took
out a volume at hazard. He was determined that he would not think about what
had happened until it became absolutely necessary that he should do so.
When he had
stretched himself on the sofa, he looked at the title-page of the book. It was
Gautier’s Emaux et Cam
“Sur une
gamme chromatique,
Le sein de
peries ruisselant,
La V Sort
de l’eau son corps rose et blanc.
Les domes,
sur l’azur des ondes
Suivant la
phrase au pur contour,
S’enflent
comme des gorges rondes
Que soul
L’esquif
aborde et me d Jetant son amarre au pilier,
Devant une
fa Sur le marbre d’un escalier.
How
exquisite they were! As one read them, one seemed to be floating down the green
water-ways of the pink and pearl city, seated in a black gondola with silver
prow and trailing curtains. The mere lines looked to him like those straight
lines of turquoise-blue that follow one as one pushes out to the Lido. The
sudden flashes of colour reminded him of the gleam of the
opal-and-iris-throated birds that flutter round the tall honeycombed Campanile,
or stalk, with such stately grace, through the dim, dust-stained arcades.
Leaning back with half-closed eyes, he kept saying over and over to himself:—
Devant une
fa Sur le marbre d’un escalier.
The whole
of Venice was in those two lines. He remembered the autumn that he had passed
there, and a wonderful love that had stirred him to mad delightful follies.
There was romance in every place. But Venice, like Oxford, had kept the
background for romance, and, to the true romantic, background was everything,
or almost everything. Basil had been with him part of the time, and had gone
wild over Tintoret. Poor Basil! what a horrible way for a man to die!
He sighed,
and took up the volume again, and tried to forget. He read of the swallows that
fly in and out of the little caf He was an extremely clever young man, though
he had no real appreciation of the visible arts, and whatever little sense of
the beauty of poetry he possessed he had gained entirely from Dorian. His
dominant intellectual passion was for science. At Cambridge he had spent a
great deal of his time working in the laboratory, and had taken a good class in
the Natural Science Tripos of his year. Indeed, he was still devoted to the
study of chemistry, and had a laboratory of his own in which he used to shut
himself up all day long, greatly to the annoyance of his mother, who had set
her heart on his standing for Parliament and had a vague idea that a chemist
was a person who made up prescriptions. He was an excellent musician, however,
as well, and played both the violin and the piano better than most amateurs. In
fact, it was music that had first brought him and Dorian Gray together—music
and that indefinable attraction that Dorian seemed to be able to exercise
whenever he wished—and, indeed, exercised often without being conscious of it.
They had met at Lady Berkshire’s the night that Rubinstein played there, and
after that used to be always seen together at the opera and wherever good music
was going on. For eighteen months their intimacy lasted. Campbell was always
either at Selby Royal or in Grosvenor Square. To him, as to many others, Dorian
Gray was the type of everything that is wonderful and fascinating in life.
Whether or not a quarrel had taken place between them no one ever knew. But
suddenly people remarked that they scarcely spoke when they met and that
Campbell seemed always to go away early from any party at which Dorian Gray was
present. He had changed, too—was strangely melancholy at times, appeared almost
to dislike hearing music, and would never himself play, giving as his excuse,
when he was called upon, that he was so absorbed in science that he had no time
left in which to practise. And this was certainly true. Every day he seemed to
become more interested in biology, and his name appeared once or twice in some
of the scientific reviews in connection with certain curious experiments.
This was
the man Dorian Gray was waiting for. Every second he kept glancing at the
clock. As the minutes went by he became horribly agitated. At last he got up
and began to pace up and down the room, looking like a beautiful caged thing.
He took long stealthy strides. His hands were curiously cold.
The
suspense became unbearable. Time seemed to him to be crawling with feet of
lead, while he by monstrous winds was being swept towards the jagged edge of
some black cleft of precipice. He knew what was waiting for him there; saw it,
indeed, and, shuddering, crushed with dank hands his burning lids as though he
would have robbed the very brain of sight and driven the eyeballs back into
their cave. It was useless. The brain had its own food on which it battened,
and the imagination, made grotesque by terror, twisted and distorted as a
living thing by pain, danced like some foul puppet on a stand and grinned
through moving masks. Then, suddenly, time stopped for him. Yes: that blind,
slow-breathing thing crawled no more, and horrible thoughts, time being dead,
raced nimbly on in front, and dragged a hideous future from its grave, and
showed it to him. He stared at it. Its very horror made him stone.
At last the
door opened and his servant entered. He turned glazed eyes upon him.
“Mr.
Campbell, sir,” said the man.
A sigh of
relief broke from his parched lips, and the colour came back to his cheeks.
“Ask him to
come in at once, Francis.” He felt that he was himself again. His mood of
cowardice had passed away.
The man
bowed and retired. In a few moments, Alan Campbell walked in, looking very
stern and rather pale, his pallor being intensified by his coal-black hair and
dark eyebrows.
“Alan! This
is kind of you. I thank you for coming.”
“I had
intended never to enter your house again, Gray. But you said it was a matter of
life and death.” His voice was hard and cold. He spoke with slow deliberation.
There was a look of contempt in the steady searching gaze that he turned on
Dorian. He kept his hands in the pockets of his Astrakhan coat, and seemed not
to have noticed the gesture with which he had been greeted.
“Yes: it is
a matter of life and death, Alan, and to more than one person. Sit down.”
Campbell
took a chair by the table, and Dorian sat opposite to him. The two men’s eyes
met. In Dorian’s there was infinite pity. He knew that what he was going to do
was dreadful.
After a
strained moment of silence, he leaned across and said, very quietly, but
watching the effect of each word upon the face of him he had sent for, “Alan,
in a locked room at the top of this house, a room to which nobody but myself
has access, a dead man is seated at a table. He has been dead ten hours now.
Don’t stir, and don’t look at me like that. Who the man is, why he died, how he
died, are matters that do not concern you. What you have to do is this—”
“Stop,
Gray. I don’t want to know anything further. Whether what you have told me is
true or not true doesn’t concern me. I entirely decline to be mixed up in your
life. Keep your horrible secrets to yourself. They don’t interest me any more.”
“Alan, they
will have to interest you. This one will have to interest you. I am awfully
sorry for you, Alan. But I can’t help myself. You are the one man who is able
to save me. I am forced to bring you into the matter. I have no option. Alan,
you are scientific. You know about chemistry and things of that kind. You have
made experiments. What you have got to do is to destroy the thing that is
upstairs—to destroy it so that not a vestige of it will be left. Nobody saw
this person come into the house. Indeed, at the present moment he is supposed
to be in Paris. He will not be missed for months. When he is missed, there must
be no trace of him found here. You, Alan, you must change him, and everything
that belongs to him, into a handful of ashes that I may scatter in the air.”
“You are
mad, Dorian.”
“Ah! I was
waiting for you to call me Dorian.”
“You are
mad, I tell you—mad to imagine that I would raise a finger to help you, mad to
make this monstrous confession. I will have nothing to do with this matter,
whatever it is. Do you think I am going to peril my reputation for you? What is
it to me what devil’s work you are up to?”
“It was
suicide, Alan.”
“I am glad
of that. But who drove him to it? You, I should fancy.”
“Do you
still refuse to do this for me?”
“Of course
I refuse. I will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I don’t care what shame
comes on you. You deserve it all. I should not be sorry to see you disgraced,
publicly disgraced. How dare you ask me, of all men in the world, to mix myself
up in this horror? I should have thought you knew more about people’s
characters. Your friend Lord Henry Wotton can’t have taught you much about
psychology, whatever else he has taught you. Nothing will induce me to stir a
step to help you. You have come to the wrong man. Go to some of your friends.
Don’t come to me.”
“Alan, it
was murder. I killed him. You don’t know what he had made me suffer. Whatever
my life is, he had more to do with the making or the marring of it than poor
Harry has had. He may not have intended it, the result was the same.”
“Murder!
Good God, Dorian, is that what you have come to? I shall not inform upon you.
It is not my business. Besides, without my stirring in the matter, you are
certain to be arrested. Nobody ever commits a crime without doing something
stupid. But I will have nothing to do with it.”
“You must
have something to do with it. Wait, wait a moment; listen to me. Only listen,
Alan. All I ask of you is to perform a certain scientific experiment. You go to
hospitals and dead-houses, and the horrors that you do there don’t affect you.
If in some hideous dissecting-room or fetid laboratory you found this man lying
on a leaden table with red gutters scooped out in it for the blood to flow
through, you would simply look upon him as an admirable subject. You would not
turn a hair. You would not believe that you were doing anything wrong. On the
contrary, you would probably feel that you were benefiting the human race, or
increasing the sum of knowledge in the world, or gratifying intellectual
curiosity, or something of that kind. What I want you to do is merely what you
have often done before. Indeed, to destroy a body must be far less horrible
than what you are accustomed to work at. And, remember, it is the only piece of
evidence against me. If it is discovered, I am lost; and it is sure to be
discovered unless you help me.”
“I have no
desire to help you. You forget that. I am simply indifferent to the whole
thing. It has nothing to do with me.”
“Alan, I
entreat you. Think of the position I am in. Just before you came I almost
fainted with terror. You may know terror yourself some day. No! don’t think of
that. Look at the matter purely from the scientific point of view. You don’t
inquire where the dead things on which you experiment come from. Don’t inquire
now. I have told you too much as it is. But I beg of you to do this. We were
friends once, Alan.”
“Don’t
speak about those days, Dorian—they are dead.”
“The dead
linger sometimes. The man upstairs will not go away. He is sitting at the table
with bowed head and outstretched arms. Alan! Alan! If you don’t come to my
assistance, I am ruined.
Why, they
will hang me, Alan! Don’t you understand? They will hang me for what I have
done.”
“There is
no good in prolonging this scene. I absolutely refuse to do anything in the
matter. It is insane of you to ask me.”
“You
refuse?”
“Yes.”
“I entreat
you, Alan.”
“It is
useless.”
The same
look of pity came into Dorian Gray’s eyes. Then he stretched out his hand, took
a piece of paper, and wrote something on it. He read it over twice, folded it
carefully, and pushed it across the table. Having done this, he got up and went
over to the window.
Campbell
looked at him in surprise, and then took up the paper, and opened it. As he
read it, his face became ghastly pale and he fell back in his chair. A horrible
sense of sickness came over him. He felt as if his heart was beating itself to
death in some empty hollow.
After two
or three minutes of terrible silence, Dorian turned round and came and stood
behind him, putting his hand upon his shoulder.
“I am so
sorry for you, Alan,” he murmured, “but you leave me no alternative. I have a
letter written already. Here it is. You see the address. If you don’t help me,
I must send it. If you don’t help me, I will send it. You know what the result
will be. But you are going to help me. It is impossible for you to refuse now.
I tried to spare you. You will do me the justice to admit that. You were stern,
harsh, offensive. You treated me as no man has ever dared to treat me—no living
man, at any rate. I bore it all. Now it is for me to dictate terms.”
Campbell
buried his face in his hands, and a shudder passed through him.
“Yes, it is
my turn to dictate terms, Alan. You know what they are. The thing is quite
simple. Come, don’t work yourself into this fever. The thing has to be done.
Face it, and do it.”
A groan
broke from Campbell’s lips and he shivered all over. The ticking of the clock
on the mantelpiece seemed to him to be dividing time into separate atoms of
agony, each of which was too terrible to be borne. He felt as if an iron ring
was being slowly tightened round his forehead, as if the disgrace with which he
was threatened had already come upon him. The hand upon his shoulder weighed
like a hand of lead. It was intolerable. It seemed to crush him.
“Come,
Alan, you must decide at once.”
“I cannot
do it,” he said, mechanically, as though words could alter things.
“You must.
You have no choice. Don’t delay.”
He
hesitated a moment. “Is there a fire in the room upstairs?”
“Yes, there
is a gas-fire with asbestos.”
“I shall
have to go home and get some things from the laboratory.”
“No, Alan,
you must not leave the house. Write out on a sheet of notepaper what you want
and my servant will take a cab and bring the things back to you.”
Campbell
scrawled a few lines, blotted them, and addressed an envelope to his assistant.
Dorian took the note up and read it carefully. Then he rang the bell and gave
it to his valet, with orders to return as soon as possible and to bring the
things with him.
As the hall
door shut, Campbell started nervously, and having got up from the chair, went
over to the chimney-piece. He was shivering with a kind of ague. For nearly
twenty minutes, neither of the men spoke. A fly buzzed noisily about the room,
and the ticking of the clock was like the beat of a hammer.
As the
chime struck one, Campbell turned round, and looking at Dorian Gray, saw that
his eyes were filled with tears. There was something in the purity and
refinement of that sad face that seemed to enrage him. “You are infamous, absolutely
infamous!” he muttered.
“Hush,
Alan. You have saved my life,” said Dorian.
“Your life?
Good heavens! what a life that is! You have gone from corruption to corruption,
and now you have culminated in crime. In doing what I am going to do—what you
force me to do—it is not of your life that I am thinking.”
“Ah, Alan,”
murmured Dorian with a sigh, “I wish you had a thousandth part of the pity for
me that I have for you.” He turned away as he spoke and stood looking out at
the garden. Campbell made no answer.
After about
ten minutes a knock came to the door, and the servant entered, carrying a large
mahogany chest of chemicals, with a long coil of steel and platinum wire and
two rather curiously shaped iron clamps.
“Shall I
leave the things here, sir?” he asked Campbell.
“Yes,” said
Dorian. “And I am afraid, Francis, that I have another errand for you. What is
the name of the man at Richmond who supplies Selby with orchids?”
“Harden,
sir.”
“Yes—Harden.
You must go down to Richmond at once, see Harden personally, and tell him to
send twice as many orchids as I ordered, and to have as few white ones as
possible. In fact, I don’t want any white ones. It is a lovely day, Francis,
and Richmond is a very pretty place—otherwise I wouldn’t bother you about it.”
“No
trouble, sir. At what time shall I be back?”
Dorian
looked at Campbell. “How long will your experiment take, Alan?” he said in a
calm indifferent voice. The presence of a third person in the room seemed to
give him extraordinary courage.
Campbell
frowned and bit his lip. “It will take about five hours,” he answered.
“It will be
time enough, then, if you are back at half-past seven, Francis. Or stay: just
leave my things out for dressing. You can have the evening to yourself. I am
not dining at home, so I shall not want you.”
“Thank you,
sir,” said the man, leaving the room.
“Now, Alan,
there is not a moment to be lost. How heavy this chest is! I’ll take it for
you. You bring the other things.” He spoke rapidly and in an authoritative
manner. Campbell felt dominated by him. They left the room together.
When they
reached the top landing, Dorian took out the key and turned it in the lock.
Then he stopped, and a troubled look came into his eyes. He shuddered. “I don’t
think I can go in, Alan,” he murmured.
“It is
nothing to me. I don’t require you,” said Campbell coldly.
Dorian half
opened the door. As he did so, he saw the face of his portrait leering in the
sunlight. On the floor in front of it the torn curtain was lying. He remembered
that the night before he had forgotten, for the first time in his life, to hide
the fatal canvas, and was about to rush forward, when he drew back with a
shudder.
What was
that loathsome red dew that gleamed, wet and glistening, on one of the hands,
as though the canvas had sweated blood? How horrible it was!—more horrible, it
seemed to him for the moment, than the silent thing that he knew was stretched
across the table, the thing whose grotesque misshapen shadow on the spotted
carpet showed him that it had not stirred, but was still there, as he had left
it.
He heaved a
deep breath, opened the door a little wider, and with half-closed eyes and
averted head, walked quickly in, determined that he would not look even once
upon the dead man. Then, stooping down and taking up the gold-and-purple
hanging, he flung it right over the picture.
There he
stopped, feeling afraid to turn round, and his eyes fixed themselves on the
intricacies of the pattern before him. He heard Campbell bringing in the heavy
chest, and the irons, and the other things that he had required for his
dreadful work. He began to wonder if he and Basil Hallward had ever met, and,
if so, what they had thought of each other.
“Leave me
now,” said a stern voice behind him.
He turned
and hurried out, just conscious that the dead man had been thrust back into the
chair and that Campbell was gazing into a glistening yellow face. As he was
going downstairs, he heard the key being turned in the lock.
It was long
after seven when Campbell came back into the library. He was pale, but
absolutely calm. “I have done what you asked me to do,” he muttered “And now,
good-bye. Let us never see each other again.”
“You have
saved me from ruin, Alan. I cannot forget that,” said Dorian simply. As soon as
Campbell had left, he went upstairs. There was a horrible smell of nitric acid
in the room. But the thing that had been sitting at the table was gone.
Chapter 15
That
evening, at eight-thirty, exquisitely dressed and wearing a large button-hole
of Parma violets, Dorian Gray was ushered into Lady Narborough’s drawing-room
by bowing servants. His forehead was throbbing with maddened nerves, and he
felt wildly excited, but his manner as he bent over his hostess’s hand was as
easy and graceful as ever. Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as
when one has to play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night
could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any
tragedy of our age. Those finely shaped fingers could never have clutched a
knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God and goodness. He
himself could not help wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment
felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life.
It was a
small party, got up rather in a hurry by Lady Narborough, who was a very clever
woman with what Lord Henry used to describe as the remains of really remarkable
ugliness. She had proved an excellent wife to one of our most tedious
ambassadors, and having buried her husband properly in a marble mausoleum,
which she had herself designed, and married off her daughters to some rich,
rather elderly men, she devoted herself now to the pleasures of French fiction,
French cookery, and French esprit when she could get it.
Dorian was
one of her especial favourites, and she always told him that she was extremely
glad she had not met him in early life. “I know, my dear, I should have fallen
madly in love with you,” she used to say, “and thrown my bonnet right over the
mills for your sake. It is most fortunate that you were not thought of at the
time. As it was, our bonnets were so unbecoming, and the mills were so occupied
in trying to raise the wind, that I never had even a flirtation with anybody.
However, that was all Narborough’s fault. He was dreadfully short-sighted, and
there is no pleasure in taking in a husband who never sees anything.”
Her guests
this evening were rather tedious. The fact was, as she explained to Dorian,
behind a very shabby fan, one of her married daughters had come up quite
suddenly to stay with her, and, to make matters worse, had actually brought her
husband with her. “I think it is most unkind of her, my dear,” she whispered.
“Of course I go and stay with them every summer after I come from Homburg, but
then an old woman like me must have fresh air sometimes, and besides, I really
wake them up. You don’t know what an existence they lead down there. It is pure
unadulterated country life. They get up early, because they have so much to do,
and go to bed early, because they have so little to think about. There has not
been a scandal in the neighbourhood since the time of Queen Elizabeth, and
consequently they all fall asleep after dinner. You shan’t sit next either of
them. You shall sit by me and amuse me.”
Dorian
murmured a graceful compliment and looked round the room. Yes: it was certainly
a tedious party. Two of the people he had never seen before, and the others
consisted of Ernest Harrowden, one of those middle-aged mediocrities so common
in London clubs who have no enemies, but are thoroughly disliked by their
friends; Lady Ruxton, an overdressed woman of forty-seven, with a hooked nose,
who was always trying to get herself compromised, but was so peculiarly plain
that to her great disappointment no one would ever believe anything against
her; Mrs. Erlynne, a pushing nobody, with a delightful lisp and Venetian-red
hair; Lady Alice Chapman, his hostess’s daughter, a dowdy dull girl, with one
of those characteristic British faces that, once seen, are never remembered;
and her husband, a red-cheeked, white-whiskered creature who, like so many of
his class, was under the impression that inordinate joviality can atone for an
entire lack of ideas.
He was
rather sorry he had come, till Lady Narborough, looking at the great ormolu
gilt clock that sprawled in gaudy curves on the mauve-draped mantelshelf,
exclaimed: “How horrid of Henry Wotton to be so late! I sent round to him this
morning on chance and he promised faithfully not to disappoint me.”
It was some
consolation that Harry was to be there, and when the door opened and he heard
his slow musical voice lending charm to some insincere apology, he ceased to
feel bored.
But at dinner
he could not eat anything. Plate after plate went away untasted. Lady
Narborough kept scolding him for what she called “an insult to poor Adolphe,
who invented the menu specially for you,” and now and then Lord Henry looked
across at him, wondering at his silence and abstracted manner. From time to
time the butler filled his glass with champagne. He drank eagerly, and his
thirst seemed to increase.
“Dorian,”
said Lord Henry at last, as the chaudfroid was being handed round, “what is the
matter with you to-night? You are quite out of sorts.”
“I believe
he is in love,” cried Lady Narborough, and that he is afraid to tell me for
fear I should be jealous. He is quite right. I certainly should.”
“Dear Lady
Narborough,” murmured Dorian, smiling, “I have not been in love for a whole
week—not, in fact, since Madame de Ferrol left town.”
“How you
men can fall in love with that woman!” exclaimed the old lady. “I really cannot
understand it.”
“It is
simply because she remembers you when you were a little girl, Lady Narborough,”
said Lord Henry. “She is the one link between us and your short frocks.”
“She does
not remember my short frocks at all, Lord Henry. But I remember her very well
at Vienna thirty years ago, and how d “She is still d “How can you, Harry!”
cried Dorian.
“It is a
most romantic explanation,” laughed the hostess. “But her third husband, Lord
Henry! You don’t mean to say Ferrol is the fourth?”
“Certainly,
Lady Narborough.”
“I don’t
believe a word of it.”
“Well, ask
Mr. Gray. He is one of her most intimate friends.”
“Is it
true, Mr. Gray?”
“She
assures me so, Lady Narborough,” said Dorian. “I asked her whether, like
Marguerite de Navarre, she had their hearts embalmed and hung at her girdle.
She told me she didn’t, because none of them had had any hearts at all.”
“Four
husbands! Upon my word that is trop de z “ Trop d’audace , I tell her,” said
Dorian.
“Oh! she is
audacious enough for anything, my dear. And what is Ferrol like? I don’t know
him.”
“The
husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes,” said Lord
Henry, sipping his wine.
Lady
Narborough hit him with her fan. “Lord Henry, I am not at all surprised that
the world says that you are extremely wicked.”
“But what
world says that?” asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows. “It can only be the
next world. This world and I are on excellent terms.”
“Everybody
I know says you are very wicked,” cried the old lady, shaking her head.
Lord Henry
looked serious for some moments. “It is perfectly monstrous,” he said, at last,
“the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one’s back
that are absolutely and entirely true.”
“Isn’t he
incorrigible?” cried Dorian, leaning forward in his chair.
“I hope
so,” said his hostess, laughing. “But really, if you all worship Madame de Ferrol
in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry again so as to be in the
fashion.”
“You will
never marry again, Lady Narborough,” broke in Lord Henry. “You were far too
happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first
husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife.
Women try their luck; men risk theirs.”
“Narborough
wasn’t perfect,” cried the old lady.
“If he had
been, you would not have loved him, my dear lady,” was the rejoinder. “Women
love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us
everything, even our intellects. You will never ask me to dinner again after
saying this, I am afraid, Lady Narborough, but it is quite true.”
“Of course
it is true, Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for your defects, where
would you all be? Not one of you would ever be married. You would be a set of
unfortunate bachelors. Not, however, that that would alter you much. Nowadays
all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married
men.”
“ Fin de si
“ Fin du globe ,” answered his hostess.
“I wish it
were fin du globe ,” said Dorian with a sigh. “Life is a great disappointment.”
“Ah, my
dear,” cried Lady Narborough, putting on her gloves, “don’t tell me that you
have exhausted life. When a man says that one knows that life has exhausted
him. Lord Henry is very wicked, and I sometimes wish that I had been; but you
are made to be good—you look so good. I must find you a nice wife. Lord Henry,
don’t you think that Mr. Gray should get married?”
“I am
always telling him so, Lady Narborough,” said Lord Henry with a bow.
“Well, we
must look out for a suitable match for him. I shall go through Debrett
carefully to-night and draw out a list of all the eligible young ladies.”
“With their
ages, Lady Narborough?” asked Dorian.
“Of course,
with their ages, slightly edited. But nothing must be done in a hurry. I want
it to be what The Morning Post calls a suitable alliance, and I want you both
to be happy.”
“What
nonsense people talk about happy marriages!” exclaimed Lord Henry. “A man can
be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.”
“Ah! what a
cynic you are!” cried the old lady, pushing back her chair and nodding to Lady
Ruxton. “You must come and dine with me soon again. You are really an admirable
tonic, much better than what Sir Andrew prescribes for me. You must tell me
what people you would like to meet, though. I want it to be a delightful
gathering.”
“I like men
who have a future and women who have a past,” he answered. “Or do you think
that would make it a petticoat party?”
“I fear
so,” she said, laughing, as she stood up. “A thousand pardons, my dear Lady
Ruxton,” she added, “I didn’t see you hadn’t finished your cigarette.”
“Never
mind, Lady Narborough. I smoke a great deal too much. I am going to limit
myself, for the future.”
“Pray
don’t, Lady Ruxton,” said Lord Henry. “Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is
as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast.”
Lady Ruxton
glanced at him curiously. “You must come and explain that to me some afternoon,
Lord Henry. It sounds a fascinating theory,” she murmured, as she swept out of
the room.
“Now, mind
you don’t stay too long over your politics and scandal,” cried Lady Narborough
from the door. “If you do, we are sure to squabble upstairs.”
The men
laughed, and Mr. Chapman got up solemnly from the foot of the table and came up
to the top. Dorian Gray changed his seat and went and sat by Lord Henry. Mr.
Chapman began to talk in a loud voice about the situation in the House of
Commons. He guffawed at his adversaries. The word doctrinaire —word full of terror
to the British mind—reappeared from time to time between his explosions. An
alliterative prefix served as an ornament of oratory. He hoisted the Union Jack
on the pinnacles of thought. The inherited stupidity of the race—sound English
common sense he jovially termed it—was shown to be the proper bulwark for
society.
A smile
curved Lord Henry’s lips, and he turned round and looked at Dorian.
“Are you
better, my dear fellow?” he asked. “You seemed rather out of sorts at dinner.”
“I am quite
well, Harry. I am tired. That is all.”
“You were
charming last night. The little duchess is quite devoted to you. She tells me
she is going down to Selby.”
“She has
promised to come on the twentieth.”
“Is
Monmouth to be there, too?”
“Oh, yes,
Harry.”
“He bores
me dreadfully, almost as much as he bores her. She is very clever, too clever
for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness. It is the feet of
clay that make the gold of the image precious. Her feet are very pretty, but
they are not feet of clay. White porcelain feet, if you like. They have been
through the fire, and what fire does not destroy, it hardens. She has had
experiences.”
“How long
has she been married?” asked Dorian.
“An
eternity, she tells me. I believe, according to the peerage, it is ten years,
but ten years with Monmouth must have been like eternity, with time thrown in.
Who else is coming?”
“Oh, the
Willoughbys, Lord Rugby and his wife, our hostess, Geoffrey Clouston, the usual
set. I have asked Lord Grotrian.”
“I like
him,” said Lord Henry. “A great many people don’t, but I find him charming. He
atones for being occasionally somewhat overdressed by being always absolutely
over-educated. He is a very modern type.”
“I don’t
know if he will be able to come, Harry. He may have to go to Monte Carlo with
his father.”
“Ah! what a
nuisance people’s people are! Try and make him come. By the way, Dorian, you
ran off very early last night. You left before eleven. What did you do
afterwards? Did you go straight home?”
Dorian
glanced at him hurriedly and frowned.
“No,
Harry,” he said at last, “I did not get home till nearly three.”
“Did you go
to the club?”
“Yes,” he
answered. Then he bit his lip. “No, I don’t mean that. I didn’t go to the club.
I walked about. I forget what I did. . . . How inquisitive you are, Harry! You
always want to know what one has been doing. I always want to forget what I
have been doing. I came in at half-past two, if you wish to know the exact
time. I had left my latch-key at home, and my servant had to let me in. If you
want any corroborative evidence on the subject, you can ask him.”
Lord Henry
shrugged his shoulders. “My dear fellow, as if I cared! Let us go up to the
drawing-room. No sherry, thank you, Mr. Chapman. Something has happened to you,
Dorian. Tell me what it is. You are not yourself to-night.”
“Don’t mind
me, Harry. I am irritable, and out of temper. I shall come round and see you
to-morrow, or next day. Make my excuses to Lady Narborough. I shan’t go
upstairs. I shall go home. I must go home.”
“All right,
Dorian. I dare say I shall see you to-morrow at tea-time. The duchess is
coming.”
“I will try
to be there, Harry,” he said, leaving the room. As he drove back to his own
house, he was conscious that the sense of terror he thought he had strangled
had come back to him. Lord Henry’s casual questioning had made him lose his
nerves for the moment, and he wanted his nerve still. Things that were
dangerous had to be destroyed. He winced. He hated the idea of even touching
them.
Yet it had
to be done. He realised that, and when he had locked the door of his library,
he opened the secret press into which he had thrust Basil Hallward’s coat and
bag. A huge fire was blazing. He piled another log on it. The smell of the
singeing clothes and burning leather was horrible. It took him three-quarters
of an hour to consume everything. At the end he felt faint and sick, and having
lit some Algerian pastilles in a pierced copper brazier, he bathed his hands and
forehead with a cool musk-scented vinegar.
Suddenly he
started. His eyes grew strangely bright, and he gnawed nervously at his
underlip. Between two of the windows stood a large Florentine cabinet, made out
of ebony and inlaid with ivory and blue lapis. He watched it as though it were
a thing that could fascinate and make afraid, as though it held something that
he longed for and yet almost loathed. His breath quickened. A mad craving came
over him. He lit a cigarette and then threw it away. His eyelids drooped till
the long fringed lashes almost touched his cheek. But he still watched the
cabinet. At last he got up from the sofa on which he had been lying, went over
to it, and having unlocked it, touched some hidden spring. A triangular drawer
passed slowly out. His fingers moved instinctively towards it, dipped in, and
closed on something. It was a small Chinese box of black and gold-dust lacquer,
elaborately wrought, the sides patterned with curved waves, and the silken
cords hung with round crystals and tasselled in plaited metal threads. He
opened it. Inside was a green paste, waxy in lustre, the odour curiously heavy
and persistent.
He
hesitated for some moments, with a strangely immobile smile upon his face. Then
shivering, though the atmosphere of the room was terribly hot, he drew himself
up and glanced at the clock. It was twenty minutes to twelve. He put the box
back, shutting the cabinet doors as he did so, and went into his bedroom.
As midnight
was striking bronze blows upon the dusky air, Dorian Gray, dressed commonly,
and with a muffler wrapped round his throat, crept quietly out of his house. In
Bond Street he found a hansom with a good horse. He hailed it and in a low
voice gave the driver an address.
The man
shook his head. “It is too far for me,” he muttered.
“Here is a
sovereign for you,” said Dorian. “You shall have another if you drive fast.”
“All right,
sir,” answered the man, “you will be there in an hour,” and after his fare had
got in he turned his horse round and drove rapidly towards the river.
Chapter 16
A cold rain
began to fall, and the blurred street-lamps looked ghastly in the dripping
mist. The public-houses were just closing, and dim men and women were
clustering in broken groups round their doors. From some of the bars came the
sound of horrible laughter. In others, drunkards brawled and screamed.
Lying back
in the hansom, with his hat pulled over his forehead, Dorian Gray watched with
listless eyes the sordid shame of the great city, and now and then he repeated
to himself the words that Lord Henry had said to him on the first day they had
met, “To cure the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of the
soul.” Yes, that was the secret. He had often tried it, and would try it again
now. There were opium dens where one could buy oblivion, dens of horror where
the memory of old sins could be destroyed by the madness of sins that were new.
The moon
hung low in the sky like a yellow skull. From time to time a huge misshapen
cloud stretched a long arm across and hid it. The gas-lamps grew fewer, and the
streets more narrow and gloomy. Once the man lost his way and had to drive back
half a mile. A steam rose from the horse as it splashed up the puddles. The
side-windows of the hansom were clogged with a grey-flannel mist.
“To cure
the soul by means of the senses, and the senses by means of the soul!” How the
words rang in his ears! His soul, certainly, was sick to death. Was it true
that the senses could cure it? Innocent blood had been spilled. What could
atone for that?
Ah! for
that there was no atonement; but though forgiveness was impossible,
forgetfulness was possible still, and he was determined to forget, to stamp the
thing out, to crush it as one would crush the adder that had stung one. Indeed,
what right had Basil to have spoken to him as he had done? Who had made him a
judge over others? He had said things that were dreadful, horrible, not to be
endured.
On and on
plodded the hansom, going slower, it seemed to him, at each step. He thrust up
the trap and called to the man to drive faster. The hideous hunger for opium
began to gnaw at him. His throat burned and his delicate hands twitched
nervously together. He struck at the horse madly with his stick. The driver
laughed and whipped up. He laughed in answer, and the man was silent.
The way
seemed interminable, and the streets like the black web of some sprawling
spider. The monotony became unbearable, and as the mist thickened, he felt
afraid.
Then they
passed by lonely brickfields. The fog was lighter here, and he could see the
strange, bottle-shaped kilns with their orange, fanlike tongues of fire. A dog
barked as they went by, and far away in the darkness some wandering sea-gull
screamed. The horse stumbled in a rut, then swerved aside and broke into a
gallop.
After some
time they left the clay road and rattled again over rough-paven streets. Most
of the windows were dark, but now and then fantastic shadows were silhouetted
against some lamp-lit blind. He watched them curiously. They moved like
monstrous marionettes and made gestures like live things. He hated them. A dull
rage was in his heart. As they turned a corner, a woman yelled something at
them from an open door, and two men ran after the hansom for about a hundred
yards. The driver beat at them with his whip.
It is said
that passion makes one think in a circle. Certainly with hideous iteration the
bitten lips of Dorian Gray shaped and reshaped those subtle words that dealt
with soul and sense, till he had found in them the full expression, as it were,
of his mood, and justified, by intellectual approval, passions that without
such justification would still have dominated his temper. From cell to cell of
his brain crept the one thought; and the wild desire to live, most terrible of
all man’s appetites, quickened into force each trembling nerve and fibre.
Ugliness that had once been hateful to him because it made things real, became
dear to him now for that very reason. Ugliness was the one reality. The coarse
brawl, the loathsome den, the crude violence of disordered life, the very
vileness of thief and outcast, were more vivid, in their intense actuality of
impression, than all the gracious shapes of Art, the dreamy shadows of Song.
They were what he needed for forgetfulness. In three days he would be free.
Suddenly
the man drew up with a jerk at the top of a dark lane. Over the low roofs and
jagged chimney-stacks of the houses rose the black masts of ships. Wreaths of
white mist clung like ghostly sails to the yards.
“Somewhere
about here, sir, ain’t it?” he asked huskily through the trap.
Dorian
started and peered round. “This will do,” he answered, and having got out
hastily and given the driver the extra fare he had promised him, he walked
quickly in the direction of the quay. Here and there a lantern gleamed at the
stern of some huge merchantman. The light shook and splintered in the puddles.
A red glare came from an outward-bound steamer that was coaling. The slimy
pavement looked like a wet mackintosh.
He hurried
on towards the left, glancing back now and then to see if he was being
followed. In about seven or eight minutes he reached a small shabby house that
was wedged in between two gaunt factories. In one of the top-windows stood a
lamp. He stopped and gave a peculiar knock.
After a
little time he heard steps in the passage and the chain being unhooked. The
door opened quietly, and he went in without saying a word to the squat
misshapen figure that flattened itself into the shadow as he passed. At the end
of the hall hung a tattered green curtain that swayed and shook in the gusty
wind which had followed him in from the street. He dragged it aside and entered
a long low room which looked as if it had once been a third-rate
dancing-saloon. Shrill flaring gas-jets, dulled and distorted in the fly-blown
mirrors that faced them, were ranged round the walls. Greasy reflectors of
ribbed tin backed them, making quivering disks of light. The floor was covered
with ochre-coloured sawdust, trampled here and there into mud, and stained with
dark rings of spilled liquor. Some Malays were crouching by a little charcoal
stove, playing with bone counters and showing their white teeth as they
chattered. In one corner, with his head buried in his arms, a sailor sprawled
over a table, and by the tawdrily painted bar that ran across one complete side
stood two haggard women, mocking an old man who was brushing the sleeves of his
coat with an expression of disgust. “He thinks he’s got red ants on him,”
laughed one of them, as Dorian passed by. The man looked at her in terror and
began to whimper.
At the end
of the room there was a little staircase, leading to a darkened chamber. As
Dorian hurried up its three rickety steps, the heavy odour of opium met him. He
heaved a deep breath, and his nostrils quivered with pleasure. When he entered,
a young man with smooth yellow hair, who was bending over a lamp lighting a
long thin pipe, looked up at him and nodded in a hesitating manner.
“You here,
Adrian?” muttered Dorian.
“Where else
should I be?” he answered, listlessly. “None of the chaps will speak to me
now.”
“I thought
you had left England.”
“Darlington
is not going to do anything. My brother paid the bill at last. George doesn’t
speak to me either. . . . I don’t care,” he added with a sigh. “As long as one
has this stuff, one doesn’t want friends. I think I have had too many friends.”
Dorian
winced and looked round at the grotesque things that lay in such fantastic
postures on the ragged mattresses. The twisted limbs, the gaping mouths, the
staring lustreless eyes, fascinated him. He knew in what strange heavens they
were suffering, and what dull hells were teaching them the secret of some new
joy. They were better off than he was. He was prisoned in thought. Memory, like
a horrible malady, was eating his soul away. From time to time he seemed to see
the eyes of Basil Hallward looking at him. Yet he felt he could not stay. The
presence of Adrian Singleton troubled him. He wanted to be where no one would
know who he was. He wanted to escape from himself.
“I am going
on to the other place,” he said after a pause.
“On the
wharf?”
“Yes.”
“That
mad-cat is sure to be there. They won’t have her in this place now.”
Dorian
shrugged his shoulders. “I am sick of women who love one. Women who hate one
are much more interesting. Besides, the stuff is better.”
“Much the
same.”
“I like it
better. Come and have something to drink. I must have something.”
“I don’t
want anything,” murmured the young man.
“Never
mind.”
Adrian
Singleton rose up wearily and followed Dorian to the bar. A half-caste, in a
ragged turban and a shabby ulster, grinned a hideous greeting as he thrust a
bottle of brandy and two tumblers in front of them. The women sidled up and
began to chatter. Dorian turned his back on them and said something in a low
voice to Adrian Singleton.
A crooked
smile, like a Malay crease, writhed across the face of one of the women. “We
are very proud to-night,” she sneered.
“For God’s
sake don’t talk to me,” cried Dorian, stamping his foot on the ground. “What do
you want? Money? Here it is. Don’t ever talk to me again.”
Two red
sparks flashed for a moment in the woman’s sodden eyes, then flickered out and
left them dull and glazed. She tossed her head and raked the coins off the
counter with greedy fingers. Her companion watched her enviously.
“It’s no
use,” sighed Adrian Singleton. “I don’t care to go back. What does it matter? I
am quite happy here.”
“You will
write to me if you want anything, won’t you?” said Dorian, after a pause.
“Perhaps.”
“Good
night, then.”
“Good
night,” answered the young man, passing up the steps and wiping his parched
mouth with a handkerchief.
Dorian
walked to the door with a look of pain in his face. As he drew the curtain
aside, a hideous laugh broke from the painted lips of the woman who had taken
his money. “There goes the devil’s bargain!” she hiccoughed, in a hoarse voice.
“Curse
you!” he answered, “don’t call me that.”
She snapped
her fingers. “Prince Charming is what you like to be called, ain’t it?” she
yelled after him.
The drowsy
sailor leaped to his feet as she spoke, and looked wildly round. The sound of
the shutting of the hall door fell on his ear. He rushed out as if in pursuit.
Dorian Gray
hurried along the quay through the drizzling rain. His meeting with Adrian
Singleton had strangely moved him, and he wondered if the ruin of that young
life was really to be laid at his door, as Basil Hallward had said to him with
such infamy of insult. He bit his lip, and for a few seconds his eyes grew sad.
Yet, after all, what did it matter to him? One’s days were too brief to take
the burden of another’s errors on one’s shoulders. Each man lived his own life
and paid his own price for living it. The only pity was one had to pay so often
for a single fault. One had to pay over and over again, indeed. In her dealings
with man, destiny never closed her accounts.
There are
moments, psychologists tell us, when the passion for sin, or for what the world
calls sin, so dominates a nature that every fibre of the body, as every cell of
the brain, seems to be instinct with fearful impulses. Men and women at such
moments lose the freedom of their will. They move to their terrible end as
automatons move. Choice is taken from them, and conscience is either killed,
or, if it lives at all, lives but to give rebellion its fascination and
disobedience its charm. For all sins, as theologians weary not of reminding us,
are sins of disobedience. When that high spirit, that morning star of evil,
fell from heaven, it was as a rebel that he fell.
Callous,
concentrated on evil, with stained mind, and soul hungry for rebellion, Dorian
Gray hastened on, quickening his step as he went, but as he darted aside into a
dim archway, that had served him often as a short cut to the ill-famed place
where he was going, he felt himself suddenly seized from behind, and before be
had time to defend himself, he was thrust back against the wall, with a brutal
hand round his throat.
He
struggled madly for life, and by a terrible effort wrenched the tightening
fingers away. In a second he heard the click of a revolver, and saw the gleam
of a polished barrel, pointing straight at his head, and the dusky form of a
short, thick-set man facing him.
“What do
you want?” he gasped.
“Keep
quiet,” said the man. “If you stir, I shoot you.”
“You are
mad. What have I done to you?”
“You
wrecked the life of Sibyl Vane,” was the answer, “and Sibyl Vane was my sister.
She killed herself. I know it. Her death is at your door. I swore I would kill
you in return. For years I have sought you. I had no clue, no trace. The two
people who could have described you were dead. I knew nothing of you but the
pet name she used to call you. I heard it to-night by chance. Make your peace
with God, for to-night you are going to die.”
Dorian Gray
grew sick with fear. “I never knew her,” he stammered. “I never heard of her.
You are mad.”
“You had
better confess your sin, for as sure as I am James Vane, you are going to die.”
There was a horrible moment. Dorian did not know what to say or do. “Down on
your knees!” growled the man. “I give you one minute to make your peace—no
more. I go on board to-night for India, and I must do my job first. One minute.
That’s all.”
Dorian’s
arms fell to his side. Paralysed with terror, he did not know what to do.
Suddenly a wild hope flashed across his brain. “Stop,” he cried. “How long ago
is it since your sister died? Quick, tell me!”
“Eighteen
years,” said the man. “Why do you ask me? What do years matter?”
“Eighteen
years,” laughed Dorian Gray, with a touch of triumph in his voice. “Eighteen
years! Set me under the lamp and look at my face!”
James Vane
hesitated for a moment, not understanding what was meant. Then he seized Dorian
Gray and dragged him from the archway.
Dim and
wavering as was the wind-blown light, yet it served to show him the hideous
error, as it seemed, into which he had fallen, for the face of the man he had
sought to kill had all the bloom of boyhood, all the unstained purity of youth.
He seemed little more than a lad of twenty summers, hardly older, if older
indeed at all, than his sister had been when they had parted so many years ago.
It was obvious that this was not the man who had destroyed her life.
He loosened
his hold and reeled back. “My God! my God!” he cried, “and I would have
murdered you!”
Dorian Gray
drew a long breath. “You have been on the brink of committing a terrible crime,
my man,” he said, looking at him sternly. “Let this be a warning to you not to
take vengeance into your own hands.”
“Forgive
me, sir,” muttered James Vane. “I was deceived. A chance word I heard in that
damned den set me on the wrong track.”
“You had
better go home and put that pistol away, or you may get into trouble,” said
Dorian, turning on his heel and going slowly down the street.
James Vane
stood on the pavement in horror. He was trembling from head to foot. After a
little while, a black shadow that had been creeping along the dripping wall
moved out into the light and came close to him with stealthy footsteps. He felt
a hand laid on his arm and looked round with a start. It was one of the women
who had been drinking at the bar.
“Why didn’t
you kill him?” she hissed out, putting haggard face quite close to his. “I knew
you were following him when you rushed out from Daly’s. You fool! You should
have killed him. He has lots of money, and he’s as bad as bad.”
“He is not
the man I am looking for,” he answered, “and I want no man’s money. I want a
man’s life. The man whose life I want must be nearly forty now. This one is
little more than a boy. Thank God, I have not got his blood upon my hands.”
The woman
gave a bitter laugh. “Little more than a boy!” she sneered. “Why, man, it’s
nigh on eighteen years since Prince Charming made me what I am.”
“You lie!”
cried James Vane.
She raised
her hand up to heaven. “Before God I am telling the truth,” she cried.
“Before God?”
“Strike me
dumb if it ain’t so. He is the worst one that comes here. They say he has sold
himself to the devil for a pretty face. It’s nigh on eighteen years since I met
him. He hasn’t changed much since then. I have, though,” she added, with a
sickly leer.
“You swear
this?”
“I swear
it,” came in hoarse echo from her flat mouth. “But don’t give me away to him,”
she whined; “I am afraid of him. Let me have some money for my night’s
lodging.”
He broke
from her with an oath and rushed to the corner of the street, but Dorian Gray
had disappeared. When he looked back, the woman had vanished also.
Chapter 17
A week
later Dorian Gray was sitting in the conservatory at Selby Royal, talking to
the pretty Duchess of Monmouth, who with her husband, a jaded-looking man of
sixty, was amongst his guests. It was tea-time, and the mellow light of the
huge, lace-covered lamp that stood on the table lit up the delicate china and
hammered silver of the service at which the duchess was presiding. Her white
hands were moving daintily among the cups, and her full red lips were smiling
at something that Dorian had whispered to her. Lord Henry was lying back in a
silk-draped wicker chair, looking at them. On a peach-coloured divan sat Lady
Narborough, pretending to listen to the duke’s description of the last
Brazilian beetle that he had added to his collection. Three young men in
elaborate smoking-suits were handing tea-cakes to some of the women. The
house-party consisted of twelve people, and there were more expected to arrive
on the next day.
“What are
you two talking about?” said Lord Henry, strolling over to the table and
putting his cup down. “I hope Dorian has told you about my plan for
rechristening everything, Gladys. It is a delightful idea.”
“But I
don’t want to be rechristened, Harry,” rejoined the duchess, looking up at him
with her wonderful eyes. “I am quite satisfied with my own name, and I am sure
Mr. Gray should be satisfied with his.”
“My dear
Gladys, I would not alter either name for the world. They are both perfect. I
was thinking chiefly of flowers. Yesterday I cut an orchid, for my button-hole.
It was a marvellous spotted thing, as effective as the seven deadly sins. In a
thoughtless moment I asked one of the gardeners what it was called. He told me
it was a fine specimen of Robinsoniana , or something dreadful of that kind. It
is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things.
Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with
words. That is the reason I hate vulgar realism in literature. The man who
could call a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing
he is fit for.”
“Then what
should we call you, Harry?” she asked.
“His name
is Prince Paradox,” said Dorian.
“I
recognise him in a flash,” exclaimed the duchess.
“I won’t
hear of it,” laughed Lord Henry, sinking into a chair. “From a label there is
no escape! I refuse the title.”
“Royalties
may not abdicate,” fell as a warning from pretty lips.
“You wish
me to defend my throne, then?”
“Yes.
“I give the
truths of to-morrow.”
“I prefer
the mistakes of to-day,” she answered.
“You disarm
me, Gladys,” he cried, catching the wilfulness of her mood.
“Of your
shield, Harry, not of your spear.”
“I never
tilt against beauty,” he said, with a wave of his hand.
“That is
your error, Harry, believe me. You value beauty far too much.”
“How can
you say that? I admit that I think that it is better to be beautiful than to be
good. But on the other hand, no one is more ready than I am to acknowledge that
it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
“Ugliness
is one of the seven deadly sins, then?” cried the duchess. “What becomes of
your simile about the orchid?”
“Ugliness
is one of the seven deadly virtues, Gladys. You, as a good Tory, must not
underrate them. Beer, the Bible, and the seven deadly virtues have made our
England what she is.”
“You don’t
like your country, then?” she asked.
“I live in
it.”
“That you
may censure it the better.”
“Would you
have me take the verdict of Europe on it?” he inquired.
“What do
they say of us?”
“That
Tartuffe has emigrated to England and opened a shop.”
“Is that
yours, Harry?”
“I give it
to you.”
“I could
not use it. It is too true.”
“You need
not be afraid. Our countrymen never recognise a description.”
“They are
practical.”
“They are
more cunning than practical. When they make up their ledger, they balance
stupidity by wealth, and vice by hypocrisy.”
“Still, we
have done great things.”
“Great
things have been thrust on us, Gladys.”
“We have
carried their burden.”
“Only as
far as the Stock Exchange.”
She shook
her head. “I believe in the race,” she cried.
“It
represents the survival of the pushing.”
“It has
development.”
“Decay
fascinates me more.”
“What of
art?” she asked.
“It is a
malady.”
“Love?”
“An
illusion.”
“Religion?”
“The
fashionable substitute for belief.”
“You are a
sceptic.”
“Never!
Scepticism is the beginning of faith.”
“What are
you?”
“To define
is to limit.”
“Give me a
clue.”
“Threads
snap. You would lose your way in the labyrinth.”
“You
bewilder me. Let us talk of some one else.”
“Our host
is a delightful topic. Years ago he was christened Prince Charming.”
“Ah! don’t
remind me of that,” cried Dorian Gray.
“Our host
is rather horrid this evening,” answered the duchess, colouring. “I believe he
thinks that Monmouth married me on purely scientific principles as the best
specimen he could find of a modern butterfly.”
“Well, I
hope he won’t stick pins into you, Duchess,” laughed Dorian.
“Oh! my
maid does that already, Mr. Gray, when she is annoyed with me.”
“And what
does she get annoyed with you about, Duchess?”
“For the
most trivial things, Mr. Gray, I assure you. Usually because I come in at ten
minutes to nine and tell her that I must be dressed by half-past eight.”
“How
unreasonable of her! You should give her warning.”
“I daren’t,
Mr. Gray. Why, she invents hats for me. You remember the one I wore at Lady
Hilstone’s garden-party? You don’t, but it is nice of you to pretend that you
do. Well, she made if out of nothing. All good hats are made out of nothing.”
“Like all
good reputations, Gladys,” interrupted Lord Henry. “Every effect that one
produces gives one an enemy. To be popular one must be a mediocrity.”
“Not with
women,” said the duchess, shaking her head; “and women rule the world. I assure
you we can’t bear mediocrities. We women, as some one says, love with our ears,
just as you men love with your eyes, if you ever love at all.”
“It seems
to me that we never do anything else,” murmured Dorian.
“Ah! then,
you never really love, Mr. Gray,” answered the duchess with mock sadness.
“My dear
Gladys!” cried Lord Henry. “How can you say that? Romance lives by repetition,
and repetition converts an appetite into an art. Besides, each time that one
loves is the only time one has ever loved. Difference of object does not alter
singleness of passion. It merely intensifies it. We can have in life but one
great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that
experience as often as possible.”
“Even when
one has been wounded by it, Harry?” asked the duchess after a pause.
“Especially
when one has been wounded by it,” answered Lord Henry.
The duchess
turned and looked at Dorian Gray with a curious expression in her eyes. “What
do you say to that, Mr. Gray?” she inquired.
Dorian
hesitated for a moment. Then he threw his head back and laughed. “I always
agree with Harry, Duchess.”
“Even when
he is wrong?”
“Harry is
never wrong, Duchess.”
“And does
his philosophy make you happy?”
“I have
never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have searched for
pleasure.”
“And found
it, Mr. Gray?”
“Often. Too
often.”
The duchess
sighed. “I am searching for peace,” she said, “and if I don’t go and dress, I
shall have none this evening.”
“Let me get
you some orchids, Duchess,” cried Dorian, starting to his feet and walking down
the conservatory.
“You are
flirting disgracefully with him,” said Lord Henry to his cousin. “You had
better take care. He is very fascinating.”
“If he were
not, there would be no battle.”
“Greek
meets Greek, then?”
“I am on
the side of the Trojans. They fought for a woman.”
“They were
defeated.”
“There are
worse things than capture,” she answered.
“You gallop
with a loose rein.”
“Pace gives
life,” was the riposte .
“I shall
write it in my diary to-night.”
“What?”
“That a
burnt child loves the fire.”
“I am not
even singed. My wings are untouched.”
“You use
them for everything, except flight.”
“Courage
has passed from men to women. It is a new experience for us.”
“You have a
rival.”
“Who?”
He laughed.
“Lady Narborough,” he whispered. “She perfectly adores him.”
“You fill
me with apprehension. The appeal to antiquity is fatal to us who are
romanticists.”
“Romanticists!
You have all the methods of science.”
“Men have
educated us.”
“But not
explained you.”
“Describe
us as a sex,” was her challenge.
“Sphinxes
without secrets.”
She looked
at him, smiling. “How long Mr. Gray is!” she said. “Let us go and help him. I
have not yet told him the colour of my frock.”
“Ah! you
must suit your frock to his flowers, Gladys.”
“That would
be a premature surrender.”
“Romantic
art begins with its climax.”
“I must
keep an opportunity for retreat.”
“In the
Parthian manner?”
“They found
safety in the desert. I could not do that.”
“Women are
not always allowed a choice,” he answered, but hardly had he finished the
sentence before from the far end of the conservatory came a stifled groan,
followed by the dull sound of a heavy fall. Everybody started up. The duchess
stood motionless in horror. And with fear in his eyes, Lord Henry rushed
through the flapping palms to find Dorian Gray lying face downwards on the tiled
floor in a deathlike swoon.
He was
carried at once into the blue drawing-room and laid upon one of the sofas.
After a short time, he came to himself and looked round with a dazed
expression.
“What has
happened?” he asked. “Oh! I remember. Am I safe here, Harry?” He began to
tremble.
“My dear
Dorian,” answered Lord Henry, “you merely fainted. That was all. You must have
overtired yourself. You had better not come down to dinner. I will take your
place.”
“No, I will
come down,” he said, struggling to his feet. “I would rather come down. I must
not be alone.”
He went to
his room and dressed. There was a wild recklessness of gaiety in his manner as
he sat at table, but now and then a thrill of terror ran through him when he
remembered that, pressed against the window of the conservatory, like a white
handkerchief, he had seen the face of James Vane watching him.
Chapter 18
The next
day he did not leave the house, and, indeed, spent most of the time in his own
room, sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet indifferent to life itself. The
consciousness of being hunted, snared, tracked down, had begun to dominate him.
If the tapestry did but tremble in the wind, he shook. The dead leaves that
were blown against the leaded panes seemed to him like his own wasted
resolutions and wild regrets. When he closed his eyes, he saw again the
sailor’s face peering through the mist-stained glass, and horror seemed once
more to lay its hand upon his heart.
But perhaps
it had been only his fancy that had called vengeance out of the night and set
the hideous shapes of punishment before him. Actual life was chaos, but there
was something terribly logical in the imagination. It was the imagination that
set remorse to dog the feet of sin. It was the imagination that made each crime
bear its misshapen brood. In the common world of fact the wicked were not
punished, nor the good rewarded. Success was given to the strong, failure
thrust upon the weak. That was all. Besides, had any stranger been prowling
round the house, he would have been seen by the servants or the keepers. Had
any foot-marks been found on the flower-beds, the gardeners would have reported
it. Yes, it had been merely fancy. Sibyl Vane’s brother had not come back to
kill him. He had sailed away in his ship to founder in some winter sea. From
him, at any rate, he was safe. Why, the man did not know who he was, could not
know who he was. The mask of youth had saved him.
And yet if
it had been merely an illusion, how terrible it was to think that conscience
could raise such fearful phantoms, and give them visible form, and make them
move before one! What sort of life would his be if, day and night, shadows of
his crime were to peer at him from silent corners, to mock him from secret
places, to whisper in his ear as he sat at the feast, to wake him with icy
fingers as he lay asleep! As the thought crept through his brain, he grew pale
with terror, and the air seemed to him to have become suddenly colder. Oh! in
what a wild hour of madness he had killed his friend! How ghastly the mere
memory of the scene! He saw it all again. Each hideous detail came back to him
with added horror. Out of the black cave of time, terrible and swathed in
scarlet, rose the image of his sin. When Lord Henry came in at six o’clock, he
found him crying as one whose heart will break.
It was not
till the third day that he ventured to go out. There was something in the clear,
pine-scented air of that winter morning that seemed to bring him back his
joyousness and his ardour for life. But it was not merely the physical
conditions of environment that had caused the change. His own nature had
revolted against the excess of anguish that had sought to maim and mar the
perfection of its calm. With subtle and finely wrought temperaments it is
always so. Their strong passions must either bruise or bend. They either slay
the man, or themselves die. Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The
loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plenitude. Besides,
he had convinced himself that he had been the victim of a terror-stricken
imagination, and looked back now on his fears with something of pity and not a
little of contempt.
After
breakfast, he walked with the duchess for an hour in the garden and then drove
across the park to join the shooting-party. The crisp frost lay like salt upon
the grass. The sky was an inverted cup of blue metal. A thin film of ice
bordered the flat, reed-grown lake.
At the
corner of the pine-wood he caught sight of Sir Geoffrey Clouston, the duchess’s
brother, jerking two spent cartridges out of his gun. He jumped from the cart,
and having told the groom to take the mare home, made his way towards his guest
through the withered bracken and rough undergrowth.
“Have you
had good sport, Geoffrey?” he asked.
“Not very
good, Dorian. I think most of the birds have gone to the open. I dare say it
will be better after lunch, when we get to new ground.”
Dorian
strolled along by his side. The keen aromatic air, the brown and red lights
that glimmered in the wood, the hoarse cries of the beaters ringing out from
time to time, and the sharp snaps of the guns that followed, fascinated him and
filled him with a sense of delightful freedom. He was dominated by the
carelessness of happiness, by the high indifference of joy.
Suddenly
from a lumpy tussock of old grass some twenty yards in front of them, with
black-tipped ears erect and long hinder limbs throwing it forward, started a
hare. It bolted for a thicket of alders. Sir Geoffrey put his gun to his
shoulder, but there was something in the animal’s grace of movement that
strangely charmed Dorian Gray, and he cried out at once, “Don’t shoot it,
Geoffrey. Let it live.”
“What
nonsense, Dorian!” laughed his companion, and as the hare bounded into the
thicket, he fired. There were two cries heard, the cry of a hare in pain, which
is dreadful, the cry of a man in agony, which is worse.
“Good
heavens! I have hit a beater!” exclaimed Sir Geoffrey. “What an ass the man was
to get in front of the guns! Stop shooting there!” he called out at the top of
his voice. “A man is hurt.”
The
head-keeper came running up with a stick in his hand.
“Where,
sir? Where is he?” he shouted. At the same time, the firing ceased along the
line.
“Here,”
answered Sir Geoffrey angrily, hurrying towards the thicket. “Why on earth
don’t you keep your men back? Spoiled my shooting for the day.”
Dorian
watched them as they plunged into the alder-clump, brushing the lithe swinging
branches aside. In a few moments they emerged, dragging a body after them into
the sunlight. He turned away in horror. It seemed to him that misfortune
followed wherever he went. He heard Sir Geoffrey ask if the man was really
dead, and the affirmative answer of the keeper. The wood seemed to him to have
become suddenly alive with faces. There was the trampling of myriad feet and
the low buzz of voices. A great copper-breasted pheasant came beating through
the boughs overhead.
After a few
moments—that were to him, in his perturbed state, like endless hours of pain—he
felt a hand laid on his shoulder. He started and looked round.
“Dorian,”
said Lord Henry, “I had better tell them that the shooting is stopped for
to-day. It would not look well to go on.”
“I wish it
were stopped for ever, Harry,” he answered bitterly. “The whole thing is
hideous and cruel. Is the man . . . ?”
He could
not finish the sentence.
“I am
afraid so,” rejoined Lord Henry. “He got the whole charge of shot in his chest.
He must have died almost instantaneously. Come; let us go home.”
They walked
side by side in the direction of the avenue for nearly fifty yards without
speaking. Then Dorian looked at Lord Henry and said, with a heavy sigh, “It is
a bad omen, Harry, a very bad omen.”
“What is?”
asked Lord Henry. “Oh! this accident, I suppose. My dear fellow, it can’t be
helped. It was the man’s own fault. Why did he get in front of the guns?
Besides, it is nothing to us. It is rather awkward for Geoffrey, of course. It
does not do to pepper beaters. It makes people think that one is a wild shot.
And Geoffrey is not; he shoots very straight. But there is no use talking about
the matter.”
Dorian
shook his head. “It is a bad omen, Harry. I feel as if something horrible were
going to happen to some of us. To myself, perhaps,” he added, passing his hand
over his eyes, with a gesture of pain.
The elder
man laughed. “The only horrible thing in the world is ennui , Dorian. That is
the one sin for which there is no forgiveness. But we are not likely to suffer
from it unless these fellows keep chattering about this thing at dinner. I must
tell them that the subject is to be tabooed. As for omens, there is no such
thing as an omen. Destiny does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too
cruel for that. Besides, what on earth could happen to you, Dorian? You have
everything in the world that a man can want. There is no one who would not be
delighted to change places with you.”
“There is
no one with whom I would not change places, Harry. Don’t laugh like that. I am
telling you the truth. The wretched peasant who has just died is better off
than I am. I have no terror of death. It is the coming of death that terrifies
me. Its monstrous wings seem to wheel in the leaden air around me. Good
heavens! don’t you see a man moving behind the trees there, watching me,
waiting for me?”
Lord Henry
looked in the direction in which the trembling gloved hand was pointing. “Yes,”
he said, smiling, “I see the gardener waiting for you. I suppose he wants to
ask you what flowers you wish to have on the table to-night. How absurdly
nervous you are, my dear fellow! You must come and see my doctor, when we get
back to town.”
Dorian
heaved a sigh of relief as he saw the gardener approaching. The man touched his
hat, glanced for a moment at Lord Henry in a hesitating manner, and then
produced a letter, which he handed to his master. “Her Grace told me to wait
for an answer,” he murmured.
Dorian put the
letter into his pocket. “Tell her Grace that I am coming in,” he said, coldly.
The man turned round and went rapidly in the direction of the house.
“How fond
women are of doing dangerous things!” laughed Lord Henry. “It is one of the
qualities in them that I admire most. A woman will flirt with anybody in the
world as long as other people are looking on.”
“How fond
you are of saying dangerous things, Harry! In the present instance, you are
quite astray. I like the duchess very much, but I don’t love her.”
“And the
duchess loves you very much, but she likes you less, so you are excellently
matched.”
“You are
talking scandal, Harry, and there is never any basis for scandal.”
“The basis
of every scandal is an immoral certainty,” said Lord Henry, lighting a cigarette.
“You would
sacrifice anybody, Harry, for the sake of an epigram.”
“The world
goes to the altar of its own accord,” was the answer.
“I wish I
could love,” cried Dorian Gray with a deep note of pathos in his voice. “But I
seem to have lost the passion and forgotten the desire. I am too much
concentrated on myself. My own personality has become a burden to me. I want to
escape, to go away, to forget. It was silly of me to come down here at all. I
think I shall send a wire to Harvey to have the yacht got ready. On a yacht one
is safe.”
“Safe from
what, Dorian? You are in some trouble. Why not tell me what it is? You know I
would help you.”
“I can’t
tell you, Harry,” he answered sadly. “And I dare say it is only a fancy of
mine. This unfortunate accident has upset me. I have a horrible presentiment
that something of the kind may happen to me.”
“What
nonsense!”
“I hope it
is, but I can’t help feeling it. Ah! here is the Duchess, looking like Artemis
in a tailor-made gown. You see we have come back, Duchess.”
“I have
heard all about it, Mr. Gray,” she answered. “Poor Geoffrey is terribly upset.
And it seems that you asked him not to shoot the hare. How curious!”
“Yes, it
was very curious. I don’t know what made me say it.
Some whim,
I suppose. It looked the loveliest of little live things. But I am sorry they
told you about the man. It is a hideous subject.”
“It is an
annoying subject,” broke in Lord Henry. “It has no psychological value at all.
Now if Geoffrey had done the thing on purpose, how interesting he would be! I
should like to know some one who had committed a real murder.”
“How horrid
of you, Harry!” cried the duchess. “Isn’t it, Mr. Gray? Harry, Mr. Gray is ill
again. He is going to faint.”
Dorian drew
himself up with an effort and smiled. “It is nothing, Duchess,” he murmured;
“my nerves are dreadfully out of order. That is all. I am afraid I walked too
far this morning. I didn’t hear what Harry said. Was it very bad? You must tell
me some other time. I think I must go and lie down. You will excuse me, won’t
you?”
They had
reached the great flight of steps that led from the conservatory on to the terrace.
As the glass door closed behind Dorian, Lord Henry turned and looked at the
duchess with his slumberous eyes. “Are you very much in love with him?” he
asked.
She did not
answer for some time, but stood gazing at the landscape. “I wish I knew,” she said
at last.
He shook
his head. “Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that charms one. A
mist makes things wonderful.”
“One may
lose one’s way.”
“All ways
end at the same point, my dear Gladys.”
“What is
that?”
“Disillusion.”
“It was my
d “It came to you crowned.”
“I am tired
of strawberry leaves.”
“They
become you.”
“Only in
public.”
“You would
miss them,” said Lord Henry.
“I will not
part with a petal.”
“Monmouth
has ears.”
“Old age is
dull of hearing.”
“Has he
never been jealous?”
“I wish he
had been.”
He glanced
about as if in search of something. “What are you looking for?” she inquired.
“The button
from your foil,” he answered. “You have dropped it.”
She
laughed. “I have still the mask.”
“It makes
your eyes lovelier,” was his reply.
She laughed
again. Her teeth showed like white seeds in a scarlet fruit.
Upstairs,
in his own room, Dorian Gray was lying on a sofa, with terror in every tingling
fibre of his body. Life had suddenly become too hideous a burden for him to
bear. The dreadful death of the unlucky beater, shot in the thicket like a wild
animal, had seemed to him to pre-figure death for himself also. He had nearly
swooned at what Lord Henry had said in a chance mood of cynical jesting.
At five
o’clock he rang his bell for his servant and gave him orders to pack his things
for the night-express to town, and to have the brougham at the door by
eight-thirty. He was determined not to sleep another night at Selby Royal. It
was an ill-omened place. Death walked there in the sunlight. The grass of the
forest had been spotted with blood.
Then he
wrote a note to Lord Henry, telling him that he was going up to town to consult
his doctor and asking him to entertain his guests in his absence. As he was
putting it into the envelope, a knock came to the door, and his valet informed
him that the head-keeper wished to see him. He frowned and bit his lip. “Send
him in,” he muttered, after some moments’ hesitation.
As soon as
the man entered, Dorian pulled his chequebook out of a drawer and spread it out
before him.
“I suppose
you have come about the unfortunate accident of this morning, Thornton?” he
said, taking up a pen.
“Yes, sir,”
answered the gamekeeper.
“Was the
poor fellow married? Had he any people dependent on him?” asked Dorian, looking
bored. “If so, I should not like them to be left in want, and will send them
any sum of money you may think necessary.”
“We don’t
know who he is, sir. That is what I took the liberty of coming to you about.”
“Don’t know
who he is?” said Dorian, listlessly. “What do you mean? Wasn’t he one of your
men?”
“No, sir.
Never saw him before. Seems like a sailor, sir.”
The pen
dropped from Dorian Gray’s hand, and he felt as if his heart had suddenly
stopped beating. “A sailor?” he cried out. “Did you say a sailor?”
“Yes, sir.
He looks as if he had been a sort of sailor; tattooed on both arms, and that
kind of thing.”
“Was there
anything found on him?” said Dorian, leaning forward and looking at the man
with startled eyes. “Anything that would tell his name?”
“Some
money, sir—not much, and a six-shooter. There was no name of any kind. A
decent-looking man, sir, but rough-like. A sort of sailor we think.”
Dorian
started to his feet. A terrible hope fluttered past him. He clutched at it
madly. “Where is the body?” he exclaimed. “Quick! I must see it at once.”
“It is in
an empty stable in the Home Farm, sir. The folk don’t like to have that sort of
thing in their houses. They say a corpse brings bad luck.”
“The Home
Farm! Go there at once and meet me. Tell one of the grooms to bring my horse
round. No. Never mind. I’ll go to the stables myself. It will save time.”
In less
than a quarter of an hour, Dorian Gray was galloping down the long avenue as
hard as he could go. The trees seemed to sweep past him in spectral procession,
and wild shadows to fling themselves across his path. Once the mare swerved at
a white gate-post and nearly threw him. He lashed her across the neck with his
crop. She cleft the dusky air like an arrow. The stones flew from her hoofs.
At last he
reached the Home Farm. Two men were loitering in the yard. He leaped from the
saddle and threw the reins to one of them. In the farthest stable a light was
glimmering. Something seemed to tell him that the body was there, and he
hurried to the door and put his hand upon the latch.
There he
paused for a moment, feeling that he was on the brink of a discovery that would
either make or mar his life. Then he thrust the door open and entered.
On a heap
of sacking in the far corner was lying the dead body of a man dressed in a
coarse shirt and a pair of blue trousers. A spotted handkerchief had been
placed over the face. A coarse candle, stuck in a bottle, sputtered beside it.
Dorian Gray
shuddered. He felt that his could not be the hand to take the handkerchief
away, and called out to one of the farm-servants to come to him.
“Take that
thing off the face. I wish to see it,” he said, clutching at the door-post for
support.
When the farm-servant
had done so, he stepped forward. A cry of joy broke from his lips. The man who
had been shot in the thicket was James Vane.
He stood
there for some minutes looking at the dead body. As he rode home, his eyes were
full of tears, for he knew he was safe.
Chapter 19
There is no
use your telling me that you are going to be good,” cried Lord Henry, dipping
his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled with rose-water. “You are quite
perfect. Pray, don’t change.”
Dorian Gray
shook his head. “No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful things in my life. I
am not going to do any more. I began my good actions yesterday.”
“Where were
you yesterday?”
“In the
country, Harry. I was staying at a little inn by myself.”
“My dear
boy,” said Lord Henry, smiling, “anybody can be good in the country. There are
no temptations there. That is the reason why people who live out of town are so
absolutely uncivilised. Civilisation is not by any means an easy thing to
attain to. There are only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by being
cultured, the other by being corrupt. Country people have no opportunity of
being either, so they stagnate.”
“Culture
and corruption,” echoed Dorian. “I have known something of both. It seems
terrible to me now that they should ever be found together. For I have a new
ideal, Harry. I am going to alter. I think I have altered.”
“You have
not yet told me what your good action was. Or did you say you had done more
than one?” asked his companion as he spilled into his plate a little crimson
pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a perforated, shell-shaped spoon,
snowed white sugar upon them.
“I can tell
you, Harry. It is not a story I could tell to any one else. I spared somebody.
It sounds vain, but you understand what I mean. She was quite beautiful and
wonderfully like Sibyl Vane. I think it was that which first attracted me to
her. You remember Sibyl, don’t you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was
not one of our own class, of course. She was simply a girl in a village. But I
really loved her. I am quite sure that I loved her. All during this wonderful
May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her two or three times
a week. Yesterday she met me in a little orchard. The apple-blossoms kept
tumbling down on her hair, and she was laughing. We were to have gone away
together this morning at dawn. Suddenly I determined to leave her as flowerlike
as I had found her.”
“I should
think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill of real pleasure,
Dorian,” interrupted Lord Henry. “But I can finish your idyll for you. You gave
her good advice and broke her heart. That was the beginning of your
reformation.”
“Harry, you
are horrible! You mustn’t say these dreadful things. Hetty’s heart is not
broken. Of course, she cried and all that. But there is no disgrace upon her.
She can live, like Perdita, in her garden of mint and marigold.”
“And weep
over a faithless Florizel,” said Lord Henry, laughing, as he leaned back in his
chair. “My dear Dorian, you have the most curiously boyish moods. Do you think
this girl will ever be really content now with any one of her own rank? I
suppose she will be married some day to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman.
Well, the fact of having met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her
husband, and she will be wretched. From a moral point of view, I cannot say
that I think much of your great renunciation. Even as a beginning, it is poor.
Besides,
how do you know that Hetty isn’t floating at the present moment in some starlit
mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies round her, like Ophelia?”
“I can’t
bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest the most serious
tragedies. I am sorry I told you now. I don’t care what you say to me. I know I
was right in acting as I did. Poor Hetty! As I rode past the farm this morning,
I saw her white face at the window, like a spray of jasmine. Don’t let us talk
about it any more, and don’t try to persuade me that the first good action I
have done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever known,
is really a sort of sin. I want to be better. I am going to be better. Tell me
something about yourself. What is going on in town? I have not been to the club
for days.”
“The people
are still discussing poor Basil’s disappearance.”
“I should
have thought they had got tired of that by this time,” said Dorian, pouring
himself out some wine and frowning slightly.
“My dear
boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and the British public
are really not equal to the mental strain of having more than one topic every
three months. They have been very fortunate lately, however. They have had my
own divorce-case and Alan Campbell’s suicide. Now they have got the mysterious
disappearance of an artist. Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the
grey ulster who left for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of November
was poor Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris
at all. I suppose in about a fortnight we shall be told that he has been seen
in San Francisco. It is an odd thing, but every one who disappears is said to
be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the
attractions of the next world.”
“What do
you think has happened to Basil?” asked Dorian, holding up his Burgundy against
the light and wondering how it was that he could discuss the matter so calmly.
“I have not
the slightest idea. If Basil chooses to hide himself, it is no business of
mine. If he is dead, I don’t want to think about him. Death is the only thing
that ever terrifies me. I hate it.”
“Why?” said
the younger man wearily.
“Because,”
said Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt trellis of an open
vinaigrette box, “one can survive everything nowadays except that. Death and
vulgarity are the only two facts in the nineteenth century that one cannot
explain away. Let us have our coffee in the music-room, Dorian. You must play
Chopin to me. The man with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely.
Poor Victoria! I was very fond of her. The house is rather lonely without her.
Of course, married life is merely a habit, a bad habit. But then one regrets
the loss even of one’s worst habits. Perhaps one regrets them the most. They
are such an essential part of one’s personality.”
Dorian said
nothing, but rose from the table, and passing into the next room, sat down to
the piano and let his fingers stray across the white and black ivory of the
keys. After the coffee had been brought in, he stopped, and looking over at
Lord Henry, said, “Harry, did it ever occur to you that Basil was murdered?”
Lord Henry
yawned. “Basil was very popular, and always wore a Waterbury watch. Why should
he have been murdered? He was not clever enough to have enemies. Of course, he
had a wonderful genius for painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet
be as dull as possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me
once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration for
you and that you were the dominant motive of his art.”
“I was very
fond of Basil,” said Dorian with a note of sadness in his voice. “But don’t
people say that he was murdered?”
“Oh, some
of the papers do. It does not seem to me to be at all probable. I know there
are dreadful places in Paris, but Basil was not the sort of man to have gone to
them. He had no curiosity. It was his chief defect.”
“What would
you say, Harry, if I told you that I had murdered Basil?” said the younger man.
He watched him intently after he had spoken.
“I would
say, my dear fellow, that you were posing for a character that doesn’t suit
you. All crime is vulgar, just as all vulgarity is crime. It is not in you,
Dorian, to commit a murder. I am sorry if I hurt your vanity by saying so, but
I assure you it is true. Crime belongs exclusively to the lower orders. I don’t
blame them in the smallest degree. I should fancy that crime was to them what
art is to us, simply a method of procuring extraordinary sensations.”
“A method
of procuring sensations? Do you think, then, that a man who has once committed
a murder could possibly do the same crime again? Don’t tell me that.”
“Oh!
anything becomes a pleasure if one does it too often,” cried Lord Henry,
laughing. “That is one of the most important secrets of life. I should fancy,
however, that murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one
cannot talk about after dinner. But let us pass from poor Basil. I wish I could
believe that he had come to such a really romantic end as you suggest, but I can’t.
I dare say he fell into the Seine off an omnibus and that the conductor hushed
up the scandal. Yes: I should fancy that was his end. I see him lying now on
his back under those dull-green waters, with the heavy barges floating over him
and long weeds catching in his hair. Do you know, I don’t think he would have
done much more good work. During the last ten years his painting had gone off
very much.”
Dorian
heaved a sigh, and Lord Henry strolled across the room and began to stroke the
head of a curious Java parrot, a large, grey-plumaged bird with pink crest and
tail, that was balancing itself upon a bamboo perch. As his pointed fingers
touched it, it dropped the white scurf of crinkled lids over black, glasslike
eyes and began to sway backwards and forwards.
“Yes,” he
continued, turning round and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket; “his
painting had quite gone off. It seemed to me to have lost something. It had
lost an ideal. When you and he ceased to be great friends, he ceased to be a
great artist. What was it separated you? I suppose he bored you. If so, he
never forgave you. It’s a habit bores have. By the way, what has become of that
wonderful portrait he did of you? I don’t think I have ever seen it since he
finished it. Oh! I remember your telling me years ago that you had sent it down
to Selby, and that it had got mislaid or stolen on the way. You never got it
back? What a pity! it was really a masterpiece. I remember I wanted to buy it.
I wish I had now. It belonged to Basil’s best period. Since then, his work was
that curious mixture of bad painting and good intentions that always entitles a
man to be called a representative British artist. Did you advertise for it? You
should.”
“I forget,”
said Dorian. “I suppose I did. But I never really liked it. I am sorry I sat
for it. The memory of the thing is hateful to me.
Why do you
talk of it? It used to remind me of those curious lines in some play— Hamlet ,
I think—how do they run?—
“Like the
painting of a sorrow,
A face
without a heart.”
Yes: that
is what it was like.”
Lord Henry
laughed. “If a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart,” he
answered, sinking into an arm-chair.
Dorian Gray
shook his head and struck some soft chords on the piano. “‘Like the painting of
a sorrow,’” he repeated, “‘a face without a heart.’”
The elder
man lay back and looked at him with half-closed eyes. “By the way, Dorian,” he
said after a pause, “‘what does it profit a man if he gain the whole world and
lose—how does the quotation run?—his own soul’?”
The music
jarred, and Dorian Gray started and stared at his friend. “Why do you ask me
that, Harry?”
“My dear
fellow,” said Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows in surprise, “I asked you
because I thought you might be able to give me an answer. That is all. I was
going through the park last Sunday, and close by the Marble Arch there stood a
little crowd of shabby-looking people listening to some vulgar street-preacher.
As I passed by, I heard the man yelling out that question to his audience. It
struck me as being rather dramatic. London is very rich in curious effects of
that kind. A wet Sunday, an uncouth Christian in a mackintosh, a ring of sickly
white faces under a broken roof of dripping umbrellas, and a wonderful phrase
flung into the air by shrill hysterical lips—it was really very good in its
way, quite a suggestion. I thought of telling the prophet that art had a soul,
but that man had not. I am afraid, however, he would not have understood me.”
“Don’t,
Harry. The soul is a terrible reality. It can be bought, and sold, and bartered
away. It can be poisoned, or made perfect. There is a soul in each one of us. I
know it.”
“Do you
feel quite sure of that, Dorian?”
“Quite
sure.”
“Ah! then
it must be an illusion. The things one feels absolutely certain about are never
true. That is the fatality of faith, and the lesson of romance. How grave you
are! Don’t be so serious. What have you or I to do with the superstitions of
our age? No: we have given up our belief in the soul. Play me something. Play
me a nocturne, Dorian, and, as you play, tell me, in a low voice, how you have
kept your youth. You must have some secret. I am only ten years older than you
are, and I am wrinkled, and worn, and yellow. You are really wonderful, Dorian.
You have never looked more charming than you do to-night. You remind me of the
day I saw you first. You were rather cheeky, very shy, and absolutely
extraordinary. You have changed, of course, but not in appearance. I wish you
would tell me your secret. To get back my youth I would do anything in the
world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. Youth! There is
nothing like it. It’s absurd to talk of the ignorance of youth. The only people
to whose opinions I listen now with any respect are people much younger than
myself. They seem in front of me. Life has revealed to them her latest wonder.
As for the aged, I always contradict the aged. I do it on principle. If you ask
them their opinion on something that happened yesterday, they solemnly give you
the opinions current in 1820, when people wore high stocks, believed in
everything, and knew absolutely nothing. How lovely that thing you are playing
is! I wonder, did Chopin write it at Majorca, with the sea weeping round the
villa and the salt spray dashing against the panes? It is marvellously
romantic. What a blessing it is that there is one art left to us that is not
imitative! Don’t stop. I want music to-night. It seems to me that you are the
young Apollo and that I am Marsyas listening to you. I have sorrows, Dorian, of
my own, that even you know nothing of. The tragedy of old age is not that one
is old, but that one is young. I am amazed sometimes at my own sincerity. Ah,
Dorian, how happy you are! What an exquisite life you have had! You have drunk
deeply of everything. You have crushed the grapes against your palate. Nothing
has been hidden from you. And it has all been to you no more than the sound of
music. It has not marred you. You are still the same.”
“I am not
the same, Harry.”
“Yes, you
are the same. I wonder what the rest of your life will be. Don’t spoil it by
renunciations. At present you are a perfect type. Don’t make yourself
incomplete. You are quite flawless now. You need not shake your head: you know
you are. Besides, Dorian, don’t deceive yourself. Life is not governed by will
or intention. Life is a question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up
cells in which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy
yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of colour in a room
or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings
subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across
again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play—I tell you,
Dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.
Browning
writes about that somewhere; but our own senses will imagine them for us. There
are moments when the odour of lilas blanc passes suddenly across me, and I have
to live the strangest month of my life over again. I wish I could change places
with you, Dorian. The world has cried out against us both, but it has always
worshipped you. It always will worship you. You are the type of what the age is
searching for, and what it is afraid it has found. I am so glad that you have
never done anything, never carved a statue, or painted a picture, or produced
anything outside of yourself! Life has been your art. You have set yourself to
music. Your days are your sonnets.”
Dorian rose
up from the piano and passed his hand through his hair. “Yes, life has been
exquisite,” he murmured, “but I am not going to have the same life, Harry. And
you must not say these extravagant things to me. You don’t know everything
about me. I think that if you did, even you would turn from me. You laugh.
Don’t laugh.”
“Why have
you stopped playing, Dorian? Go back and give me the nocturne over again. Look
at that great, honey-coloured moon that hangs in the dusky air. She is waiting
for you to charm her, and if you play she will come closer to the earth. You
won’t? Let us go to the club, then. It has been a charming evening, and we must
end it charmingly. There is some one at White’s who wants immensely to know
you—young Lord Poole, Bournemouth’s eldest son. He has already copied your
neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite delightful and
rather reminds me of you.”
“I hope
not,” said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes. “But I am tired to-night, Harry.
I shan’t go to the club. It is nearly eleven, and I want to go to bed early.”
“Do stay.
You have never played so well as to-night. There was something in your touch
that was wonderful. It had more expression than I had ever heard from it
before.”
“It is
because I am going to be good,” he answered, smiling. “I am a little changed
already.”
“You cannot
change to me, Dorian,” said Lord Henry. “You and I will always be friends.”
“Yet you
poisoned me with a book once. I should not forgive that. Harry, promise me that
you will never lend that book to any one. It does harm.”
“My dear
boy, you are really beginning to moralise. You will soon be going about like
the converted, and the revivalist, warning people against all the sins of which
you have grown tired. You are much too delightful to do that. Besides, it is no
use. You and I are what we are, and will be what we will be. As for being
poisoned by a book, there is no such thing as that. Art has no influence upon
action. It annihilates the desire to act. It is superbly sterile. The books
that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame. That
is all. But we won’t discuss literature. Come round to-morrow. I am going to
ride at eleven. We might go together, and I will take you to lunch afterwards
with Lady Branksome. She is a charming woman, and wants to consult you about
some tapestries she is thinking of buying. Mind you come. Or shall we lunch
with our little duchess? She says she never sees you now. Perhaps you are tired
of Gladys? I thought you would be. Her clever tongue gets on one’s nerves.
Well, in any case, be here at eleven.”
“Must I
really come, Harry?”
“Certainly.
The park is quite lovely now. I don’t think there have been such lilacs since
the year I met you.”
“Very well.
I shall be here at eleven,” said Dorian. “Good night, Harry.” As he reached the
door, he hesitated for a moment, as if he had something more to say. Then he
sighed and went out.
Chapter 20
It was a
lovely night, so warm that he threw his coat over his arm and did not even put
his silk scarf round his throat. As he strolled home, smoking his cigarette,
two young men in evening dress passed him. He heard one of them whisper to the
other, “That is Dorian Gray.” He remembered how pleased he used to be when he was
pointed out, or stared at, or talked about. He was tired of hearing his own
name now. Half the charm of the little village where he had been so often
lately was that no one knew who he was. He had often told the girl whom he had
lured to love him that he was poor, and she had believed him. He had told her
once that he was wicked, and she had laughed at him and answered that wicked
people were always very old and very ugly. What a laugh she had!—just like a
thrush singing. And how pretty she had been in her cotton dresses and her large
hats! She knew nothing, but she had everything that he had lost. When he
reached home, he found his servant waiting up for him. He sent him to bed, and
threw himself down on the sofa in the library, and began to think over some of
the things that Lord Henry had said to him. Was it really true that one could
never change? He felt a wild longing for the unstained purity of his
boyhood—his rose-white boyhood, as Lord Henry had once called it. He knew that
he had tarnished himself, filled his mind with corruption and given horror to
his fancy; that he had been an evil influence to others, and had experienced a
terrible joy in being so; and that of the lives that had crossed his own, it
had been the fairest and the most full of promise that he had brought to shame.
But was it all irretrievable? Was there no hope for him? Ah! in what a
monstrous moment of pride and passion he had prayed that the portrait should
bear the burden of his days, and he keep the unsullied splendour of eternal
youth! All his failure had been due to that. Better for him that each sin of
his life had brought its sure swift penalty along with it. There was
purification in punishment. Not “Forgive us our sins” but “Smite us for our
iniquities” should be the prayer of man to a most just God. The curiously
carved mirror that Lord Henry had given to him, so many years ago now, was
standing on the table, and the white-limbed Cupids laughed round it as of old.
He took it up, as he had done on that night of horror when be had first noted
the change in the fatal picture, and with wild, tear-dimmed eyes looked into
its polished shield. Once, some one who had terribly loved him had written to
him a mad letter, ending with these idolatrous words: “The world is changed because
you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.” The
phrases came back to his memory, and he repeated them over and over to himself.
Then he loathed his own beauty, and flinging the mirror on the floor, crushed
it into silver splinters beneath his heel. It was his beauty that had ruined
him, his beauty and the youth that he had prayed for. But for those two things,
his life might have been free from stain. His beauty had been to him but a
mask, his youth but a mockery. What was youth at best? A green, an unripe time,
a time of shallow moods, and sickly thoughts. Why had he worn its livery? Youth
had spoiled him. It was better not to think of the past. Nothing could alter
that. It was of himself, and of his own future, that he had to think. James
Vane was hidden in a nameless grave in Selby churchyard. Alan Campbell had shot
himself one night in his laboratory, but had not revealed the secret that he
had been forced to know. The excitement, such as it was, over Basil Hallward’s
disappearance would soon pass away. It was already waning. He was perfectly
safe there. Nor, indeed, was it the death of Basil Hallward that weighed most
upon his mind. It was the living death of his own soul that troubled him. Basil
had painted the portrait that had marred his life. He could not forgive him
that. It was the portrait that had done everything. Basil had said things to
him that were unbearable, and that he had yet borne with patience. The murder
had been simply the madness of a moment. As for Alan Campbell, his suicide had
been his own act. He had chosen to do it. It was nothing to him. A new life!
That was what he wanted. That was what he was waiting for. Surely he had begun
it already. He had spared one innocent thing, at any rate. He would never again
tempt innocence. He would be good. As he thought of Hetty Merton, he began to
wonder if the portrait in the locked room had changed. Surely it was not still
so horrible as it had been? Perhaps if his life became pure, he would be able
to expel every sign of evil passion from the face. Perhaps the signs of evil
had already gone away. He would go and look. He took the lamp from the table
and crept upstairs. As he unbarred the door, a smile of joy flitted across his
strangely young-looking face and lingered for a moment about his lips. Yes, he
would be good, and the hideous thing that he had hidden away would no longer be
a terror to him. He felt as if the load had been lifted from him already. He
went in quietly, locking the door behind him, as was his custom, and dragged
the purple hanging from the portrait. A cry of pain and indignation broke from
him. He could see no change, save that in the eyes there was a look of cunning
and in the mouth the curved wrinkle of the hypocrite. The thing was still loathsome—more
loathsome, if possible, than before—and the scarlet dew that spotted the hand
seemed brighter, and more like blood newly spilled. Then he trembled. Had it
been merely vanity that had made him do his one good deed? Or the desire for a
new sensation, as Lord Henry had hinted, with his mocking laugh? Or that
passion to act a part that sometimes makes us do things finer than we are
ourselves? Or, perhaps, all these? And why was the red stain larger than it had
been? It seemed to have crept like a horrible disease over the wrinkled
fingers. There was blood on the painted feet, as though the thing had
dripped—blood even on the hand that had not held the knife. Confess? Did it
mean that he was to confess? To give himself up and be put to death? He laughed.
He felt that the idea was monstrous. Besides, even if he did confess, who would
believe him? There was no trace of the murdered man anywhere. Everything
belonging to him had been destroyed. He himself had burned what had been
below-stairs. The world would simply say that he was mad. They would shut him
up if he persisted in his story. . . . Yet it was his duty to confess, to
suffer public shame, and to make public atonement. There was a God who called
upon men to tell their sins to earth as well as to heaven. Nothing that he
could do would cleanse him till he had told his own sin. His sin? He shrugged
his shoulders. The death of Basil Hallward seemed very little to him. He was
thinking of Hetty Merton. For it was an unjust mirror, this mirror of his soul
that he was looking at. Vanity? Curiosity? Hypocrisy? Had there been nothing
more in his renunciation than that? There had been something more. At least he
thought so. But who could tell? . . . No. There had been nothing more. Through
vanity he had spared her. In hypocrisy he had worn the mask of goodness. For
curiosity’s sake he had tried the denial of self. He recognised that now. But
this murder—was it to dog him all his life? Was he always to be burdened by his
past? Was he really to confess? Never. There was only one bit of evidence left
against him. The picture itself—that was evidence. He would destroy it. Why had
he kept it so long? Once it had given him pleasure to watch it changing and
growing old. Of late he had felt no such pleasure. It had kept him awake at
night. When he had been away, he had been filled with terror lest other eyes
should look upon it. It had brought melancholy across his passions. Its mere
memory had marred many moments of joy. It had been like conscience to him. Yes,
it had been conscience. He would destroy it. He looked round and saw the knife
that had stabbed Basil Hallward. He had cleaned it many times, till there was
no stain left upon it. It was bright, and glistened. As it had killed the
painter, so it would kill the painter’s work, and all that that meant. It would
kill the past, and when that was dead, he would be free. It would kill this
monstrous soul-life, and without its hideous warnings, he would be at peace. He
seized the thing, and stabbed the picture with it. There was a cry heard, and a
crash. The cry was so horrible in its agony that the frightened servants woke
and crept out of their rooms. Two gentlemen, who were passing in the square
below, stopped and looked up at the great house. They walked on till they met a
policeman and brought him back. The man rang the bell several times, but there
was no answer. Except for a light in one of the top windows, the house was all
dark. After a time, he went away and stood in an adjoining portico and watched.
“Whose house is that, Constable?” asked the elder of the two gentlemen. “Mr.
Dorian Gray’s, sir,” answered the policeman. They looked at each other, as they
walked away, and sneered. One of them was Sir Henry Ashton’s uncle. Inside, in
the servants’ part of the house, the half-clad domestics were talking in low
whispers to each other. Old Mrs. Leaf was crying and wringing her hands.
Francis was as pale as death. After about a quarter of an hour, he got the
coachman and one of the footmen and crept upstairs. They knocked, but there was
no reply. They called out. Everything was still. Finally, after vainly trying
to force the door, they got on the roof and dropped down on to the balcony. The
windows yielded easily—their bolts were old. When they entered, they found
hanging upon the wall a splendid portrait of their master as they had last seen
him, in all the wonder of his exquisite youth and beauty. Lying on the floor
was a dead man, in evening dress, with a knife in his heart. He was withered,
wrinkled, and loathsome of visage. It was not till they had examined the rings
that they recognised who it was.
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